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Original poster

Tattooed husband

55 replies

user1490779487 · 29/03/2017 10:48

Hi everyone.
Dh and I have been married for 4 years and have a young dd.

When I met him he was very heavily tattooed and he told me he intended to continue, which at the time I didn't think I'd have an issue with.
Over the last 2 years his neck/throat has been completely covered and he's almost finished with his head. As well as having a few small ones on his face. They are all done by top artist and some have won awards at conventions so they do look nice.

The issue I have is that he gets alot of people judging him and it makes me worry for when dd is older. I don't want her to notice how people react to him. Am I wrong to feel this way?

Just for reference dh has a good job and is a very good dad/ husband.

Thanks all

OP posts:
HarmlessChap · 29/03/2017 15:01

Whether its right or wrong to feel that way doesn't mater, the fact is that you do.

He already has the tattoos and he was clear when you got together that he was having more done so its not something him that has changed its your feelings which have.

So what are you going to do about it? Leave? Accept it? Stay but use it as something to continually complain about?

coffeetasteslikeshit · 29/03/2017 15:03

I don't think you'll be able to stop your daughter from noticing how people react to her dad, I'd be worried if she didn't notice tbh. It's how she then reacts to their reactions that would worry me. But if you bring her up to have good self esteem then she probably won't care what people think, just like her dad!

Original poster
user1490779487 · 29/03/2017 16:00

Thank you all for your responses. I love his tattoos but wish he didn't get his head and face done.

A previous poster mentioned about good tattooist not tattooing the face. That is partly true. In order to get more visible areas done (neck,hands) you need to be heavily tattooed in the first place, and only then will they consider it. He's been in a few tattoo magazines for the work done on him and some do look lovely.

As mentioned by another poster I worry about other kids bullying her for her dad being different. Hopefully I'm making an issue out of nothing

OP posts:
DonaldStott · 29/03/2017 16:06

I always wonder where people with face tattoos get jobs?

You have said your dh has modelled his tatts in catalogues, but there must be a very niche market where tattooed faced people can work.

Not being judgemental btw, each to their own and all that. I'm sure the artwork is beautiful and impressive.

I've never seen one work in an office or shop or any public facing roles. It must really narrow their opportunities.

Or are they all so alternative that they don't want a 'normal' job?

Emboo19 · 29/03/2017 16:25

Op, I was never bullied by other kids because of how my dad looked.
Most thought it was really cool! I remember one girl in primary saying he looked 'silly' but that was all.

In high school no one said anything negative. It was more a case of my friends finding him attractive, which tbf is pretty mortifying!

Original poster
user1490779487 · 29/03/2017 16:26

Harmless chap, I wouldn't leave him over this. He has his faults but is a fantastic partner and dad

Donald stott, yes he has been in a few magazines but doesn't do that for a living. He works as a welder/fabricator.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 29/03/2017 16:56

I always wonder where people with face tattoos get jobs?

I have never seen a heavily tattooed person in a white collar profession role. Not in any customer facing role like a sales assistant or bank clerk either.

I've seen them as labourers and gardeners, builders and doormen at clubs.

People will judge, but then that's life really. We all get judged for one thing or another.

Hopefully it will make her stronger. One guy once asked me how much ink is too much for a woman to want to be in a relationship with. He didn't want to get too much ink.

My response was do what you wish and you'll find a woman who is okay with that.

I'm not a fan myself and definitely not on the neck or face.

Emboo19 · 29/03/2017 17:17

In regards to jobs, I think opinions are changing as more people have tattoos. I work in retail, fashion shop aimed at the younger market and at least half the staff have tattoos on show on a daily basis.

My dads in the music industry as are a lot of his friends in some way, all tattooed. His best friend is a tattoo artist so goes without saying he has tats.
He also has a friend who works in advertising and one who's a social worker both with visible tattoos.
My mum works in a children's centre and there's no restrictions on tattoos in her work place (unless they were age inappropriate or rascist)
My art teacher at high school had two full sleeves and always wore short sleeved tops.

MarklahMarklah · 29/03/2017 17:21

I think it's about how good a partner and father he is. If people cross over the road, then that's their problem.

FWIW, I currently have green hair. Last week a woman crossed the road rather than walk past me. When I pick my DD up from school loads of her friends come and talk to me about my hair - all positive.

TheEmmaDilemma · 29/03/2017 17:23

Not too keen on face, but I've never judged someone for a tattoo.

If everyone judged me for my shite one, I'd hate it!

PsychedelicSheep · 29/03/2017 17:29

I have a white collar, professional job and have tattoos, inc 2 half sleeves. I usually cover them but most of my colleagues know I have them. It's never been an issue and I'm fairly sure it would be unfair discrimination i were to lose out on opportunities because of my appearance when I'm bloody good at what I do.

Personally I wouldn't get a face, hand or neck tattoo but I think they can look great on some folks.

PinkHeart59156816 · 29/03/2017 17:29

I think as long as his a good partner & father who cares what other people think of his tattoos, some people are just very weird about tattoos.

