Can't sleep.. I think DH has a second phone

[OhMyNameChange]

Name changed. I've posted how I'm struggling to move on from DH.

Quick background - been together nearly 10 years, 2 children (2&5). Last September he told me he didn't love me anymore - did the whole script. Moved back to his moms. After searching through his phone bills etc I found out he was having an emotional affair with someone from work. I begged him to come back, he came back in December with Xmas approaching saying he wanted to try give it another go. I then found out he had been out with OW behind my back. I confronted him & he told me he thinks he loves her, but insisted she isn't interested in him like that but can't help how he feels. I was/am heartbroken. So a few weeks later I STILL let him live back with me because I desperately wanted it to work (I know, someone give me a shake). He is still being off saying he doesn't know if he loves me & feels trapped. He no longer has whatsapp, snap chat or FB. He still works at the same place but claims they haven't spoken since I text her asking what she was doing going out with a married man etc (she told me there was nothing between her n my DH🙄).

So what makes me now think another phone?

1. When he gets in his car for work he seems to be sitting on th drive doing something in his car for 1-3 mins instead of just driving straight off

1. I got in his car the other day and his old phone charger (from when his phone broke) was in the passenger door pocket. I said to him "why is this here?" And he said "it's my old phone charger I found it when I was clearing out my car the other day".

1. His phone went flat yesterday & he never bothered to charge it all day

1. He usually leaves his phone on charge at night. He's stopped doing this. I've noticed his charger in his coat pocket so I had a look.. And the wire plugged in to the charger doesn't look like his HTC charger wire but I'm not 100%. The wire says "Belkin" yet he has a HTC?

I need to get in his car some how and see if that "old phone charger" has moved from the passenger door. I'm going crazy but something isn't sitting right with me. I hope I am right so it explains his horrible behaviour.

*on

OP things aren't going to get better. Do you not think you deserve better? File for divorce and do whatever you can to get him to leave. Take back the control and you'll feel better

Oh and talk to your Uni tutor about this homelike crisis. Don't ghrow away your hard work

Throw!!!!!

Example of what he is like - yesterday - he left for work at 7.30am - worked till 5 - went straight to football from work - stayed for a few drinks and didn't come home till 9pm. Did not say a word to me all day (he used to text or call) - not even asking me how our boys are. Comes back - I ask him when he comes up stairs "what are u doing why have U come bk here just go" and his response "why what have I done wrong" - he then proceeds to lie horizontal across the bottom of the bed. I tell him to move. He then lies on the floor. I ask him wtf is wrong with u and how much has he drank (baring in mind he was driving) - he said two pints but hadn't eaten all day. He then came to bed and went sleep - got up this morning and resentfully gave me a kiss goodbye.

Leave him.

He may have a second phone

Regardless of that he came back to you because OW won't have him. Don't put up with him. Find the strength to move on he's using you.

This is no way to live.

Call that two pints at least 4 and on an empty stomach his is over the drink drive limit

He is going to drag all of you down. Get a divorce and maintenance payments under way before you find his ridiculous mid life crisis sees all of you dragged into the gutter

OP this heart breaking to read.

Why wallow about in the tatters of this relationship any longer? You KNOW you would be happier apart - make it happen. Like pulling off a plaster.

He's not your DH any more. He's a bloke who wants to be elsewhere and is not your friend or ally any more.

Go and see a solicitor and tell him he has to go Definitely no more sleeping in the same bed!

We are still so so young and achieved so much I just don't get why be wants to throw it all away. Our house is worth 230k and he said he doesn't want anything from it and he doesn't care as long as he's happy again. Why has it had to come to this. How can I make him leave.

I'm just on my way to my first counselling appointment..

File for divorce. . He will realise staying there is futile. I hope you aren't doing his washing /ironing or making him meals? Get your ducks in a row as they say. .

And yes my uni know what's going on as I've failed one module - they are the ones who have set the counselling up as they say it's quicker than waiting for my GP

I don't cook for him no as he's rarely there - but the other day I washed some clothes - he hung up his own stuff and left mine and our kids stuff in the washing machine wet the cunt

this is no way to live. Love, it's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be nice having a partner.

What the fuck are you doing here? What's the point?

Out of counselling, going back in 3 weeks. She basically told me to focus on myself and my boys and live in the moment as I can't control anyone.