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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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31 replies

user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 18:37

Hi basically I've been allowed to fall for a man who has a gf ...started off harmless then flirting and drunken texts ...now I feel like an idiot and I'm hurting because he allowed me to fall for him and before you judge me I can't help my feelings ..nothing has ever happened physically as I'm not that kind of person ..I don't know what to do

OP posts:
Rubyslippers7780 · 05/03/2017 18:39

You are responsible for your own actions and behaviour.
Unless you want to become the ow block and delete him.

user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 18:41

I have zero intentions of becoming the other woman at all ...I've never replied to him or encouraged anything

OP posts:
TwitterQueen1 · 05/03/2017 18:42

Wow. "You've been allowed" really? So you have no free will of your own? Some external indeterminate force has allowed this? Grow up and take responsibility for the choices you make and the path you take.

AnyFucker · 05/03/2017 18:44

Allowed by whom ?

user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 18:44

Your miss interpreting what I'm saying ...I've ignored all advances from him ..all I've asked for is advice not this

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 05/03/2017 18:45

What is "this" You are getting from MN that you didn't want ?

SloanyAnne · 05/03/2017 18:46

So what you're saying is that he didn't tell you he has a partner?

AnyFucker · 05/03/2017 18:46

And it isn't possible to flirt with someone who isn't replying

Didn't you say you have never replied ?

user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 18:46

Negativity ...I've done nothing wrong and has absolutely zero intentions of acting on anything at all

OP posts:
user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 18:47

No I was never told he had a gf till recently

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 05/03/2017 18:48

How has he been "flirting" then. With himself ?

user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 18:48

Yes I did flirt until he confessed he had a gf then I stopped

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 05/03/2017 18:50

So how have you fallen for him?
If you've never replied you've not conversed at all so I don't understand how.
Block and delete him.
Job done.

user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 18:51

Meaning I've not replied since he confessed he had a gf ...

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 05/03/2017 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SloanyAnne · 05/03/2017 18:54

So. You and he started a flirty relationship. You've developed feelings for him. You've found out he has a partner and have put a stop to any contact.
You're asking for help in getting past the feelings you have for him because you have no intention of having a relationship with him because he has a partner.
Is that right?

user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 18:54

Wow

OP posts:
user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 18:55

Yes that is it ...

OP posts:
CoffeeDiamonds · 05/03/2017 18:57

He's an absolute twat.

He was coming on to you, and cheating on his GF.

Surely you don't still have feelings for the lying bastard?

TwitterQueen1 · 05/03/2017 18:57

"You weren't told he had a girlfriend". Again op, you are refusing to take any personal responsibility.

What advice do you want exactly?

tallwivglasses · 05/03/2017 18:58

I think your getting harsh replies because you've dripfed a bit OP and used some wording that maybe posters have misinterpreted. If I'm right, you're hurting big time. You were falling for him headfirst and now he's broken your heart. But you have to toughen up - block, delete and go no contact. Get busy with friends/hobbies. Be kind to yourself.

user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 18:59

I agree he is just that !!! I flirted and got to like someone who I believed and told was single

OP posts:
BubblingUp · 05/03/2017 18:59

So, he led you on, not telling you he already had a gf. Now you know and you are not getting involved. That's good! If possible over time, trade your hurt in for anger, followed by indifference.

user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 19:00

I'm not good with wording at all ...I'm hurt and anger ...just feel like an idiot and with some of the replies I feel more of an idiot

OP posts:
user1488726663 · 05/03/2017 19:01

What personal responsibility do I need to take ..:none at all ...

OP posts:
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