What the fuck do I do now?

[SnackSnackEatAndCrave]

DP threw a meltdown last night. A tiny row after a few glasses of wine escalated into him pushing me, and smashing glasses all over the kitchen. Our 1 year old DD was asleep upstairs at the time. He's never done this before but I know the advice I would give to anyone is to get out.
The question is how?! My family are 5 hours away. I don't have a car, and am a SAHM so completely dependent on him financialy. This was fine when we were in a happy relationship but obviously now is a huge issue.
We have a joint mortgage, and aside from being a massive dickhead last night is a great dad so I don't feel like it's okay to take his daughter far away.
So how do I get out? I'm pretty much maxed out on my overdraft, so don't even have a back up plan for a rent deposit, travel, things for DD. I feel so stupid.

Sorry I disappeared before... Been a big week with applying for all the jobs under the sun and getting DD a nursery place! I'm at my parents for a few days so they can spend time with DD and I can get my head together.
Shatner when I say we argue I mean we bicker about things when we disagree, and I hate my MIL which obviously bothers him and we have had a few raised voices when discussing her. But we don't fight there's never been any sustained shouting, and never any violent behaviour before last weekend, and we've been together for 7 years, living together for 6. I don't know how you can live in harmony with anyone without disagreements on some things in that amount of time?

I really feel for your situation. I'm going through something similar so probably not the best to offer advice...see my post 'marriage in crisis'...all I will say is that when my DH did something similar he was suffering a breakdown and it was completely out of character so each individuals situation is not always as clear cut as others perceive. Noone should ever put their hands on another person man or woman, it is never acceptable but I just think sometimes there is a far bigger picture. I really hope you can work it out whatever you decide to do. Yours & your DD's happiness / safety is the most important. Take care.

Your DH behaved appallingly. However, if you love him and he has otherwise been a good husband / father and person it seems to me quite extreme to end the relationship and marriage.

If this was my DH, I would expect him to get help, he needs to have counselling g and also both do marriage counselling but I would personally try to support him.

If my husband punched me it would be a different conversation but if he pushed me I would see that as very concerning but a bit different.

Just my thoughts, I personally would not break up my marriage and it's a big deal to decide if my child would not live with his father anymore.

I am not condoning the behaviour but I want to give a different angle and my opinion only.

Well, firstly, someone who needs your support doesn't attack you, or scare you by breaking things all around you. Or if they do, they recognise that they now need to seek support elsewhere.

I notice it was five days after he said he'd give you space that he talked at you for hours. Do you feel he gave you space?

I would be wary. Certainly there's no reason to rush any decision. What he did caused a huge breakdown in trust, and he can't expect you to shrug and say all's forgiven because he's seeking help.

Maybe wait and see if you think the help's actually helping?

I would be very interested to know what he told his dad and whether or not he has overtly or subtly inferred that you are in any way responsible. But I wouldn't expect to get the truth from your partner. I think you've handled things really well. Just one thing - you owe him nothing.

Thanks everyone. Sparkle I'll have a read of your post now.
I feel like he's telling the truth and he wants to sort himself out, and I don't think he's doing just it for the sake of our relationship. He's going to counselling asap and seems to be taking his mental and physical health much more seriously. He said maybe we should try couple's counselling if we do make a go of things because there will obviously be trust issues now.
Charlotte he came back on Sunday to get some work things for a presentation this week and popped his head into the bedroom and asked if we could talk. I said yes because my head is all over the place and I wanted to make sense of things... We both talked for hours and he left afterwards to stay in a hotel. He's back at the house now as he's working down the road and I'm with DD at my parents', but he said if I'm not okay with him being there on Friday when we come home, he'll make other arrangements. We Skype daily for DD but he doesn't go off topic just asks how we are makes a fuss of her and hangs up (not exactly great conversation from a 13 m/o!) I do feel like he's respecting my space.
I honestly feel like he's doing all the right things, but then I wonder if that's for my benefit or just to get what he wants quickly?!
Kitty his dad has come across very impartial, and has phoned a couple of times to make sure DD and I are okay. He's still cross with DP but also worried and has offered to pay for private therapy if the waiting list is too long.
His mum, though, is a nightmare. She phoned me the day after wanting to know what I'd said that could possibly make him behave this way. She said DP is trying to "protect" me by not giving her the full details of the argument and essentially she wanted me to "own up". I told her to mind her own business obviously but I'm not sure I fancy the idea of him being there and having her excuse his behaviour all the time and fuss over him like her little blameless Prince.
Getting rid of her is definitely on the pros list when it comes to thinking about this break up.