stay with man who I think may be abusive or be lonely?

[muddywater]

I feel so uncertain. I feel like my marriage is a sham. But I'm so scared of leaving and never meeting anyone else and that fear is clouding any other thoughts as it's so huge. Has anyone ever felt the same?

I feel like I'm used to him so it doesn't bother me.

But it does bother you or you wouldn't be posting here.

You deserve to be happy. It is NOT your fault. You have been the victim of a manipulative man. It happens to the best of us.

Muddy your not alone

Being clever doesn't make someone better then others.

Muddy your not alone

Being clever doesn't make someone better then others.

It is not your fault and you can call time on any relationship any bloody time you see fit, your best friend is yourself and you should only trust and believe in you; don't allow any other person to dictate your life, your feelings, your wants, goals etc; it's what gives us hope and I don't see any hope for your relationship with an abuser; even now you recognise it's abuse so it must be pretty bad as I'm sure you've become so used to his ways you've normalised it to an extent.

Only get one life; I'd much rather my own company than that of a person that holds me in contempt.

Sunshineon, so to feel superior he has to achieve that by making somebody else feel inferior?!

And really all he's got is his body. That's what I see . You brought LIFE in to the World with your body and he models clothes. I bet you anything that that true wonder subconsciously makes the all he's got feel worthless and he needs to make you feel small.

My x also used to use things I'd confided in him against me later. You couldn't share a vulnerability with him because he'd use it against you later. To weaken me. To strengthen himself. cos he had no strength of his own. I was the well he had to deplete.

ps2, my x also believed he was more clever than I was. But he didn't understand that there are different types of intelligence, and he didn't have the self-awareness to live and learn, so he stayed stuck in the same place. He's still there with his low self-esteem and his huge ego, still making others feel shit with his drama baits in order to temporarily inflate the ego he needs (because his self esteem is in the gutter). I see all of this, and he thinks he's the brainy one because he has a better job.

Clever isn't an excuse to be a twat.

I'm pretty damn intelligent (apparently, according to the ed psychologist- I dun tests and everyfink)

I volunteer in the community working with people to help them boost their self esteem and see their own potential. I don't use my skills and talents to make people feel like shit. And being cleverer than average certainly doesn't mean I'm automatic better than anyone supposedly 'less' clever than me. As a pp said there are all kinds of intelligence.

Hope things get better for you OP

I feel for you.

I was n a relationship with a very difficult, emotionally abusive man. He made me believe I was useless and stupid. I'm not - I have a PhD from a RG uni but in a humanities subject that he didn't rate. He believes only scientists are really intelligent. He thought I would never manage without him. I was desperately unhappy but leaving seemed like such a massive step. I didn't want to be a single mum. I didn't want divorce to be the reality for my children. But then I realised that bringing them up in a strained, unhappy household was a much worse prospect. Having a mum that they saw constantly belittled and undermined and thinking this the norm was worse. Still, leaving took me a long time. I think it was nearly a year between deciding my marriage was over and physically leaving.

Muddy apologies again for hijacking your feed! yes my husband has got a 3rd class degree in sports science that he just about scraped and just because I haven't got a degree I'm inferior. I've worked my way up in finance starting from the very bottom and am in a well paid job. But of course because I haven't got a degree I'm trash. Im sure you aren't intellectually inferior. He has just made you feel that way. Platinum I know that you are right, he just uses everything that cuts me to the core against me and although I try not to let him see he is hurting me I fall for the trap every time and he has this evil grin like yes I've made you feel vile and I'm so happy about it. He knows that I am sensitive about our daughters sleep and that she doesn't get woken up in the evening so he stamps his feet and slams doors and is purposefully as loud as possible and switches lights on un necessarily in our room which disturbs her. and although he is affecting her and not me by doing this he forgets that and because I tell him not to he thinks great another way to push her buttons stamp stamp!!! And already at 3 months our daughter is being caught in the crossfire!

Walk away. No brainer!

Plenty more fish in the sea!