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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cheating ??

61 replies

Lindseylou75 · 07/04/2017 11:38

My partner went back to another womans house and stayed there all night drinking. He says he fell asleep on couch. Hes kknown this woman for years and shes supposed to be seeing his friend... he came home nxt day and told me straight away were he had been and swears nothing happened.. i just dont know what to believe ??

OP posts:
Renaissance2017 · 07/04/2017 13:16

So he sent texts to another woman whilst you weren't together? You've no evidence he's cheated and the main problem is your mates don't like him?

Just be honest and say you don't want to be in a relationship with him instead of digging about for reasons to split.

Lindseylou75 · 07/04/2017 13:23

No we were still together just living apart for a while, and im not digging about for any reasons,

OP posts:
Wilma55 · 07/04/2017 13:30

This happened to me. OH went back to ow for nightcap and fe

Wilma55 · 07/04/2017 13:31

fell asleep....Didn't come home till after work the next day and told me what had happenned

Wilma55 · 07/04/2017 13:33

fell asleep. He didn't come home till after work the next day when he told me his version of what happened. He was often out and had a drink problem. I said I didn't believe nothing happened and he left. Suppose had had doubts for a while.

PaperdollCartoon · 07/04/2017 13:33

If my DP did this I wouldn't be bothered and I'd believe the story, because I trust him. If he hadn't told me where he was I'd be annoyed because I'd have been worrying, but I have no problem with him spending the night on another woman's sofa.
Are there other reasons you don't trust him?

Lindseylou75 · 07/04/2017 13:40

Hi didnt tell me were he was until he came home the nxt day. Very hungover and tired he went to bed and i didnt see him till morning. Apart from the txting i did trust him

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 07/04/2017 13:49

Your friends not liking him is a huge red flag OP.
What don't they like about him?

Lindseylou75 · 07/04/2017 14:07

His attitude the way he treats me quite a long list really

OP posts:
BonnyScotland · 07/04/2017 14:21

Maybe it's nothing more than what he says Lady .... lots of the women on here are saying they'd believe their husbands .. if they did this... so maybe just go with it being the truth ....

and see what happens x

Lindseylou75 · 07/04/2017 14:22

Yeah thats the plan ill take his word and see how it goes.. thanks all x

OP posts:
Adora10 · 07/04/2017 14:27

So this is just another example of his attitude.

Up to you, I'd not accept it especially when you have a list of other complaints; I'd use this time to get it all out in the air and tell him what is making you unhappy and what you can both do o make things better.

I think he's been at the very least disrespectful; to both you and his friend whose girlfriend it is.

Lindseylou75 · 07/04/2017 14:35

I totally agree i have tried to talk 2 him about things but not got very far, deep down i do think theres more 2 it its not like there good friends just someone he speaks 2.. i do want to believe him but i just have a gut feeling hes lieing. Why accept an invite to a womans house 5 mins from ur own home knowing its going to cause a problem. Looks like drink was more important to him if i had done that he would have hit the roof...

OP posts:
BonnyScotland · 07/04/2017 14:38

Wait and see how his 'mate' feels about this sleepover .... x

hellsbellsmelons · 07/04/2017 14:40

So he's got a bad attitude.
He treats you badly.
Probably cheats on you!
And you are going to take his word and see how it goes
Why? Just why?
Get away from this twat - he will drag you down.
How often do you go out with your friends?

Lindseylou75 · 07/04/2017 14:41

Yeah i dont think he knows yet, he certainly hasnt mentioned hes been in touch.. i feel quite stupid in a way as if there has been more 2 it i walk past the womans house every day, as does he talk about on your doorstep

OP posts:
kaitlinktm · 07/04/2017 14:41

if i had done that he would have hit the roof

There's your answer. I always ask the question - would it be OK if both partners did it? If the answer is yes - all well and good - if it's no (as in your case) then it's an unequal relationship.

Lindseylou75 · 07/04/2017 14:43

I dont i had girls night out in jan and he turned up... previous to that once in 6 years ive had night out with friends.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 07/04/2017 14:48

OMG!!!
Run away - far and fast.
This guy is not OK!
Turning up on your 1 night out in years.
Fuck that.
He's a controlling twat.
I would suggest you contact Womens Aid because I reckon this is just the tip of the iceberg!!!

THE HILLS ARE THAT WAY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

AnyFucker · 07/04/2017 14:48

Well, he's horrible anyway

Why bother ?

Lindseylou75 · 07/04/2017 14:55

He goes out all time.. i sometimes go but not that often, he causes arguments and fucks off out

OP posts:
kaitlinktm · 07/04/2017 14:58

Do you have children? Do you have a job?

Lindseylou75 · 07/04/2017 15:00

I work yes, got children but not together both from previous relationships

OP posts:
Adora10 · 07/04/2017 15:26

OP, going by his history you know he has no respect; he goes out all the time yet you are stuck at home; he's now been out all night at some women's house near you; could he take the piss any more do you think?

PollytheDolly · 07/04/2017 15:31

He told you too quickly where he'd been.