How would one discover a secret house that someone owned?

[helpmeseethewoods]

I know you can do a search on the Land Registry on a property, but can you do one on a person?

Yes I think the having completely joint accounts - and knowledge of all accounts -would be very difficult for him. Also because he runs various businesses. And he wants to operate in the way that he wants to. Sees himself as an independent lone ranger. Does not want to share decisions of that time or have someone tell him what to do / hold him back.

joysmum yes I don't know about a credit check. When it comes to that part of things, I will ask the solicitor. She seemed to think that things like forensic accountants would be very expensive. Also can you imagine trying to live with someone while they know that is happening ?

I guess I can only cope with one thing at a time.

You need to discuss this with your solicitor. If he is secretly buying a property, he is disposing of assets (ie. cash) and acquiring hidden assets (the secret property).

Have a look at this:

www.divorce.co.uk/your-finances/hidden-assets-on-divorce

If you think your spouse may try to dispose of assets, you need to act quickly. Take legal help straight away and act decisively. The courts can intervene in three basic ways:

An order under section 37 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 - there are two types of order under this provision. First, an order preventing the disposal of assets that might be about to take place and which would prejudice the applicant. Secondly, an order requiring assets that have already been disposed of to be transferred back.

The freezing order - this is very similar to the first type of section 37 order but has wider application in that it prevents the disposal of assets. However, the powers of the court with a freezing order are more extensive: they extend to assets abroad and prevention of the disposal of assets that have not actually come into existence yet, for example a pension that is about to be paid out.

Search orders (previously known as Anton Pillar orders) – used rarely, but can be extremely effective in getting information about assets that have been hidden. They are very expensive to get and implement and are likely to be appropriate only in cases involving very serious non-disclosure and where there is a lot of money at stake

In practical terms, if he is in the process of buying a property he will need to be "doing certain things" - ie. having contact with a conveyancing solicitor, speaking to the bank etc. You could try sleuthing around his phone to see what numbers he is calling and see if any of them are solicitors.

If he is going to view properties, then old fashioned following him may help flush it out.

If he has bought it already, he will need to set up DD for payment of mortgage (assuming not full cash buy) and utilities - so does he have a secret bank account?

There are limits to what you can get yourself and even if you do, what is admissible in court. Running off with his laptop is unlawful and won't help. Speak to a specialist divorce lawyer with experience of asset concealment.

The last bit is important - this isn't just bog standard high street firm stuff. High net worth divorces can get very nasty. As you would expect, aggressive intelligent high earning men are no fools and can quite easily hide stuff. You need lawyers who have seen these kind of tricks before and know how to go about dealing with it.

Thanks cheers. He isn't high earning, but does juggle a lot of things. I don't think he would come under category 3.

I am not sure how he would buy another property. Whether it would be mortgaged or not. I don't have access to any of his accounts.

The way to get "access" to his accounts is to divorce him

And those benchmarks for a relationship you would present him with ?

They should be a given. If you have to force him to do any of those things they have no sustainable worth in them

Yes I know. I would say them to him one last time. I realise it's a hiding to not much. I can see how I would never really trust him. And I can't see how he would control a sometimes short temper that he has had all his Iife.

We had a massive crisis 2 years ago that almost lead to separation. He did improve his behaviour for a bit after that, but it reverted back.

Thanks for helping me clarify my thoughts AF.

If nothing else, separation would make me feel that I was fully in charge of my environment. Which would be nice. No worrying that H is going to have a go about this, that or the other.

You are hoping that if only you can just work out a way to explain really clearly to him what your needs are then he will finally "get it" and be the husband and father you all deserve.

He won't have an epiphany though. You are trying to change who he fundamentally is as a person. In giving more and more of yourself to this situation you are simply giving him more and more time to screw you over. I can promise you things won't get better until you are free of him.

I am very sorry I upset you earlier

You are probably right tempus. I have explained unti I am blue in the face.

It's fine AF .

I know I am right

I get that it's difficult and scary, it took me a while to leave my abusive exH because I was worried about leaving my dogs and my job and the house I loved. Seven years on and I'm now remarried to a man who doesn't need to be told to love and respect me, he just does. It's so liberating to finally live my life knowing that someone has got my back rather than trying to stab me in the back.

Woods I have no wish to lecture you because I feel very sorry for the unhappy situation you're living through. However, you really need to listen and take in the plain speaking advice that people are giving you because you just keep wishing things will be different and the only way they're ever going to be different is by your own actions. You can't change him or what he does. You've proven that he regresses from even a small step to change.

I recognize you from previous threads and I hardly ever recognize anyone or their past problems.

This is groundhog day and it's your day in and day out life. As soon as you put steps in motion, it will pick up. It will be hard too, no one's denying that. But if you don't press on, this time next year and the year after, nothing will have improved for you. It may even be worse should your H decide to move on. With him being so secretive, you just can't know.

One thing I picked up on is that your solicitor sounds rather negative to me, is she perhaps out of her depth? Yes, a forensic accountant would be expensive, but if it's what you need, then it could be a sensible investment.

I think we need to separate yes, do I want to - no - I would much rather things were better
See the above. Wishing and hoping isn't getting you anywhere my love.
Do what you can for a better life and peace of mind. There are lots of people on these boards to support you through that, but they can't do it for you

Thanks for your messages enrique and tempus. I am glad you are in a better place tempus.

How expensive would a forensic accountant be enrique? Does the other person know they are being "forensically accounted"?

She doesn't seem out of her depth (the solicitor). Maybe she is taking thing one step at a time? I might drop her an email asking her a bit more about forensic accountants. She was easy to talk to, seemed unphased by what I told her about how stubborn H is, and helped me feel much more positive (for the 45 minutes until I got home).

things

Once you file for divorce, if he starts off loading property, then he will be deemed to be intentionally depriving himself of assets. Won't go down well with court.

So sooner you start the process, the more protected you are.

A forensic accountant would be in the thousands rather than the hundreds of £s. Whether or not it's worth it depends on how much you think he's hiding in assets and how certain you are of them.

Best thing to do IMO is to get the ball rolling with divorce so you can see what he puts on his form E and go from there.

I'm afraid I couldn't answer your questions on cost and procedure Woods
It's a how long is a piece of string situation. Location, experience and the time needed on your case would all affect the pricing structure.

If you feel confident with your solicitor drop her a line and ask if she has a forensic accountant she works with and what the costs are likely to be, would they quote a fixed fee or if not, how does it work?
There is some background information here www.accountingevidence.com/documents/articles/Forensic%20accountant1.pdf and also other sites if you Google uk forensic accountant cost or similar phrases.

You've probably answered this before, but you do guard your privacy on your internet enabled devices don't you? delete cookies, use private browsing only, don't save your log in details and be very careful about linked devices which can show up recent browser searches on all devices not just the one you've been using. All that kind of thing. Be careful.