I cheated on my husband of 6 months - but I want to fix our marriage desperately

[tac995]

Hi guys,

My husband recently found out that I have been cheating on him.

We're both quite young (I'm 22 and he is 25) and we got married last July after being together for many happy years (since I was 16 basically). We have never had any major issues in our relationship and we were delighted to finally tie the knot in 2016.

In October, I moved to Paris for a few months to study abroad and this is where I ended up meeting a guy towards the last few weeks of my time there and ended up sleeping with him. It became a regular affair that lasted for about 3 weeks. I was guilty and ashamed of my actions but being so far away from my husband I was able to all too easily shy away from the reality and consequences of what I was doing. I was not emotionally involved with this guy, in fact from the moment my husband found out I had no qualms in cutting all connections with this other man. My only concern has since been helping mend my husband's broken heart.

He found out after reading texts from my phone and I made the foolish mistake of lying to him repeatedly after he found out in a botched attempt to spare him further pain by hiding the full truth. I know now that full honesty is what he needs/needed then.

I want more than anything to help mend our relationship but we are both confused. We still love each other very much and although his initial stance was to divorce me immediately, he has also since agreed that he is not ready to let go of what we have. I believe he too wants to fix our relationship but neither of us really know how to. I know he wants answers and tangible solutions from me but I'm lost as to what to offer him.

I have been constantly apologising to him, treating him with love and kindness, trying to be as completely honest as I can and doing everything to make him feel secure in our relationship. I really don't want to lose him for this cruel and selfish thing I did.

Has anyone been in the same position as me? Trying to make amends after having cheated on a loved one?

Any insight or advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

Something definitely fishy about these husband /wife threads.
BUT, let's assume it was all above board, I can genuinely say that if I were your husband, I would be very wary of you. I don't think I'd ever feel assured of your fidelity on the grounds of how callously and unremorselessly you cheated on me and I definitely wouldn't see us growing old together. Just my two penneth

1/10 on the other thread.

Do you have anything better?

Clearly a troll you've name changed to post on your "husbands" thread and didn't name change correctly back on this thread epic fail 1/10

SmileEachDay- hang on, we'll get a pregnancy announcement very soon to spice things up

Ooh. May I be the first to say POAS.

Those new fangled digital ones are super sensitive - I heard that if you put it next to you whilst having fuck it divorce sex it beeps if there's conception.

Well isn't your posting just lovely and eloquent and devoid of emotion that you would expect people to be having going through this.

What a load of utter nonsense. Honestly what do people who do this get out of it? I really don't get it. Is it just massive attention seeking?

at your DH on his thread

Honestly I would advise you to get divorced. You don't have any kids so you can make a clean break. In most cases of cheating I've seen on here, it very often happens when people have small children which can put massive strain on a marriage. Your brand new marriage did not have this strain, at 4-6 months in, neither of you should have even considered cheating even if Brad Pitt came knocking at your door begging for some action!

Oh and i meant to add that statistically, a marriage is significantly more likely to withstand a single affair if the couple have been married more than 10 years

Mn why aren't you on this the trolls are killing your site.

I actually think the two threads are a dm reporter, the style of writing just doesn't ring true for a couple going through turmoil. A nod to religion and suddenly after lots of in depth advice re which prayers and next the H isn't really religious etc. Nah its a reporter fishing is my conclusion

Laaame