Hi Mumsnet
I posted here last year under a different username that I can no longer remember (I change quite often!) and was given fantastic advice so wanted to return and sound off.. not looking for advice as such (not much I can do) but want somewhere I can moan freely!
So, anyways, to cut a long story short(ish) my DH had an affair last year. I was heartbroken and all the rest.. we weren't living together at the time as he had moved due to his work contract and it was when I finally moved to be with him I found it out. Suspicious texts on phone, that sort of thing.
We decided to work through it, and he has been great since. Much more open, changed his phone number, more attentive etc etc. I know some may say to LTB anyway but that's not where I'm at right now, and I'm happy with this ... so far....
(Drum roll please!)
DH is, shall we say, a "public figure" and as such has an instagram account that I run for him. I enjoy doing this and I'm much better at it than he would be 
replying to "fans" on his behalf, making him sign things and sending them off etc etc. At this point I should be clear and say although he's a public figure, it's very niche and not anyone to get excited about honest! - but it does lead to a lot of female attention that I kind of just bat away -- most of the time!
Anyway, OW popped up in his inbox on instagram today. 
it brought it all back, I feel sick and anxious again. From the message it's clear she can't get in contact with him any other way - "hi, I miss you, I hope you're ok. Please call me xxxx"
So now queue the FUMING. Ugh.
She knows about me. His last couple of instagram pics are of me/him, our family.
I've managed so far to save all my anger for him, he's the one that made vows to me and broke them, she didn't. So I haven't been the crazy wife calling her/going to her work/her house/etc.
It wasn't her I blamed, but now I'm so mad at her (irrational???)
When it all blew up last year, she kept on requesting to follow me on social media, then when I declined she got her sister and friends to try. I ignored it all. Trying to be the bigger woman here and focus my anger on DH and try to work on our marriage. I ended up coming off private because the constant requests were making me anxious and at the end of the day, I had done nothing wrong. I had nothing to be embarrassed about. I kept telling myself this. My photos are quite scarce anyway, and nothing that would identify the DC or our location.
So, what do I do? Do I just ignore the message? Block her? Send her an evil reply? Ugh.
Thank you if you got this far.., possibly the longest post I've ever written!!