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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband commenting about my post baby body

61 replies

Alwayswaiting · 09/04/2017 18:36

DH this afternoon has commented on my stomach asking if it's going to flatten back down again or is there a problem with my stomach muscles after having my latest child.

Latest DC is DC3, born 12 weeks ago. I have two other active boys 5 and 2, so I am running around after them a lot. I'm currently 3lbs heavier than when I got pregnant with DC3. But yes my stomach is loose obviously, but I don't think it's damaged?!

This is not the first time, he's made comments after each baby even though I've gone back to a similar weight he comments on my stomach being loose and I should exercise more. I feel like I do a lot of exercise with the kids already long walks everyday, running etc.

I felt humiliated after the comments today, he laughed a few weeks ago when I was on the scales weighing myself and he was standing behind me - why he was laughing I don't know, but I called him out on it and told him he had no right to comment on my weight at all, it's none of his business.

I feel disheartened as I try to be as supportive to him as I can, he's leaving his job after a difficult year and I'm helping him job hunt reading his applications when he asks etc yet he makes me feel so shit about how I look right now.

I eat healthily and I don't see a problem with how I look.... but he does. I'm so fed up.

OP posts:
Ncforthispost2005 · 09/04/2017 22:16

It's not you being oversensitive it's your DH being a dickhead!

hungrywalrus · 09/04/2017 22:56

Your body made your three gorgeous children. You say he isn't super toned. So what's his excuse?

HeyRoly · 09/04/2017 22:58

My entire abdomen is disfigured from two pregnancies. Enormous stretch marks and permanently protruding because the muscles separated and haven't gone back. If my husband commented negatively I would be heartbroken, because it isn't my fault. For him to say it's all your fault for being over sensitive is a major dick move.

flossisboss · 09/04/2017 23:28

My mind boggles at these fucking men who say these things. My EX-H expressed concern about what my body would look like if we had a baby. I left him before there was any chance to find out!

I just don't understand it. Are they missing something? Are they stupid? Do they not understand simple, obvious physical processes? Does the fact a woman has grown and borne their beautiful baby not outweigh the physical changes that come with that? Confused

thequeenoftarts · 10/04/2017 00:18

It's definitely him, the prick, not you!! Get rid of 12 stone fast by ditching his sorry arse, post baby weight of 3lbs lol... Darling he doesn't know how lucky he is to have a lovely partner and 3 wonderful kids, and all the massive cunt can focus on is a teeny weeny bit of post baby weight. God god he has nowt to worry about, ask him when he is going to enlarge his tiny cock and see how that goes....

Adora10 · 10/04/2017 13:06

He is a horrible cunt and I'd doubt this is the only time he puts you down; my advice: bin him, seriously, such a horrible thing to say, to anyone, never mind your wife after 3 kids; unforgiveable.

PoorYorick · 10/04/2017 13:57

Don't these men understand what pregnancy is? That it's not just a layer of fat and a person inside you? Do they not realise that everything in your body softens and widens to make room, that your water retention levels go so haywire that your eyeballs change shape, that you are not made of elastic and that if something is stretched for nine months it probably isn't going to pop right back to exactly how it was before? Do they not realise that even your internal organs won't be in exactly the same places as they all had to jumble round to make room and won't necessarily fall back into the exact same spot?

Having seen you go through pregnancy and labour, or the major surgery of a section, and all the sleep deprivation that follows, in order to bear their children, how can they be so utterly fucking UNGRATEFUL? I bet he whinges and whines if he does so much as give you a lift to the station without endless effusive thanks.

Suggest you offer to stretch your husband's microscopic penis for nine months and see if it pops exactly back to how it was before. You could probably find it with the Hubble telescope.

elephantcuddles · 10/04/2017 14:49

You've had three of his children and he has no right to comment on your body at all unless it's to tell you how beautiful he thinks you are. He sounds like an insensitive stupid ass.

There's a website called theshapeofamother.com all about this topic. Women post pics of their post baby bodies.

forwardgoing · 10/04/2017 16:02

Look down his trousers and ask when that thing is going to grow to full size.

If he wants a Barbie doll he can get one on Amazon. He's lucky to have you and it's time for a bit of you-worship I think. Send him round to mine, OP, I'll soon set him straight.

ineedwine99 · 10/04/2017 16:05

I'd have slapped him and kicked him out to spend a few nights sleeping in the shed/car/garden! insensitive prat.
Hope your ok OP Flowers

Minime85 · 10/04/2017 16:12

He sounds really awful to say that you. I have a 'loose stomach' too and had my last baby 9 years ago so god knows what he would say about me! You need to be happy in your own skin and not let him get to you. He sounds spiteful in his behaviour. Hope you are ok x

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