I would never judge someone for having a tattoo, I don't like tattoos on the face/neck but that's me not wanting it on my body I couldn't care what people do to themselves.

My dh has his back/chest/arms tattooed and very nice it looks on his muscular body Wink and he works in law he has to wear a suit anyway so it's never effected his job choices.

humanfemale · 29/03/2017 17:29

I think he will be setting a great example to your daughter - showing her that you should be yourself, not care what anyone thinks of your appearance, and that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

^^ Yep.

SandyY2K · 29/03/2017 17:29

In regards to jobs, I think opinions are changing as more people have tattoos.
I agree, but tatoos on the face are different than any other part of the body.

I work in retail, fashion

Emboo19 · 29/03/2017 17:40

I think it depends Sandy behind the ear and back of neck tattoos are very popular and with short hair are very visible. I've also noticed more very small face tattoos and piercings are far more widely accepted now.
I think a lot depends on quality and content of the tattoos as well.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 29/03/2017 17:42

I work in a design- led industry and its quite normal to have quite heavy tattoos. But on the face I think is a step too far. Even though I love tattoos and have them myself and like them on other people to me it says that the person has a lack of judgement. I know that is ridiculous and seems ridiculous even as I type it because it shouldn't matter.
Possibly if it's very obvious that you are being 'fashionable' then you can get away with it but that means carrying off a whole "look" ad infinitum.
I think Sketch from Tattoo Fixers can carry off a few facial tattoos because he's trendy, on telly and quite obviously 'styled'. He won't look the same when he's 50+ and its the one bit of him that he won't be able to cover up so easily.
Of course your partner is a great Dad, and hopefully your Dd can rise above any taunts that come her way. Children are embarrassed by their parents for a myriad of reasons - if it wasn't this it would be something else!n.

On a very slight side note - I would have a gentle talk with your partner about respecting your feelings.

WeeMcBeastie · 29/03/2017 22:25

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I'm not a fan of tattoos and whilst I wouldn't judge a person for having them, others would. My ex had several tattoos (after I met him) and I was aware of people looking at and judging him. Mind you, they were certainly not artistic, I thought he had drawn them on himself - I'm no artist but I could have done better with a felt tip! Grin

nonameinspiration · 29/03/2017 22:33

A child in my dc class father has facial tattoos. I admit I did judge initially then he started collecting his child in his uniform which indicated he held a responsible, community serving job. I promptly removed my giant judgey pants!!

nursebickypegs · 29/03/2017 22:41

You're not wrong. My DH is heavily tattooed, has tattoos on his hands and back of neck, and two lip piercings. I'm heavily tattooed but under my clothes. I get treated completely differently. Daft example; we were in John Lewis buying baby stuff, he got rude customer service and I got glowing.

It's sad, but these things make a difference.

RiverdaleJughead · 29/03/2017 23:25

People may judge him and think he is thuggish ( I think they look awesome) but those who do believe this will be too scared to say anything to your daughter because her daddy is a gangsta 😉

DonaldStott · 29/03/2017 23:48

People who are saying they know people with sleeve tattoos, neck tattoos, heavily tattooed, but cover it up in work etc., it is different than face tatts. Ops face tatts are also covered up for for the majority of the day if he is a welder/fabricator.

I feel it would limit the opportunities you would be employable in.

I find them quite in your face.

Although only as in your face as people who wear slogan t-shirts that say things like 'bitch' and one I have seen recently 'abcdefuck you'

Alisvolatpropiis · 30/03/2017 00:08

The facial tattoos would bother me. Society is changing, the perception of heavily tattooed people has changed dramatically since I was in early 20's. I am now in my late 20's. However; face tattoos remain eyebrow raising, even amongst the heavily tattooed. I understand your concern.

TheDowagerCuntess · 30/03/2017 06:11

I don't personally like tattoos - mainly because I think they're just a bandwagon for the majority of people - but that doesn't sound like it applies to your DH at all.

There was a video on FB recently where a heavily tattooed guy was imparting wisdom to his little daughter - I can't even remember what the topic was, but it was so heart-warming. It really was just lovely to watch.

As long as they have a loving relationship, that's all the matters. As a pp has said, there may well be instances where your DD maybe wishes he was a little bit more mainstream, but don't forget they're only young and impressionable for a short period of time. She'll soon be an adult, and will love him to bits, I'm sure.

Ifailed · 30/03/2017 06:25

Whether we like it or not, a proportion of communication is non-verbal (the actual % is up for debate), which includes gesture, posture, appearance etc. We all will react to this, either unconsciously or knowingly. Depending on the length of the encounter, I think it's quite normal to make judgements - walking down a street towards a group of heavily tatooed & boisterous men would make me feel anxious, on the other hand have a chat and getting to know someone who looks 'different' is a another matter.

Original poster
user1490779487 · 30/03/2017 06:29

It's so lovely to read how many positive replies I've had on this thread, so very heart warming, it has put my mind at rest.
Thank you everyone

OP posts: