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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

100% honest.....how many times do you have sex with long term partner/husband in a month

70 replies

SlB09 · 20/03/2017 13:52

Doing my own poll!! Answers underneath 😉

OP posts:
Valentine2 · 20/03/2017 14:52

Known him since teenage. Together for very very long now.
3-4x per week and sometimes more. We only not do it when we are totally drained and it's fun.
Why do you ask?

Justreadingtheforum · 20/03/2017 14:53

Only once a week, I would have it more. He will masturbate me a couple of times a week too as I have a much higher sex dive than him - he is good at that and I sleep much better after.

Valentine2 · 20/03/2017 14:56

OP
Don't be discouraged by some of the answers here that say it's exaggeration generally. I can't see why a healthy and youngish couple can't do it often. It's one of the closest bonds of marriage and if this fails, you face major trouble. This is one of the things that must work for a marriage to work in my opinion.
I have also used it as a weapon when I am grumpy but I am evil that way..sometimes

frums · 20/03/2017 15:04

People aren't necessarily lying but I think these threads attract those who are proud to tell others about their sex lives. Those are usually people who shag a lot.

DP and I have been together 15 years and have four kids. We are both around 40.

At our worst we have gone months without. For example in my last pregnancy we stopped shagging at 20 weeks and started again at five months post partum. We have had other dry periods or many months just because life gets in the way.

On a great month we do it 3 times a week. That's normally the summer when everyone seems more relaxed, healthy and turned on.

Right now I can't remember when we last did it. Maybe two weeks ago? Certainly won't do it this week as I we have no evenings when we are both home at the same time.

Fruitcocktail6 · 20/03/2017 15:05

How can you have sex 0.5 times a month.

We have maybe 2-3 times a week, upped around ovulation time as we're ttc.

Moanyoldcow · 20/03/2017 15:08

About twice a month. One DS4 - together 12 years. I'd like more but it's always been lower than 'average'. The only area we're mismatched.

JoandMax · 20/03/2017 15:11

It massively varies on what else is going on in our lives really.

I guess probably on average twice a week the last 6 months but it could be that we have sex every day for a week then nothing for 3 weeks or just weekends only.......

It was a lot less when DC were very young, I had zero libido and it was around once a month (and I'd have been happy to go longer!). Now they're older it's picked up a lot. I've also come off any hormone contraception and I'm enjoying shagging a lot more!!

BarryTheKestrel · 20/03/2017 15:24

On average a 3 times a month, sometimes none, sometimes a few times a week. DH would like more but since being pregnant and having DD 2 years ago my libido has really taken a nose dive.

We are planning starting TTC in the next few months so I'm sure it'll go up again. Once I have DC2, if we have DC2, I will then use non hormonal contraception as I know my contraception doesn't help my libido at all.

frieda909 · 20/03/2017 15:27

How often doesn't matter, it's whether you're both on the same page that's important.

In my last relationship, we did it on what I think most people would see as a fairly regular basis. But he was never happy. He wanted it at least once a day, ideally twice, and no matter how much we did it he always seemed to be complaining that it wasn't enough. As a result, I ended up convinced that I had a low libido. He was constantly telling me that I hated sex because I didn't want to do it all the time.

Now I'm with someone who has a much more evenly-matched libido with mine, and as a result I actually enjoy it and WANT to do it as much as possible. I'm not constantly being told that it's not good enough. The pressure was such a turn-off!

Keepithidden · 20/03/2017 15:30

It could be people want to know what "normal" is in terms of whether they would be more compatible with another partner, and whether the chances of finding said partner are likely or not. Just a thought.

ems137 · 20/03/2017 15:33

We've been together 4 years I've got 3 children and pregnant with our 4th. Our sex life/frequency has never really altered throughout pregnancy or childbirth, we have it most days. It's important to both of us, I'd say more so to DH if I'm totally honest but I'd still want it every other day if left totally up to me.

DonaldStott · 20/03/2017 15:37

Together 15 years. 1dd 8yo, usually once a week.

Bloody hell happybunny totally appropriate username.

I couldn't be arsed with that Grin

Poudrenez · 20/03/2017 15:40

Fruit you do it 0.5 per month if you have a shag every other month.

Vanillamanilla1 · 20/03/2017 15:41

Haven't had sex in over 3 years
Been with partner 18years

SleepingTiger · 20/03/2017 15:42

Its not regular, just seldom and big.

But that is due to where we are in our life cycle.

We acted like rabbits for first 5-6 years "sweat pouring off us".

Then children came along, then it became much less frequent, but now children are older and can answer the phone, make a cup of tea, so should be more so again. But it isn't because DP has a semi-professional hobby and I have a business to tend to we meet less frequently.

About 4-5 times a year when we take a long weekend away and then we are back to "a bit of sweat". It is like an affair, but without the guilt.

In between, we sort ourselves out. Sometimes, we will help out the other, usually me going dow..... TMI so here I stop.

Bue · 20/03/2017 15:42

OP the people who answer these threads tend to be the ones with very above average numbers.

Factorysettings · 20/03/2017 15:43

I'm hoping Fruit comes back and says they are shagging at the stroke of midnight at the first of every month and 0.5 is a literal report.

Someone22 · 20/03/2017 15:44

Very happily married, low sex drive on both sides = hardly ever.

Poudrenez · 20/03/2017 15:46

Factory I am the fractional shagger, notFruit (although they were referring to my post.

I don't know - I ask my friends about this, and no-one is getting much (or that bothered really). But then threads like this convince me there must be something wrong with us. It's a bit like reading Cosmopolitan.

hoddtastic · 20/03/2017 15:50

about 20 times this year i think? We went almost a year once when dd3 was a baby and unputdownable,feeding constantly and in our bed - if he'd tried to put the moves on me i'd have killed him stone dead...

SleepingTiger · 20/03/2017 15:53

I'm hoping Fruit comes back and says they are shagging at the stroke of midnight at the first of every month and 0.5 is a literal report.

That would still be 1.0 on average.

hoddtastic · 20/03/2017 15:54

actually, what frums says, If i am working on something then i prefer to do it in silence when everyone else is asleep- so we don't go to bed at the same time.

I don't work for say,5 months over the summer, and we like to make hay while the sun shines. On holiday it's morning noon and night because we can/fancy it.

Factorysettings · 20/03/2017 15:57

I realised that when I posted Tiger and had hoped it would fly under the radar. And I got names mixed up too. I live in hope of an edit button one day.

NikaKaKa · 20/03/2017 15:59

Together almost 9 years, 1 DD aged 4 and live-in bro in law aged 18.

On average 28 days in the month and usually more than once on those days.

Fruitcocktail6 · 20/03/2017 16:00

I was replying to Poudrenez! I'm not the 0.5 a month shagger!

I was hoping the answer would be you just do oral or something like that. Half a shag.