Feeling letdown over hen night

[startingover231]

I'm wondering if I am justified in feeling let down by my friend attending OW's hen night? XH left me after almost 25 years for OW about 2 & 1/2 years ago. They're now getting married next month. When we split up , inevitably after so many years we had a number of joint friends and I have tried really hard to not mind that some of our friends have stayed in contact with him and therefore by default come into contact with 'her' too. I never wanted any of my friends to feel 'in the middle' between us and I made that clear in the beginning.
I'm not particularly bothered that they're getting married, as far as I'm concerned they're both cheats and deserve each other. I've tried not to mind that our grown up children are attending his wedding and indeed that my DD is being a bridesmaid or that some of our friends are going to the wedding, but I was floored this evening to hear from my daughter that one of my good friends is going to the OW's hen night! Her DH is one of my XH's closest friends so I'm not surprised he is going to his stag night but I am quite hurt that someone I consider to be 'my' friend is going to her hen night.
How would you feel about that? Am I being unreasonable?
Would you say something and risk losing her friendship? Or is the fact she's going to the hen night an indication of 'sidetaking' that you couldn't forgive?

I can't imagine a good friend doing this.

It doesn't take much empathy to know that this will be hurtful.

I would suggest your "friend" has chosen a side and this makes it clear where she stands.
How can you have anything but a superficial relationship with her as she clearly isn't interested in your true feelings.You should be able to talk to her about the wedding and dd.

Honestly this isn't a friend by my definition, social acquiance but not true friend.

I'm afraid that would be it for me. I would expect her to have said "look, in in an awkward position and feel I have to go" but she hasn't and she hasn't warned you either.

You sound as though you have dealt with it with class but that doesn't mean you have to be walked over.

Personally I would just draw a line and let her go. I wouldn't respond to any contact and if she eventually realised something was wrong and asked then I would tell her.

She's not a worthy friend in my opinion.

To be clear, I wouldn't do this to a friend but I can genuinely see why she might think it's ok!

You're ok with him getting married.

You're ok with your dd being part of the wedding.

You think dd should have a relationship with them.

You've moved on and are in a new relationship...

But you don't think your friend should be her friend??

It doesn't make a lot of sense!