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Original poster

Husband left me for mum of 1st child

58 replies

RogueAngel79 · 22/04/2017 16:38

RogueAngel79
I need to tell you my situation because you seem to have such good advice..., two weeks ago my H walked out on me, leaving 2 boys 9 6, after 12 year saying he isn't happy and needs time to think...2 conversation and him still saying he needs time cue yesterday, txt me saying he's gonna give it another go with the mother of 1st child (10) who only came bk into his life at Xmas because of me...he's been seeing her since February and living with her since the night he walked out......yesterday he changed his fb photo to him and her, and says he's happier than he ever had been.....I'm broken....can't sleep can't eat, I've blocked them on fb, but what do I do now, I feel I made this happen with being so pleased for his relationship with oldest son to go ahead I treated him like one of my own, all his things are gone and he's driving around in her car, and when we speak I can't get any sense, he hasn't even trying to work things out I'm so lost.......xx

OP posts:
Lazybastet · 22/04/2017 18:02

She was 14/15 and he was 24/25 when they conceived? Is that correct?

Is he older than you?

MrsJoyOdell · 22/04/2017 18:07

I know your hurting OP and I really feel for you, but if he was 25 and impregnated a 14/15 year old he is really no loss!!

Gabilan · 22/04/2017 18:12

ps. she was young when she had the child only 15

Err. Right. So when she was 14/15 he had sex with her and she's 10 years younger than him? He's revolting.

Astro55 · 22/04/2017 18:12

Sorry I meant that OW wants revenge on the scum bag who ditched her - you know reel them in , get them to dump the wife and then dump him ....

As she was so young perhaps she had a crush that she can't shake off -

He's vile having a relationship with such a young teen and leaving her while pregnant - couldn't go there

Original poster
RogueAngel79 · 22/04/2017 18:15

I was told that she lied about her age, and no he's 35 I'm 37, I'm starting to question everything i was ever told now I'm talking about it here, I'm so confused I never questioned him about it much just took what was said, I feel.like a right fool now, so he was 22 and she was 15 it's 8 years difference not 10 xx

OP posts:
Original poster
RogueAngel79 · 22/04/2017 18:18

Like I said I didn't know untill a year into our relationship, I can't believe I've been so stupid, I should have really question him more, xx 🙁🙁

OP posts:
CharleyFarleyy · 22/04/2017 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ClodTheGoat · 22/04/2017 18:27

Hmmm.

Original poster
RogueAngel79 · 22/04/2017 18:27

You think this is unbelievable, try been me, I'm not a troll, I haven't slept in 3 days a have a full time job and two sons to think about, I'm sorry if it not making sense, I don't which way is up at the minute,

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 22/04/2017 18:32

So you encouraged him to get in contact with this woman to see his son. Is that correct?

You are definitely worth more than this man. What an idiot. Stay strong Flowers.

PutThatPomBearBack · 22/04/2017 18:33
Hmm

Xx

Original poster
RogueAngel79 · 22/04/2017 18:36

Yes I did, the 1st contacted me by fb, asking about his dad, I encouraged H to see him because he wasn't sure about it, I believe all children should have contact with both parents, Im such a fool xx🙁🙁

OP posts:
pallasathena · 22/04/2017 18:43

You are not a fool. You are a decent person. Clearly, your ex is not.

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/04/2017 19:11

Your 'd'h is the fool and a worthless pig. He abandoned his first born and kept him a secret from you. No honourable person does this. Nothing he does should surprise you. Please stay strong and don't ever accept him back. You owe it to your children to teach them that this is not how real men act.

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/04/2017 23:24

It would have been better for the boy if he hadnt seen him because when all this goes tits up, which it will, he will probably abandon the boy yet again.

Lets face it, when your first born gets in touch after 12 years most peoples first thought wouldnt be the jump into bed with the other parent would it? He is a shit, he was always a shit and will always be a shit.

Jux · 23/04/2017 00:08

PongyangKipperbang top post!

Aquamarine1029 · 23/04/2017 03:51

I'll tell you what you're going to do. You're going to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and be the strong woman you are. What he did to you is beyond horrible but you have children and a wonderful future to live for. Get a lawyer NOW and get on with it. You can totally do this.

Original poster
RogueAngel79 · 23/04/2017 06:32

Thank you guys, I will try my hardest xx

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 23/04/2017 07:30

Honestly you are better off out of this. He got a fifteen year old pregnant. He was sleeping with her when she was 14? He was in his twenties. That's rape and it's disgusting for a grown man to sleep with a fourteen year old. He lied as well, didn't support his own child, and now he's cheated, then just walked out. Abosolute and utter scumbag piece of shit.

Original poster
RogueAngel79 · 23/04/2017 08:07

Do you know what, I never even though it of it like that(they say love makes you blind but In my case just stupid!) , I just can't believe I've given this man 2 beautiful little boys and over 11 years of my life, for him to do this, when he takes the boys out tomorrow I'm gonna stand at the door and smile politely, he won't ever see me cry again, and I will never ask him back, my boys deserve more than him, and so do I xx! Xx

OP posts:
wump · 23/04/2017 08:42

Good for you Rouge keep that strength up now you're on the right path and gaining self respect.

Zaphodsotherhead · 23/04/2017 10:07

Oh, and don't believe him when he says he will keep paying his share - that will last only until the guilt stops. And from the sound of him, that will be about s week. Get legal on him.

corythatwas · 23/04/2017 10:36

This was not his first betrayal of you. How did you feel when you first realised that this man had lied to you for all those years about having another child, that he had betrayed that other child by walking out on him when he was tiny and pretending for all those years he didn't exist, that he had let your children grow up without knowing they had a brother? Once you knew that, how could you ever trust him about anything?

You gave him two beautiful children and his first partner gave him one. All children have equal claims on him, but he is a dick who doesn't care about claims or responsibilities.

Huskylover1 · 23/04/2017 11:00

I can't believe that he got a child pregnant. And then abandoned her and pretended her baby didn't exist. That is truly disgusting. I would imagine that her parents & family hate the very bones of him, so his life with her is not going to be plain sailing.

He is also going to have a pretty disgruntled child on his hands, who I suspect is going to lash out at his shit father, especially as he is just on the cusp of his teens.

My point is, he is in for a really rough ride. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he tries to come home, once he realises the grass isn't greener. And if I was you, I'd be telling him to get to fuck.

gillybeanz · 23/04/2017 11:08

I'm sorry you are going through this, but he's done it once and seems to be able to move on fast.
The best thing you can do is make sure your children are financially supported by him.
Did he pay maintenance for his first child?
I wouldn't put much store on him wanting contact with his dc with you, unless his partner pushes him for contact like you did.

It speaks volumes that he lied to you from the beginning by not telling you about his previous family.