Ball is in his court....or is it??

[Frothyfreddie]

So I have a gorgeous F.@k buddy. We both have busy lives and get to see each other usually monthly.

Last time we messaged FB asked when we would see each other again, he wanted to know would it be weeks/ months, I said I would buy him some cake for his birthday (that was about 7 weeks away at the time). He didn't respond to the message.... no big deal, I know he is still 'around'.

Anyway, the ball is now in his court isn't it?
Or do I text and wish him a happy birthday and ask him out for cake? I feel like he isn't interested in a woman who chases which makes me not want to text BUT it's s significant birthday so I don't want to seem like a cold bitch who wouldn't wish him happy birthday.

So.... do i text him with a simple happy birthday and leave it there? Or add an invitation for a coffee?

I don't see how he could know.

You said you weren't available for 7 weeks. If someone I liked said that to me I would think they were letting me know they didn't have the time or inclination. And I would be gutted.

So I got a message from FB this morning. Made me so happy, he spent the weekend abroad and had left his phone in the car (feasible I suppose). He said he had a lovely party and that he was really hoping that I would message him. A date has been set up for 3 weeks time, yes I know! But it's honestly just work schedules. Can't wait to see him and will have a frank and open conversation with him about a possible long term weekly thing....we can do it it's just laziness on both parts

Bump

Glad you've been in touch.

Yes, of course you should wish a FB a happy birthday - that would be the buddy part. What you shouldn't be doing is angsting over it for days and being so happy he replied etc.

You want more. Which is fine! You need to find out if he does and act accordingly.

Yes helendenver you are so right.... I'm hoping we want the same thing :-/

So I got a message from FB this morning. Made me so happy,

Made me so happy - the sirens are sounding; the alarms are all going off and you need to evacuate the emotionally involved building.

Plus:

Frothyfreddie Wed 08-Mar-17 18:12:31
Bump

means you need to put it down and back away. You are so over invested that you are bumping your own thread to talk about him.

This is bad bad bad bad news.

You have gone off into the deep end of obsessing. Obsessing and a FWB do not mix.

Proceed with caution.

• Tell him how you feel and watch him either flee for the hills or take advantage of your feelings. Heart broken and pounded to a pulp which will require a lot of therapy to reassemble to any vague heart like workable shape.
• Walk away now. Heart broken but not pulped. Repairable with time.

The chances of this being tell him how you feel and him saying the same, cue credits and sweeping romantic music, are very not good odds.

I agree with mangos.

I don't agree with mangos. It could be that this guy likes her too. Worth giving it a shot before she walks away or she could miss out on something gpod.

I don't think there has really been any evidence that he likes you more than as a FWB and you obviously really like him.

You have to be honest and don't pitch it as 'can we do this more regularly' - say you have feelings and does he want to give this a go as a proper relationship.

If he doesn't, I think you should end it and find someone who does.

You can't shag someone into a relationship!

Good luck!

I don't agree with mangoes either. The op will always wonder "what if" if she walks away now.

You need to have a chat with him and say you want more op. If I was you I'd send the message you had suggested on the very first page of this thread and if he isn't interested you can cancel your date and move on. If he is, happy days.

I just don't see the point in ever playing games. If he likes you he'll be pleased, if he doesn't then you can move on and it's his loss