Dating an Autistic man

[Maille]

NC because it is early days and I don't want this to link to my recognisable name.

I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience. I recently began seeing someone who has shared with me that they have Autism. He is a wonderful, creative, talented and amazing person, and comes with various quirks which I find incredibly charming.

The only thing is, I have no knowledge of Autism. It hasn't changed the way I feel about him whatsoever, but I feel like I should know more about it and how it might affect him and what it means in terms of a potential relationship.

Thank you Pickle, your comment certainly chimes with me, I am a 'projects' person.
I like your username by the way.

meadow the timekeeping I get that totally, if it's at a certain time then that what has to happen otherwise I get really stressed. I don't do spontaneous stuff. I even used to get to work early as I had to park in the same space every day. I have obsessive behaviour mainly over studying certain subjects. I can sit and read all day and disappear in to my own world, difficult when your supposed to be cooking dinner and I literally don't hear people. I speed read, this became apparent at work when attending in house IT training courses. I would read the hand out and use the new software be done and dusted in an hour then sit surfing the internet while I waited for the next three house to be over wondering why it was taking everyone so long. I can remember pointing out mistakes made by the trainer, they didn't like that but it was just the truth.

I answer questions truthfully, it annoys people but if you ask me if I like your shoes and I don't why should I lie. This did happen to me at work one time. I now realise people tell small lies like this to avoid conflict but I hate doing it which is why I need time away from people.

I remember what feels like everything. In arguments my DH finds it irritating as hell that I can rememeber his words or an incident in fine detail that was ten years ago. He calls it my iPod memory, I just bring up the exact tune required, it's not difficult.

I'm not diagnosed I worked in higher education, it wasn't a thing when I was young especially for girls. I always knew I was different though. My 4 sisters are so different to me, the normals as I call them. They do love me but find me exasperating at times. I look back at things they tried to advise me on, especially men. I literally take words for what they are, I can't read sub text which means I have been taken advantage of. I am academically very clever, when taking my UG degree I would just write my reports and essays off the bat whilst my classmates would sit studying for hours, I literally didn't understand this as a very young person. I'm still socially naive, but at least I know it now.

It's true about the intense focus I have scared off a few friends over the years with my intensity. I actually write down when I have contacted people to remind myself when it's ok to be in touch with them again.

I really wish it had been more out there and known when I was young. It's been a hard life people always label me as odd, weird, tiring but loveable.

I have a lot of family with autistic traits but only one diagnosed.

I think there are NT people who can be tricky and focused on their own stuff. And also the spectrum of autistic spectrum condition people is very wide. There are some who pass for NT in that they have taught themselves so well to socialise deal with change and think of others perspectives.

I find the Tony Attwood videos that he has done very useful as he summarises things well on them and they are very accessible.

I would say though that I have known some of my family members to be tricky to live with. And some of their partners have I think felt that some of their needs haven't been met long term.

But they knew nothing about autism upfront . And the family members didnt know. And your position sounds good in that he is self aware and upfront. Wishing you the all the best ! :)