Is he being racist towards me?

[fedup17]

My husband is black and I'm white. We have 5 children. He's always going on about how much the white race have done the most evil on the planet and reads pretty much loads of stuff that discredits the white race. I often feel uncomfortable. He then starts saying that the white race. are actually created from the black race and we are the 'weaker version' of them and that's why the white race hate the black race so much. He goes on his general rants and then says he loves me and all that when he sees I'm upset by his comments. The one thing that gets to me though is every time we argue and i say or do something he doesn't like he will say things like 'it's your white genes showing through'. He's allowed to call me what he wants and that's fine but if I say anything back its always 'its your white genes, that's how white people behave'

He makes me feel ashamed for being white and makes me feel like a less of a person and when he goes on about all these evil things the white race have done in the past to the black race I always end up feeling like I'm not entitled to be in This planet like I don't deserve to be. Is he actually being racist to me even though I'm white?

Why on Earth are you with him? I mean apart from the fact thar you have five children. Dear God, he sounds horrendous.

Ah, I see what you mean Waffle - yes, you're right. People with white skin tend to be far closer in genotype, I believe, as we mostly descend from the same population of migrants. I always find that bizarre when I consider it

OP we could make some quips about how you can challenge your husband to explain which 'types' of black people are actually the best based on this evidence (insisting on genetic diagrams), but it wouldn't be appropriate as you do sound very low.

What do you get out of living with this kind of constant criticism? He sounds like a nasty thoughtless twat at best.

Your husband is coming across as very ignorant I'm afraid to say.

I'm black and I think his comments make him sound uneducated quite frankly.

You need to put a stop to it, otherwise your DC will start spouting off the same nonsense and the cycle never ends.

If it was me, I'd tell him in no uncertain terms that I do not want to hear his racist comments again and ask why he married me if he felt so much hatred toward white people.

One more stupid racist comment and I'd be done with the marriage.

Sounds a bit nation of Islam (I assembled like most religions there is a more crackers contingent).

And you had 5 kids with this idiot because... The question isn't 'Is he racist?', it should be 'why am with someone who makes me feel this way'?

This is who he is, stop waiting for him to be someone else.

It does point to a certain ugliness inside. He must be spouting this to other people who agree with him.

I can only assume he either kept this to himself or this is a new belief system. Those poor kids, having to listen to this about their mum. And how well adjusted can a child be if they are hearing constant racism?

I am white,my ExH is black. I have experienced and felt things you describe here OP( to a lesser extent though) with my Ex , to some extent agree with what your ex is saying.
Definitely agree with how much the white race have done the most evil on the planet Not sure how can anyone even want to deny it?
He then starts saying that the white race. are actually created from the black race seems to be a common knowledge now news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/07/070718-african-origin.html

but if I say anything back its always 'its your white genes, that's how white people behave' That's how I felt(never voiced in negative way) in relationship to my EX but in reverse :black genes, how black people behave. Think there is definitely difference in white and black mentality and someone in this thread correctly mentioned Two black parents are more likely to stay together then a mixed race relationship.
To me your H doesn't sound black supremacist ,just a basic twat that doesn't know how to communicate respectively ,also do think he did experienced quite a bit of racism so has a bit of a chip on the shoulder.But it is not your issue,he needs to learn to deal with his experiences .Instead of one unhappy person you have now two unhappy ones.

@SandyY2K totally agree with your comment and I would add abusive to the mix.
If you let it continue, your children will have issues. I don't know how to advice you on how to deal with your children. You will have to find a way. Remind him his children have got white blood running through their veins.

Is it a new thing or has he always been like this?

You cannot put up with this! He is a verbally abusive asshole. What you have done is given him five beautiful kids & if you were any of the things he said you were, you wouldn't have gone near him in the first place. His anger is misplaced, op. It is not right that he's taking it out on you...grhhh, years ago, I had a white boyfriend who used to racially abuse me too..it's terrible behaviour from anyone. Really hope you LTB!

whatisgoingon1
Definitely agree with how much the white race have done the most evil on the planet Not sure how can anyone even want to deny it?

