Long one ...Where to start? Our marriage has been a bit rocky right from the beginning but we love each other (I think) and have the two most amazing kids. 2016 was a horrible year for everyone, but I feel like I must have been Hitler in a former life because it was particularly bloody awful for us. First off, in January, DH gets the sack for telling an annoying colleague to fck off (it had been brewing for a while) and he sank into a depression. We argued, shouted, and were generally very unhappy. It got to the point where we just didn't speak to each other and he liked to call me horrible names that he he knew would upset me (on a positive note, I have now taken ownership of cnt so it doesn't bother me so much any more). Roll on to summer, I ask him if he wants to salvage the marriage and if so, we need to go to Relate. He agreed! So in August, we started, things went reasonably ok (or so I thought) and we started getting on better by October. We had a month or so af relative calm then he was diagnosed with a brain tumour at the beginning of December. I thought he'd had a stroke so dragged him to the GP, who referred him to neurologist, who scanned him and found a tennis ball sized lump in his head! We get through Xmas and new year waiting for op date, and finally got one for mid Jan. It was a massive op, bloody awkward position. Histology came back as it being an aggressive cancer, which we weren't expecting, a big shock. The whole episode to this point was unbelievably stressful. He was weirdly oblivious to what was going on. Four days post op, I cracked; he had a go at me for forgetting something. I ran away, I told him I'd had enough. I have a long history of depression and anxiety, and really don't deal well with stress and I just snapped. I wasn't thinking straight and just left. I didn't see him for ten days dying which time, he'd been discharged and was staying with a friend. We slowly started communicating and he came home, but he has told me that he wants to live somewhere else, but we stay married. He is undergoing radiotherapy and I am taking him to the hospital every day, dealing with his meds, and generally nursing him. He has found a flat and is moving out in May. Now, yesterday, he got cross with me because I got irritated at him. But he wouldn't stop badgering me, taking the piss, making sarcastic comments, but I didn't respond, just cried. Because I have tried my best to make up for leaving him, I have really tried to make our marriage work. And he is so angry at me. He called me a c*nt twice, loudly in public and said how dare I leave him. Then he threw his wallet at me. I don't know if I want to stay married to him. He was horrible before all this but it seems to have made him worse. Oh god, what I'm asking is, how long would you stay with someone who abused you in public, when you know that they're I'll. Thanks!