I've been a bit of a twat wrt a guy I was seeing

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

I met a guy on OLD. We've been out 3 times - first got talking in December last year.
At the end of our first date I basically just blanked him and walked away.
I text him later that weekend to apologise and he said it was fine and thought no more of it.
Our second and third date went very well.
After a week or so I asked him how he was and he said he'd been unwell. I wished him well and that was that. After that, I messaged him to say that I didn't think this was going anywhere and left it at that. He didn't respond to that message.

I messaged him last night and asked how he's getting on and briefly told him what was going on in my life. He responded asking how things are going and asking how I am.
I would love to see him again and I realise I have behaved like a twat - I did mention that I was sorry about that in the initial text I sent him last night.
Do you think this is a lost cause?

Wish I was feeling fed up and frustrated that night as it seemed to take him forever to arrange anything.

What was wrong with you arranging something?

It sounds like you went on the lookout for 'something better', and since you couldn't find it, you've come back with your tail between your legs.

I would keep you at arm's length to be honest.

Forget it and move on!

You sound really high maintenance
Poor bloke

I think you just have to accept that you missed your chance with this guy.

Work out why you behaved that way, and make sure you don't do it again.

I'm fully aware that if it was him posting, he'd be told to run for the hills but I was just fed up.

Worra I did arrange things. It's him that took a millennia to respond. But that said, he did always respond when I asked him something, I was just expecting things to move much faster than they were. I suppose, it really comes down to how I behaved as he conducted himself entirely normally and politely.

ChinHair I can assure you I'm not at all 'high maintenance' I'm just sometimes very stressed with things. I acted out and I hate myself for it now.

Maybe move on from this one as you've messed him around quite a bit by the sounds of it, and learn from it: don't continue to 'act out'.

I'm just sometimes very stressed with things. I acted out and I hate myself for it now.

Isn't that the definition of high maintenance? Not the stress thing, necessarily, but acting out and then hating yourself for it?

How fast did you expect things to move? You might be more of a arrange, plan, organise person (I am) and he might be more of a "let's see what happens" person (which I am not). There is nothing 'wrong' with either approach, but they are pretty incompatible.

Perhaps you're just not suited. He can still be a really great person but not right for you.

You sound like hard work, forget about him.

I'd have blocked you for being high maintenance. Leave him alone

The thing is, you don't sound well matched. He either isn't that into you or is very laid back and you want more pace and for him to be more proactive. So even if you did continue seeing each other, you'd just up cross and frustrated with him.

Op, I haven't checked but are you the person who talked about this guy not really responding to you or showing any interest? And were advised to walk away?

I don't think the relationship is going anywhere if that's the case, so prob best to leave it, as he wasn't really interested in the first place. Sorry.

I think this is a poster who starts threads over and over about various fuck ups with various men

I think you should give dating a rest until you get your act together, tbh

I too think you should leave the poor bloke alone, you clearly weren't that bothered a couple of weeks ago or you wouldn't have sent the text-what's changed now?

You got hammered on the first date then blanked him, told him you weren't interested and are now trying to reel him back in. I'd lose respect for him if he was still interested tbh.

My only advice on the situation is to consider how you'd react if this was the other way around. Would you honestly want somebody acting in this way to keep contacting you and essentially going round and round in circles? I know I wouldn't. I think it's probably best to leave him alone. Sorry OP.

I agree with the PP who said they behaved like this at 18/19. I was the same (i.e. flighty with drama queen tendencies). It's not acceptable once you're a real adult - move on and be nicer to the next one!

AnyFucker Can you link to those threads then? I have a genuine concern and have noted that I have fucked up. If you think I'm just eternally on the hook-up and fuck-up with various men can you please qualify this with substantial information rather than dismiss me because you view my concerns as those of a silly girl.

BarbarianMum I suspect that's largely the case. It would just like that even if he magically decided he wanted to see me again.

You are acting like a silly girl.

Then perhaps you should find a thread better suited to you. I'm very self-aware and have pointed out that I have fucked up. Your contribution to my thread and those of others usually involve few syllable words and zero support or information. I gather that's just your online persona and I don't care. Enjoy it whilst it lasts. Leave my thread if it upsets you that much.

Self aware ? Ok.

123beanie I agree with you and also the PP that said this ship might have sailed. I will kick myself over this for a while to come but I've learned a huge lesson here.

If you were self aware you wouldn't have behaved like a twat in the first place.

AnyFuck I won't engage with you any more. I've often thought you to be very goady. No substance about anything. Take care. Hope in your life is ok - not healthy to pretend to be something online when you basically just aren't.