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Original poster

Had a bad first kiss

68 replies

debbs77 · 06/04/2017 16:51

Seriously, it was awful. Not had a bad kiss since I was 17! Was like a washing machine crossed with a fish!

OP posts:
Starduke · 07/04/2017 10:36

Dh isn't a good kisser (feel strangely disloyal saying that) however sex is the best I've ever had.

Better than my ex who was a fantastic kisser but the rest was a huge disappointment.

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout · 07/04/2017 10:39

This thread isn't making me laugh and cringe at the same time.

In my early 20s, I really fancied this man in his early 30s. He was mature, successful, good looking, sophisticated- everything I wasn't.

My friend set us up and I was pretty excited when he eventually leaned in for a kiss, but the first thing I felt was his tongue pushing open my mouth and swirling round and round for ages. I felt like I was just standing there with my mouth open. And what really annoyed me is he seemed to think I wasn't a good kisser as I didn't know how to respond.

What's worse, he got an erection and was pressing it against me whilst swirling. Horrific at the time, but makes me laugh now.

As an 'older woman' now, I can't believe that a man in his 30s, supposedly worldly and mature, thought this was ok!

Original poster
debbs77 · 07/04/2017 10:46

I agree that a kiss is very important! Everyone else I've kissed as an adult has been great at it, and my last two partners were great at everything.

One guy in my past had huge hairy balls and he used to say pushy in a really feminine voice.

Another used to orgasm and go "oooooooofffffff".......I actually laughed once!

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 07/04/2017 11:08

It's lack of sensitivity to the response they are getting, isn't it? No gentle exploration to see what the response is and then build on it, just diving in with what they think they should do or what feels good for them. Nothing about your experience at all.

TheFlyingFauxPas · 07/04/2017 11:16

You're just reminded me of my best kisses ever. Two same day. Same chap. Once in the shower as I washed his hair, which was also an extremely sensual experience. The next, we paused as we walked to the pub, and I swear, the earth stood still for a second 🎆.

Later he buggered off and despite him swearing he was clean I found his needles in his coat he'd left at mine.

He's dead now. But I remember the kisses.

That's what a good kiss can do!

picklemepopcorn · 07/04/2017 11:21

That's tragic. What a waste.

Shitalopram · 07/04/2017 11:30

Ah what a sad story, Flying.

Yes that's exactly right - if someone is "doing a kiss to you" and you have no space to bring yourself to it then they're missing the whole point of a kiss.

I have had a couple of memorable kisses too. One was with a right bastard who turned out to be very bad news for me, but there was strong chemistry.

The other one was quite recent. Second date, pausing for a sit-down during a long walk, we turned to each other and WHOOMPH. The kiss was like a conversation of longing. When I opened my eyes I was amazed to see the sky and horizon still in their rightful places. We looked at each other with raised eyebrows, I said "bloody hell!" and he nodded and laughed. Then we had a more tender one that was almost as good.

Didn't think I'd be feeling that again in my life. I see him most weekends now Smile

sucue · 07/04/2017 11:33

Some men are just too enthusiastic, impossible to cure enthusiasm in my experience.

NotYoda · 07/04/2017 11:40

My first kiss was like that. I put me off kissing for a really long time. As pp have said, it's that fact that it's so full on, so fast and it feels like it's being done to you, not with you.

I don't think it's curable

NotYoda · 07/04/2017 11:41

OTOH the best kisser I've encountered was not good at sex.

Booboo27 · 07/04/2017 11:44

Ugh! This would really put me off too. I dated a guy once who would just jab his whole tongue in my mouth and keep doing that over and over again without moving his lips. His tongue was always really cold and slimy too and he always had whiffy breath. Apart from that he ticked loads of boxes but I just found it really gross. Would find myself turning my face away from him during sex to avoid kissing. I even asked him to use his lips more and slow down a bit but he just wouldn't listen. And whenever I'd offer him chewing gum he'd say no. Sexual chemistry isn't the be all and end all of a relationship but it's definitelty important IMO

SqueakyBite · 07/04/2017 11:51

The kiss was like a conversation of longing

^What LoPram says.

Very poetic.

A good kiss can be beautiful and exhilerating yet somehow ... there's a sad sort of longing in it too...

HarmlessChap · 07/04/2017 12:07

Its about preference isn't it. I kissed a lot of women before I got married and encountered quite a few different "styles" some were significantly less enjoyable than others, but I dare say others might have enjoyed them. I have no doubt that the way I kiss wasn't to all of theirs taste either.

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 07/04/2017 12:16

This thread is making me laugh and cringe all at once!

I'm another who once had a bloke who would shove his whole tongue in my mouth. Tonsil-licker I called him (not to his face!) I'm sure there are people out there that like that kind of thing, but ew. It's not for me!

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 07/04/2017 12:22

Tiny burps man was not dumped fast enough.

Although neither was the man who, when I said I liked the spray he was wearing, used to carry a can of it in his pocket and spray it sneakily behind me so I would constantly smell him around me.

I seem to have had quite low standards.

Original poster
debbs77 · 07/04/2017 12:50

That last post made me laugh!

Some people are so strange!

OP posts:
noego · 07/04/2017 13:07

If they cannot kiss our mouth imagine what they will do to your clt**s

SqueakyBite · 07/04/2017 13:16

^I'm reporting that post noego, there's no need to use such horrible language. btw, a woman would never describe herself in that way.

Booboo27 · 07/04/2017 13:45

She didn't write what you think she wrote. She was referring to the clitoris! Hardly a bad word

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 07/04/2017 13:55

Noego, we can say clitoris!

pickledparsnip · 07/04/2017 14:00

Enjoying this thread! God I've had some bad kisses....

pickledparsnip · 07/04/2017 14:03

Noego chill out, she was saying clitoris. Even if she had said cunt, what the hell is wrong with that? "A woman should never describe herself in that way." Uhm why not?

noego · 07/04/2017 15:31

I think you got the name wrong pickled.

I think you are mixing me up with someone else.

NotYoda · 07/04/2017 15:47

noego

Yes, pickled meant Squeaky

I also have no problem with clitorises (clitori?)

pickledparsnip · 07/04/2017 16:10

Sorry Noego Flowers
I did mean Squeaky

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