Feeling unpretty

[Whiterabbitears]

Tonight my DH said something to me that's still unsettling me. His first language is not English and there is a satirical face book site in his language that I read from and he translates, its usually funny and we have a laugh. Tonight he read a translation saying something along the lines of shes so pretty she makes my heart stop

I jokingly said to him, why don't you ever say anything like that to me? He simply replied but youre not pretty I didn't say anything, it was very awkward and I would usually shout or react but I just didn't know what to say. I carried on flicking through my tablet refusing to cry even though I wanted to. He went to bed shortly after. Is he an arse or am I being ridiculous to be so upset? Disclaimer, I'm not pretty at all but after two DDs and 22 years together I though that maybe it didn't matter?

Can you not just say to him "I'm so upset that you said I'm not pretty. It's really damaged my self-esteem"? His reaction will tell you a lot.

I'm feeling a bit calmer about it so I need to find a quiet moment to ask him why he chose to say that. We are not good at communication and one of us always seems to end up raising our voices, which is not good but we have developed this horrible habit. And if he doesn't understand why that's upsetting it will tell me how much my matter to him.

Hope you can stay calm. He could reassure you so easily. I think you sound lovely. He's a very lucky man.

Thank you

'Every woman wants to be pretty. Only around 2 in every 10 are!'

Based on your carefully gathered statistics eh? What BOLLOCKS. What defines 'pretty' isn't set in stone.

I consider myself relatively pretty tho I'm probably not in the top 20% of women in terms of conventional attractiveness, and men certainly fancy me. I consider way more women to be pretty (and men to be handsome!) than one in ten.

Some people are conventionally gorgeous. Some people are attractive in a different way. Some men find chubby women pretty, some men like skinny. Some people like fall in love for personalities more than looks and find whoever they fall in love with utterly beautiful. There is nobody who isn't attractive in some way and it's your partner's job to make you feel beautiful.

OP, you seem so sure you're not attractive. It's not a coincidence that you feel that way and are dating this man. There are women in the world, I guarantee you, who are the same level of 'conventionally attractive' as you and who feel pretty damn good about themselves because they have a partner who adores them.