wtf do i do now?

[BastardGoDarkly]

So, I've thought about starting a thread a few times about dh and his obsession with his phone, was going to ask if its reasonable to just ask to look through it.
Anyway, last night we'd had a drink, and I asked if i could look through his phone, in a half joking way, cue frantic tapping on phone, then he handed it over, with deleted internet history,I asked wtf, and started looking further (I don't know what I'm doing with his phone) he snatched it back and ranted about his privacy.

As soon as this happened,I felt like I'd always known he is hiding something.

He knows I wouldn't hit the roof about average porn, so its something else/more.

But I'll never know now will I? I'm thinking all sorts, I haven't spoken to him today, he left for work before I got up.

What do I do now? I feel like i can't believe a word he says now.

From personal experience it's not necessarily the amount of time spent on phone that's the problem, it's when there's a change in behaviour with it. Like when previously they would leave the phone whilst they went in the shower or whilst they answer the door and now it goes everywhere with them.

I have always had a gut feeling when something's not right and I would trust it if I were you. All you can do now is be more aware of subtle changes in behaviour, see how he reacts when you randomly ask to use his phone to google something or call someone. You don't even need to use that as an opportunity to snoop, his reaction to you asking will tell you what you need to know.

I've been in relationships before where I've been made to feel like I'm crazy and a psycho when In fact I was right all along.

I've found stuff on the internet history that DW wouldn't have wanted me to see, nothing which said cheating but stuff that she's be embarrassed to admit. I asked her about one thing and she got very angry that I was snooping.

That was i n the days before having individual accounts on a computer as we do now. I don't snoop as I trust her, if I did want to have a look at her phone I would imagine there will be things there that aren't really for my eyes so it might not be the best idea.

Bastard hate to type and run but I'm at work. I will be back tonight. Just wanted to say trust your instinct. It may be neither nowt nor summat but he could have been watching porn that you maybes wouldn't approve of.

See what he says tonight. Pointless checking his history tonight he will have gone through it with a fine tooth comb and deleted anything iffy.

{{{{{{{{Huge hugs}}}}}}}}

It's a tough one because as everyone else has said, there is no point looking now because anything he doesn't want you to see will have been wiped off by the time he gets home.

You obviously don't want to break up your normally happy marriage because of a feeling but when you have that feeling in your gut it's impossible to shake it off.

I suppose all you can do is talk to him to find out why he deleted his history and if he has a good reason then great. If not then keep your eyes peeled and if you notice anything else then confront him.

I honestly don't know what else you can do but I'm hopeless with advice. I'm good at ((((((hugs)))))) though.

Don't understand Userblahblahs post at all.

What are you doing? Is my phone in there?!... Like he was worrying.

Some people are super private with their phones.

There may be conversations that aren't anything really bad, but just that he wouldn't want you to see.

I realise that I always have my phone with me. My DH doesn't, but we both have passwords on our phones that are private. So I wouldn't want him snooping through my phone, but I'm not doing anything dodgy either.

But it does sound like he panicked a too much when he left his phone in the bathroom.

OP, how do you think your DH would react if you clung to your phone like he does.

Might be worth seeing if he actually notices as an experiment.

Sometimes people who might be cheating, suspect their partners of the same. I read about a woman cheating who wanted to feel better about the fact that she was cheating and hired a P. I. to follow her DH. She projected her own behaviour and he wasn't cheating.

Bastard my OH is exactly like this, he never lets me see his phone is on it a lot, and I mean a lot when I ask him about it he says it's no different to if he was on a laptop or ipad, he says he is on the internet... ( but he has always been massively private just more so since fucking smartphones )
I have massive trust issues and there are loads of reasons for this, but his behaviour with me doesn't suggest he is cheating or doing otherwise and he assures me that he loves me and is always faithful and has never done anything wrong, I try really hard to believe him and I love him with every bone in my body, I don't want to split up with him but at the same time living like this drives me mad!! anyway sorry for babbling on, what I am trying to say is just have it out with him, nip it in the bud don't let it spiral into you thinking your a crazy woman! (((( hugs ))))

Any updates Bastard or is it okay?

Hello Buster yeah, we're ok, it was basic porn, and football betting

Alright Wizard my lovely? Ta for the

Is your relationship good on the whole? Maybe he's planning a surprise / not something untoward. Or maybe he's embarrassed about something. Rather than 'attacking' & making him go on the defensive just gently explain that obvs it comes across unsettling & u're feeling a bit paranoid & see if he gives any assurances

Ha should've read all the way to the bottom! Glad it's nothing serious!

I'm guessing that's a good outcome then in the context of what it could have been? I'm glad it's kind of ok.