Excellent advice from pps. This is a game for these men, and the normal rules of engagement don't apply in this game. You have to stop acting as you normally would, i.e you don't need to be considerate, polite, thoughtful, generous, kind. Forget how you want to act, how you think you should - none of that matters. What he thinks? Totally irrelevant. What other people may think? Totally irrelevant.
You can't co-parent with these men, because they can't do it. They're too selfish, too self absorbed and it's all about them. Avoid face to face and phone contact wherever possible. Try and keep it to text and email. Never respond to anything that is not about your dc. Remain focused on the facts and arrangements, never rise to insults etc.
Think of yourself as a grey rock, immovable, plain, boring. Everything he says and does will eventually just bounce off you. It's really hard to start with, because it's not in your nature to be like this, and he knows it. This is why he's "winning" the game just now. But now you know the rules, and how to play. There are lots of us in your position. I promise you it can be done.
He's not in control anymore. It's your life and you can do what the hell you like. Give him a nickname and think this to yourself whenever you have to have any dealings with him, it takes the sting out of things. Just because he's so f*ed up he can't walk away and concentrate on being a good parent doesn't mean you can't.