I sent a valentines card ...

[ByronBaby]

On Valentine's Day I sent a card to someone I know only a little - completely anonymous, just reading 'be my valentine'. This was a totally spur of the moment thing - I made it myself as a little piece of origami (I know that he likes Japanese stuff) and popped it in his letter box. Now I am usually quite reserved and this is quite a departure for me. I have just come out of a hideous year after my marriage fell apart and I want to be more forthcoming in how I deal with others. I have not received or sent a valentines card in a long long time. This man is single, although he has been previously married and is a little older then me. He interests me because he has a really kind face, he seems like a lovely relaxed person and I have witnessed him being really kind to my kids at a local sports event. Now I doubt he has guessed that the card is from me as we really only know each other in passing. I have quite a creative job and I thought that the card itself might give him a clue, but. I saw him this evening briefly and he gave no indication that he might have any suspicions. I suppose that I would quite like him to have his suspicions to see if he might be a bit interested in me, but I don't think this is going to happen without me taking another step. Any advice!

Why don't you ask him if he received anything for Valentines day with a cheeky wink ;) How cute of you. He sounds lovely :)

Just ask him out! It's 2017, women are allowed to do that.

You are clearly a thoughtful, caring and romantic person OP. Like everyone you deserve to be happy so why not simply ask this man if he would like to go for a coffee.

Lovely he may be but he might not be psychic or good enough at cryptic crosswords to figure out you might want to date him!

Life is too short for chess.

I don't necessarily want to date him. Just get to know him a bit better and give him a chance to get to know me! I guess that I am nervous about being brushed off and/ or hurt. It has been sooo many years since I have been in this position, I am woefully ill prepared! And. I guess I am nervous that I am not enough of a looker to get past the stage where someone might be attracted to me. I actually don't know if I am brave enough to front up and ask him out.

And I have not been in a dating position since ... um. .. 1991!

If you were brave enough to make and send the card you can be brave enough to ask him if he got it. I doubt if he'd raise it with you just in case you didn't send it an he comes over as a dirty old man. Ask him, it may be the best thing you ever did. If it works out - great; if not well you've got to start somewhere when it comes to getting out there again.

you have done something lovely already OP, of course you can do it again !
Next time you see him - I guess you see him once a week on DC activities ? - start a chat and then drop in the question if he had any Card as PP suggested

I think I would say : Sooooo how many cards did you get through your letter box last week ? stare and grin

remember OP, flattery always goes a really long way with most people
and we all love a confident and secret approach

discreet !!!! not secret, doh

Aw that's so cute. If you are scared to ask him directly, I know I would be you could send another card of the same kind asking him for a coffee etc with your name on this time!

I actually don't know if I am brave enough to front up and ask him out.

Many men have similar insecurities and fears, many don't see subtle clues, if you don't want to ask him out maybe say hi when you next see him and spark up a conversation see how it goes.

You could always ask him his hobbies then tell him you like origami and making greetings cards.

Oh and make up some cards with your number on that way if he ask further you can give him one.

Origami your photograph and post him that

Dating IS getting to know someone. that's what a date is.

Go for it go spend time with him. If you like it spend MORE time with him.

He'd be lucky to have a date with you. You sound great.

Oh this post has made me smile! How cute are you! Could you hand him a card in an envelope at a place where you regularly meet/run into each other? Tell him in that card that the VAlentine's Day greetings wee from you and would he fancy a coffee?

Erm, not sure I agree with everyone here. A valentine can be construed as quite a big declaration. Ie in madly in love with you kind of thing.

But you aren't madly in love with him, you just like the look of him. Get to know him first, then perhaps later on you can fess up.

Dread cute gesture. He'd be lucky to have you.

Dead not dread!

Aww that's such a lovely gesture OP. Just start a convo with him and get onto the subject of v day. It will be obvious enough to let him know it was you, but less awkward than asking him out to his face. If he wants to pursue it he can then let you know.

good luck

I agree with a pp who says that a valentine can be construed as a BIG declaration.

I'd hold off on announcing it was from you before you get to know him. I think asking him out is less potentially frightening than saying 'the oragami was from me'

if you get chatting and he asks you a question you can exhale and laugh and say ''the answer to that question requires a bottle of wine and two glasses''

I need to learn oragami by next year! It's a lovely idea!

Say "hey, you like Japanese stuff don't you? I fancy trying restaurant but none of my friends fancy it - want to give it a try?"

Then get to know him over dinner.

If he's shaping us up, make the same origami design with the bill when it arrives, and casually place it on the table when done.

Sooooooo...... ????

Some great ideas. Sorry about the silence. I have been in bed! ( different time zone). I would like to find a way to get to know him and that is my problem. I run into him once a week, five minutes max. We have a cursory conversation and that's it. I have usually been for a run whilst my kids are doing their sport and so am red of face and a bit breathless. I am not even sure that he knows that I am single. We had longer conversations a couple of months ago when he fixed my watch for me, but how many watches can you have that need fixing?! The Japanese restaurant idea made me smile a bit. We live in a remote place. Nearest Japanese restaurant would be a plane ride away! great idea in more usual circumstances though.