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Original poster

Sex after baby

33 replies

crazypenguinlady · 26/03/2017 21:09

My little boy is nearly a month old so although not quite ready, starting to think more about having sex for the first time since his birth. I sustained a second degree tear which required stitches so although I recovering well, it's made me very nervous about the idea of having sex again. My DP is wonderful and not pressurising me in any way. We've spoken about it and he had said whenever I'm ready we can. I was thinking of doing it when my parents look after DS in a few weeks so we can go out, I can have a glass of wine to relax.

Just wondering, how long after having a baby did you have sex again? How was it and any other tips to relax? It feels like losing my virginity all over again Smile

OP posts:
AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 26/03/2017 21:13

3 months for me, I moved in with my parents after DS was born and DH came to visit in the daytime and went home at night so no chance of anything earlier Grin

milpool · 26/03/2017 21:32

With my first I think about 8/9 weeks. I'd had an episiotomy that took quite a long time to heal. We took it very very slowly and it was a good couple of months on from there before things were completely painless.

Second time round I had no tears or anything... I think it was about 3.5 weeks. Baby is 8 weeks now and we have managed a couple of times and it has been fine.

Just take things at your own pace, plenty of lube, and stop if it hurts. There is no rush.

user1490522234 · 26/03/2017 21:45

Exactly 4 weeks to the day my baby was born was the first time we 'did it again' I remember it exactly as it was our wedding anniversary everything was fine ! Don't worry about it relax it's perfectly normal ! It did not hurt one bit x

Chickiwick · 26/03/2017 21:48

6 weeks but I had a c-section. I was desperate by that time - no pressure from DH at all.

It was absolutely fine.

MargaretCabbage · 26/03/2017 21:48

About two months both times, after a third degree and second degree tear. I'd recommend lots of lube. It was really painful and uncomfortable for me for about six months after both births and I was worried it had changed forever but gradually it started to improve.

miserableandinpain · 26/03/2017 21:51

4 weeks. I had had a 2nd degree tear also. But i felt ready and we were careful. I would say wait till at least 6 weeks though and then whenerver you feel ok to do so x.

Congratulations on baby Flowers

MamaLazarou · 26/03/2017 21:52

For us, it was about 5-6 weeks after the birth that we had full sex, but we had done loads of other stuff before that. I had awful PND and sex was the only thing that felt normal so was quite comforting.

I would be wary of planning the event for a particular evening: it might put too much pressure on you.

Good luck! And remember the condoms - a pregnancy scare when your baby is just weeks old is absolutely terrifying! Smile

AntiHop · 26/03/2017 21:54

It was 6 months for me before I felt ready. I didn't tear, just an episiotomy.

makemineadoubleplease · 26/03/2017 22:04

I'm a ftm. I had three small tears after giving birth - all of which required stitching. We 'did the deed' 4 weeks after giving birth (in retrospect a bit early but I was really feeling it that day).

It was nice but somewhat uncomfortable - bit like being a virgin again to be honest. We used lots of lubricant and went slowly. Second time at 8 weeks - much the same. Third time at 10 weeks felt much better.. what a relief!

Good luck if you decide to go for it. And make sure you use lots of lubricant if you are bfing! Wink

SilenceOfTheYams · 26/03/2017 23:29

Nearly a year! 😂

growingseeds · 27/03/2017 01:45

5 weeks here post birth. I had a small labial tear and a very long labour with a big baby so felt quite bruised.
We took it slowly, with lube to hand, and all was well. And I had the most intense orgasm ever ! Apparently post birth sex can be even better than before ;)

growingseeds · 27/03/2017 01:46

Yes to lots of lube if bf! And be prepared for milk let down when you come!

ClemDanfango · 27/03/2017 01:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuffinMaiden · 27/03/2017 03:26

13 months and counting Blush... Co-sleeping is a bitch sometimes!

DoubleCarrick · 27/03/2017 03:37

Ds is 11 weeks and I'm still pretty tender in places. I've thought about it but we won't be dtd for a while yet

catsarenice · 27/03/2017 04:07

6 weeks with dd but 7 months with DS due to constant feeding and knackerdness and that was only cos mil took him for a walk xmas day! He's now 10 months and we haven't managed since!

Popskipiekin · 27/03/2017 04:08

First time round 5 weeks and I think we should have used more lube, I was very tight and uncomfortable - it didn't actually hurt, just didn't feel right at all. Took until I'd finished breastfeeding at 8 months for it to feel back to normal.
Second time round - well we're at 14 weeks and I still don't feel ready to try. I expect it will get to 4 months fully and I'll feel things have gone on long enough! DH fortunately v understanding - and enjoying his sleep in separate bedroom. He will have to weigh up the cost of coming in with us! Grin

GuinessPunch · 27/03/2017 04:09

3 weeks but I had no tears and the day after I had him felt practically normal down below.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 27/03/2017 07:54

2 weeks 😳

hangingkebab · 27/03/2017 08:00

DC1 was 8 months due to birth injury and subsequent surgery.

DC2 was 13 months due to cosleeping, breastfeeding and just not really being up for it.

DH is a very patient man! Grin

highinthesky · 27/03/2017 08:11

Never, and even then under great sufferance.

So business as usual really!

Batteriesallgone · 27/03/2017 08:16

About 6 weeks I think both times. Agree use lots of lube.

I found post birth sex AMAZING for about six months after - something about the stretching exposing different nerve endings? I think, not sure...but I'd be careful about waiting until you've had a drink. First time you really want to be fully aware of whether anything is hurting and if you need to stop. Not likely if you're tiddly for the first time in nearly a year.

SunnyCoco · 27/03/2017 08:23

About 6 months
Traumatic birth mentally and physically

Popskipiekin · 27/03/2017 08:25

Hahaha Kungfu my fanjo takes its hat off (and runs quaking from the room).

ems137 · 27/03/2017 08:55

For us it was 1 week but I'm very lucky and have never torn or had stitches, and always had fairly straightforward births. I also haven't suffered from PND or massive hormone changes (not outwardly anyway).

Everyone is different though and it's always better to be comfortable and fairly relaxed about it, don't put too much pressure on yourself.