Its over

[LovelyUnicorn83]

My partner of 3.5 years ended it with me last night because I dont want another baby

I am sorry OP.

Is that the only reason?

I think so. We were going to ttc but i got cold feet so hes told me he cant see it lasting.

Another? And you already have at least one? That's bizarre. I'm calling that bluff.

Its difficult because if one persons desire for another child is so strong it can lead to the end of the relationship as they will always resent the other person.

That said i think the first step would be counselling maybe not ending the relationship straight away. I suppose that does depend on if tge person sees the relationship as important or just a vehicle to have children.

I have 2 kids of my own. He doesnt have any. Its obviously a dealbreaker for him

If he hasnt got any and wants kids, i think he has made the right decision.

If its a deal breaker its best to move on sooner rather than later.

Ahh ok so he has no children.
Did you say that having DC with him was something you wanted/led him to believe?

Why have you got cold feet?

I'm sorry - it was clear from your other threads that you really liked him.
But it was also clear that you didn't want to have another child - so you've done the right thing, and looking back you'll be sure of that.
for the hard days until you get to that point.

This is the right decision for both of you. When dating i specifically didnt date men who did not have children as I was done having them.

Sounds like he's done the right thing. Better to end it now than give up his chance of being a biological father and resenting you for it. Especially given you were willing to TTC with him and have since changed your mind. Of course you're perfectly entitled to do that, but the agreement was changed and I'm glad he's being realistic.

Sookie he knew i was unsure and never led him to believe anything else. Ive already got 2 kids and im happy with my lot.

He stayed in his sisters last night. I imagine hes going to want to collect his stuff soon. DS is 14 he knows but DD doesnt she'll be devastated.

Unsure does leave the option for a yes. Which he was probably hoping for.
Not helped by the fact you agreed to ttc.

You cant blame him for making the choice when you knew he wanted DC but that does not mean it hurts any less OP.

You will get through this

It's the right outcome for you both but it will take some time and pain to realise that.

Im just really sad. I havent told DD yet she just thinks hes staying at his sisters for a few days and coming back. She calls him dad shes going to be so upset. He texted me to come round tomorrow to talk but i dont see how things can change

Unfortunately you want things which are mutually exclusive. There's no compromise here, and both of you are perfectly justified in wanting what you want.

It is time to let him move on and find someone else who does want kids. A very hard situation for you both, you have my sympathy.

I'm so sorry. He's done the right thing though.

The alternatives would be staying put and building up seething resentment towards you, or slyly looking for someone who's amenable to having babies whilst still with you, and then dumping you for her. He's definitely chosen the honourable route.

My DD keeps asking me where ex is. Ive told her hes at his sisters but she wants to know why! I dont know what to say to her

As hard as it is, he has done the right thing. This is a huge deal breaker in a relationship if partners disagree. Hugs xx

So sorry to hear this OP, I read your last thread. Just big hugs to you

I got a positive pregnancy test this morning

Decide what you want to do, on your own.

Clearly you had decided you didn't want anymore DC, has anything really changed?