He's gone

[YellowPansy1234]

Just feel really low.

My boyfriend split up with me this morning. Feel like my heart has split into a million pieces.

I trusted him. Trusted in everything he promised. I'm a complete lone parent as well and I let myself trust him which was hard

But he's left anyway. All too difficult.

This will feel easier right? I mean I will do my day to day life but the pain goes away right?

Fuck. I really loved him.

Yeah documentaries are my go to in this situation. Will put on a soothing science documentary and try and sleep soon.

School run tomorrow. No time to collapse. Too much depending on me

I want to delete it. I deleted all our photos and emails and texts.

Aww sorry to hear that Missy. Hugs to you xx

Hi Missy, this happened to me in January but my ex is a certified shit so I appreciate I kind of dodged a bullet and may have had less shock to process. At the time though it was fucking raw and awful. We lived together, together for 18 months. I've been NC the whole time, went so far as to actually block him, so I don't even know if he's tried to contact me or not. 2 months on and I feel great. Occasional wobbles when I find myself with 'too much' free time (who knew that was a thing?) to dwell on it.

I've thrown myself into cooking fabulous food, going to the gym, having a laugh at work wherever I can, going for coffees with mates who I'd lost touch with, watching shit telly as I've been going to sleep - like a pp said I think having that background noise can really help.

Here if you want to chat.

Do it. It's like ripping off a plaster. Remember that he still has your number and email, so you are not preventing him from contacting you. You are just ensuring you won't make a call/text/email that could, in hindsight, make you feel shittier than you do right now.

Yeah it's hard having his number. I'm looking forward to that time.passing and it being less raw.

to everyone who has shared and gone through this.

It's bloody hard. Especially when you're ahem older and should know better.

Well, I'm 42 so don't worry about that part! You still have a heart and the ability to love at any age. But we probably need to get a little choosier...

It's horribly hard, but you'll get through it. Some days will feel worse than others, some days you'll find yourself having not thought about him for 5 minutes, then down the line, 10 minutes, then 3 hours, 3 days. It's the oldest cliche in the book but time is really the best, and truest, healer.

How much time can you afford to spend doing your own thing? Do you have friends and family who would mind DS whilst you treated yourself to a day's shopping/a massage etc?

Doesn't matter how old you are op , pain is pain. But hang in there and it will get better, you sound very together and I'm slightly in awe at your ability to properly cut ties . Bravo

Thanks. It's really hard to not contact him but I have to keep that dignity.

I need to make more time for myself. I know that. But hard when you work full time and are a lone parent. Feel bad for taking time just for myself..

Anyway eating chips. Cat trying to lick them. Watching crap documentary.

Ugh. Work tomorrow. Life goes on

Hear hear about choosier! But they sneak up on they, don't you. Fuckwits.

Oh yes.... Especially if you're a bit lonely and vulnerable. I sometimes think of those gazelles in a David Attenborough documentary! I don't want to be a gazelle (definitely don't look like one, either - more hippo!)

In regards to a relationship breakdown I would give yourself a certain amount of time to think about him, what's happened, the situation now and how it makes you feel. Maybe write it down but you must choose a length of time and stick to it. You could choose a long period time to begin with and then gradually reduce it.

It really does get easier. But god I was a disaster when my "one" broke up with me, also a single mum. Now I dither between being grateful, cos he's obviously not worth me and disrespected me and still, I must admit a bit of yearning towards him. Never easy no matter what age you are.

Keep strong (by yearning I mean passing thoughts once a month or so and I still have some of his stuff stored here).

You'll be ok. Cos you have to be!

Morning. At work.

Didn't cry on the way in. Result. Have decided to write a letter to him over the week but not send it. Just put it in the bin after it's done.

Trying to make plans and talk to friends.

Slept on sofa last night.

Another day!

Nowt wrong with the sofa sleeping - I did it for quite a while after ex left, as the bed just seemed too big. The letter is a great idea. It's really cathartic, but preserves your dignity. Hope work is bearable.

Hope today goes well, OP

Well done for making it into work, I know it can be tempting to wallow at home but it's so good to have other things to think about.

Great idea about the letter. It helps to "tell him" all the things you want to say. Head held high OP. You can do this.

Work is good. Lots of friends here.

Really struggling with how worthless I feel. Even though I know I'm not but just feel like I'm not someone worth fighting for.

You're not worthless. Every time you find yourself thinking that, give yourself a mental shake. Ask yourself if your friends and family think you're worthless? No. Does your son think you're worthless? No, he thinks you're awesome.

Hi OP.
My partner of 3 years broke up with me last week too. I wasn't expecting it at all, and it was a total shock. He said he just doesn't love me anymore. We've lived together for 2 years now, so I'm terrified of what will happen when he moves out. I am incredibly stubborn, but not as strong as I thought I was.
I don't understand how he is supposed to be my best friend, my confident, my family one day and the next I'm all on my own.
I am in total shock- and I'm so scared of how much it will hurt when I'm no longer in shock
Here if you want to talk.

Sorry to hear that Doglikeafox.

It's fucking awful the shock. And having to make such a short transition from together and then not and reorganising your life in your head.

Still at work. Looking forward to going home to see my son but equally not looking forward to being at home.

To top things off, I've been offered a job today in a city far away. Would have to relocate on my own now. Plus came home to find my rat had died.

Oh, missy so sorry to hear about your rat, I used to have one years ago.,called Stella. I found out about ex's affair just days after DS was diagnosed with autism. The shit always seems to come at once, doesn't it?

Shit does have a habit of piling on yeah.

Thank you all for talking to me. Sorry if I don't respond properly to all your replies. But I value them. Nice to feel like somewhere I have back up as I don't have much in real life.

Need to research places, schools and budgets for this new.job and then decide whether to accept. Maybe a fresh new start would be good for me and my son.

We are such a little unit. But a great one.