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Original poster

I sent a valentines card ...

59 replies

ByronBaby · 16/02/2017 10:00

On Valentine's Day I sent a card to someone I know only a little - completely anonymous, just reading 'be my valentine'. This was a totally spur of the moment thing - I made it myself as a little piece of origami (I know that he likes Japanese stuff) and popped it in his letter box. Now I am usually quite reserved and this is quite a departure for me. I have just come out of a hideous year after my marriage fell apart and I want to be more forthcoming in how I deal with others. I have not received or sent a valentines card in a long long time. This man is single, although he has been previously married and is a little older then me. He interests me because he has a really kind face, he seems like a lovely relaxed person and I have witnessed him being really kind to my kids at a local sports event. Now I doubt he has guessed that the card is from me as we really only know each other in passing. I have quite a creative job and I thought that the card itself might give him a clue, but. I saw him this evening briefly and he gave no indication that he might have any suspicions. I suppose that I would quite like him to have his suspicions to see if he might be a bit interested in me, but I don't think this is going to happen without me taking another step. Any advice!

OP posts:
springydaffs · 16/02/2017 18:41

Perhaps you need to faint when you see him next. Or pull a muscle and howl on the floor type of thing. See what he does

(I know someone who did this. Last I heard they'd been going for years.)

DrMorbius · 16/02/2017 19:00

I'd hold off on announcing it was from you before you get to know him.

I totally disagree. If a woman sent me a Valentine's card, I would want her to let me know who she is.

Op, ask him if he liked his Valentine's card, that will spark the conversation that you sent it. Tell him "he seems a nice guy and you would like to get to know him". He will be over the moon, even if only friendship develops.

AutumnRose1988 · 16/02/2017 19:05

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PyongyangKipperbang · 17/02/2017 01:18

"Did you get any Valentines cards?!" wink wink

Either he crosses the street every time he sees you from now on, or he is chuffed and you start to get to know each other.

Either way...job done!

Original poster
ByronBaby · 17/02/2017 02:22

Hair flicking . I am laughing at that. I am so not a hair flicker!

OP posts:
HarmlessChap · 17/02/2017 11:16

So no directly asking him out, no hair flicking presumably no other signs of flirting either? You sent him a card but it doesn't seem like you've giving him any clue as to who sent it and he might not even know that you're single.

Unless he is psychic I think you're going to have to step out of your comfort zone here, good luck.

AutumnRose1988 · 17/02/2017 19:56

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HarmlessChap · 17/02/2017 20:56

Harmlesschap are you a male person lol x suggestions on flirtation tactics please xx

I am and most guys I know are crap at recognising what is flirty and what is friendly with any level of certainty, apart from the players that is. She'd be better off frank than trying to say something through the medium of interpretive dance Grin

"Hi, look, you seem really nice, if you'd like to grab a coffee some time give me a call." - Hand him a small card with name & number which maybe has some similarities to the valentines card, wonder off, make sure phone is fully charged......

Original poster
ByronBaby · 18/02/2017 02:45

Fair enough. I do need to be more blatant. I have a plan for next week when I am likely to run into him..

OP posts:
NC1nightstand · 18/02/2017 03:32

In my younger days I would have gone with many of the suggestions further up the thread but I really like the simplicity and directness of HarmlessChap
I'm going to mentally bookmark it in case things don't work out with DHGrin
Seriously though, I am very excited to find out what you do next OP, please agree to keep us updated -and not to mind me vicariously living through you!-

DrMorbius · 18/02/2017 07:46

I have a plan for next week when I am likely to run into him

Is the plan so cunning, you could stick a tail on it and call it a fox GrinGrin?

Seriously if a woman starting flicking her hair at me or some other visual flirting I would assume she some "tick". Just tell him you sent the gift as he seems like a nice guy. Over complicating it will put him gf. Good luck Wink

AutumnRose1988 · 18/02/2017 08:15

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DrMorbius · 18/02/2017 09:36

That's the problem Autumn if a woman does subtle 99.999999% of blokes will totally miss it. Anything more noticeable and you run the risk of looking like Jack Douglas from the Carry On films shows my age now Blush

EightiethElement · 18/02/2017 09:45

I was watching a clip on you tube about body language and apparently men miss 3 out of every five of the signals. But so many of the signals are involuntary, it was shocking, if a man knew how to read them, he could read you like a book, I know I've done the touching that 'dip' between your collar bones when answering a question on a date. I HAVE leaned forward to hear men I'm not attracted to. Because you still have to hear what they're saying. I went to dinner with a man a while back ago and he read that I fancied him and I can only think it was because I was leaning forward. I had said 'sorry?' a few times though.

EightiethElement · 18/02/2017 09:48

ByronBaby, you will be sending signals without even being consciously aware of it!

HarmlessChap · 18/02/2017 09:54

Good luck OP, I hope it works out for you and if it doesn't at least you'll have tried.

AdneyOnPeas · 18/02/2017 10:09

You've had conversations enough to know he's single, previously married etc. You obviously know where he lives to have put the card through. You've been bold and sent a Valentines (love the origami card idea!) I think you know him well enough then to be brave and progress things a bit. Is there a coffee shop you could ask him to? Art gallery? Mutually interesting stuff? Does he run too?

Whisky2014 · 18/02/2017 12:43

Marking place for hot date update!

AutumnRose1988 · 20/02/2017 06:32

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Original poster
ByronBaby · 07/04/2017 03:28

Update

Plan didn't work. So I sent him a text and asked him out. We went out for drinks a couple of days ago. I confessed to the card. He said it completely made his week. He sent me a text to say how much he had enjoyed my company. I am away now for three weeks, but I am hoping to pick this up when I get back.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 07/04/2017 04:33

Oooo that's an exciting update!

What did you reply to the text?

AutumnRose1988 · 07/04/2017 06:13

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GoodYarns · 07/04/2017 06:17

Love this! Have fun Smile

helhathnofury · 07/04/2017 06:32

Brilliant, well done you, very brave.

sucue · 07/04/2017 09:17

Smashing.

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