I'm not sure how you could quantify such a statement.

Sorry, but LaContessaDiPlump, you are wrong
By far, the smallest degree of genetic variance is actually found between what we think of as races, and most certainly not within them: your genotype is not more likely to be more similar to someone who descended 'from the same population of migrants', except for a tiny group of alleles that constitute a fractional percentage of your genotype: the rest of the vast swathes in genotypic difference are as below:

In 1972, Richard Lewontin performed a FST statistical analysis using 17 markers (including blood-group proteins). He found that the majority of genetic differences between humans (85.4 percent) were found within a population, 8.3 percent were found between populations within a race and 6.3 percent were found to differentiate 'races' (Caucasian, African, Mongoloid, South Asian Aborigines, Amerinds, Oceanians, and Australian Aborigines in his study). Since then, other analyses have found FST values of 6–10 percent between continental human groups, 5–15 percent between different populations on the same continent and 75–85 percent within populations

I think he is being racist, and abusive.

He loves his kids and would never want to hurt them even though he's horrible toward me. He says he doesn't consider his kids white as they come from him and he's black

Fucks sake, that says it all! You're irrelevant in his mind then?

He is racist yes, but first and foremost he's an arsehole. You deserve better than that, as do your children. Please don't let this continue through them so that they end up in marriages doing the same thing and continuing this toxic, abusive train of thought in society.

I couldn't live with this. I'd have thrown him out long ago.

Why have children with someone so abusive? I know that's a naive question and I have not been in a situation like this so have no idea what is going on, but from outside it looks like he is an absolutely abusive, ignorant, chip on the shoulder gobshite, who shouldn't be around kids of any colour.

Such venom and hate. I am quite surprised he isn't violent as well. Sounds like a lot of anger. I wonder what his family is like. Do they agree and think the wife is the devil incarnate? Do they bitch about her or make shitty racist comments to her face? Do they tell the kids that mums culture (and where they live) is shit and only they are 'good'?

What a bloody mess.

He is not being racist.

He is being abusive to put you down and keep you in your place.

Leave him.

It is racist and it is abusive.

People can be both of these at the same time.

He is ignorant, racist and abusive.
He is damaging your children through his views and his abuse of you. (As a mixed-race person, I read your post in horror).

You deserve better and so do your children

He sounds very racist and also uneducated tbh.
My Dh is non white and there is no way I would put up with this.
His views are extremely damaging and especially to mixed race children. He could give them serious identity issues. They should be brought up to be proud of both sides of their cultural background, not have to listen to this shit from their father.
I am not one to normally say ltb but his views are abhorrent.

Divorce him. He's abusive.

One could debate whether views that are not supported by society in general can be called "racist", but whether or not he's racist isn't really the question here.

Fact is, you are miserable. Get out of this.

Of course he is racist. Don't even try to sugar coat it. Racist racist racist.

I can't be doing with the whole 'it can't be racist because...'

He sounds deeply unpleasant and unhinged. It also sounds like he doesn't actually like the Op very much.

Words mean things, mavis.

Every racist is an asshole, but not everyone who is an asshole is automatically a racist.

This man says he abuses his wife because she's white, but racist people do not marry people they are racist against. (Men rape women they are racist against, but don't usually marry them)

Men do, however, quite frequently, marry women they are sexist against.

He is not just abusive to his wife though is he? He has racist views which he spouts, but to be honest, that is a side issue to the deeply disturbing treatment of his wife and children.

Racism isn't the issue here, it's abusive behavior which no one should have to live with.

He's only had these views in the last 2 years. He didn't have these views when we met, well he never voiced them if he did. He has always been controlling though and quite criticising towards me which has been like that since we had children and moved in together.

So what's happened? Has he got new friends or interests?