DH finds a celebrity more attractive than me.

[relationshipsnc]

I had no clue how to write the title? I know she's more attractive than me, so have no issue with him pointing that out. I'm sure in our marriage I've said someone is handsome, etc.

However, he has recently commented on a meme of her on Facebook. Tagging his friend and saying "if I weren't married... ;)" and I just don't appreciate that. Am I being over sensitive? He 'jokingly' says he'd swap me for her any day of the week and when I don't laugh, claims it's just a joke, etc.

How often does he make these comments? If it was once/twice and you asked him not to as you didn't find it funny, then he continued with his so-called-banter. (which basically translates to I can say whatever I damn well please and pass it off as banter) I would be less than amused. I would also start to think/feel that my feelings were irrelevant to him.

It ain't funny or banter if the comments hurt someone...or at another's expense.

These might only be pixels being commented on, however, the person is real, I'd imagine OP must feel like she's in some kind of warped beauty competition...every bit of her is being compared/judged/rated.

I think most people have a celebrity they like and joke they'd leave their DP for.

Nope, not in this house.

It would upset me too OP.

It would upset me that I had chosen such a shallow insensitive man.

I think most people have a celebrity they like and joke they'd leave their DP for.

Not in this house either.

It' a nasty thing to say, bloody nasty. It's okay to fancy a celeb, it's not okay to humiliate and belittle your partner.

I am shocked at all the man pleasers on this thread.

I think he is being not only childish but totally disrespectful to you with the banter. "If I was not married" I would be really annoyed and embarrassed by this.
I understand people can be married and find others attractive there is nothing wrong with showing appreciation but not to the detriment of your partner.
Sounds like he needs to grow up

LOL!
I find many celebrities more atteactive than DH.
Doesn't mean i'd have a chance to swap him for Jason Statham or anyone else famous

I think (and admittedly I am now over-thinking) there's a significant difference between

'Ooh she's beautiful'

And

'If I weren't married I'd fuck her'

The second implies a level of regret at having married the woman you did, because there's something 'better' out there. Also making it explicitly about fucking (rather than 'golly she's attractive') is a bald statement that the person saying it actively fantasises about sex with other people, which is probably perfectly common but lots of people don't particularly like to be reminded that their partner is doing it.

Obviously every relationship is different and some couples are genuinely relaxed about this stuff which is fine. But it's not over-sensitive to say something if it upsets you. Whether your partner is generous and caring enough to be considerate about your feelings is the key thing. The same people who wouldn't be at all upset by what the OP's DH posted on Facebook will have sensitivities and touchy spots that they expect their partners to respect.

'If I weren't married I'd fuck her'

Yeah, right, like if a famous/beautiful/rich woman would take a stupid knob

Yeah but that's not what's upsetting the OP. She's not frightened that Beyoncé will steal her DH. She's upset and embarrassed that her DH has made a public statement that there are other women he'd like to fuck. Not unreasonably, she wants him to be the kind of man who posts on Facebook to say 'my beautiful wife, who has been my dream woman since before I met her, is about to have our child and I love her to pieces'.

And then we could all post on Mumsnet about how FB posts like that make us want to vomit

I think on threads like these people like to project their own insecurities... a lot!

I'm sure there are other people we all find attractive... celebrities or not . Implying he meant he wanted to fuck the celebrity with his comment ... doesn't mean he regrets marrying his wife or that he is no longer attracted to her.

I'm sure there are plenty of attractive people we would all fuck! But I'll assume there is much more to relationships than physical attraction.

OP speak to your husband... and let him know clearly how you feel & why.

I wouldn't like it OP. It's posting it publicly that makes a mug of you. He's being a twat.

I'm sure there are plenty of attractive people we would all fuck!

If we were single.

Physical attraction is not a top priority for me.

I do have insecurities on this sort of thing, I'm out and proud about it Over the years I've learned it's just the way I am and that for me to be happy and secure, I need my partner to be very vocal about how I'm the only woman he notices. I know rationally that this probably isn't the case, but hearing him say it regularly to me and to all and sundry makes me happy.

It's ok to be insecure. It's pretty common and human. Other things that other people are sensitive about wouldn't bother me at all (e.g. my partner often gets called away on business at short notice and usually travels with a woman colleague. doesn't bother me in the slightest)

The point is, it's ok to know what you need to be happy, and to expect your partner to want to do the things that make you happy and to not do the things that make you unhappy. Otherwise what are we with them for?

"If I weren't married" is not uncommon.

I would not particularly enjoy being friends with someone who thought that was a funny or clever or interesting thing to say, but there are plenty of them around.

My husband would definitely think most celebrities were better looking than me (possibly not Miriam Margoyles, Jo Brand or Clarissa D-W). He told me yesterday (a bit randomly as we were eating prawn filled baked potatoes) " I love you. I do know how lucky I am". Now he was either hoping for a bit of excitement or he was telling the truth. He loves me not Keira Knightly nor Julia Roberts, not anyone but me. There is a huge difference between love and thinking someone is pretty. You are overthinking,

I'd swap my OH for any of the England Rugby team.

What, even Mike Brown? Jeez your poor DH must have terrible self esteem

You're 6 months pregnant and he's making comments like that on Facebook?!

It's the public nature of the comments that would really bother me. Between the two of us, DH and I might joke about finding actors attractive, but we can keep it lighthearted and affectionate and pick up on cues from the other person to tone it down or reassure them if necessary. But if DH posted a comment like that on FB I'd feel humiliated and upset.

It's hard enough being pregnant and coping with all the changes to your body and hormones without your partner being insensitive.

You should have replied to his 'if I wasn't married' with 'you still wouldn't get anywhere near her or near any other woman with eyes for that matter, I was having an off day when I met you lol!' Yeah who's laughing now.

You're not irrational or hormonal he sounds quite pathetic actually

I threaten regularly that if Marti Pellow knocked on my door for a debauched night of passion, I would pack DH's overnight bag and send him off for the night - of course I wouldn't really, just like he would run a mile if Natalie Imbruglia came on to him. Not that either of us are likely to be in that position.

DH would never talk about celebrities he fancied. I'm not naive enough to think he only fancies me and no one else, but he's decent enough not to rub it in my face. Ditto I would never talk to him about celebrities either, except to say something like "he's alright looking" or whatever.

It's just kindness to your partner really. I would feel upset in your situation too.

It's one thing to fancy a celebrity, that's fine and perfectly normal. I tell my husband who I fancy and he does to me....

BUT, I would never say I found someone more attractive than him and he would never say the same to me. That's the difference here and you have every right to be pissed off.

I would swap DH for a fair few celebrities. However I keep my thoughts to myself.
Everyone fancies other people and maybe has a glance at attractive people occasionally. No need for more OH's to have more information than that. It's a bit disrespectful and possibly goady.

I don't have any insecurities about this kind of thing but I would not appreciate my husband signalling such disrespect of me on FB.

This incident aside is he normally a massive *&+£? Could you explain how you feel and ask him to stop? I think it's one thing to say it as a joke but writing it on FB is a bit much esp as you are pregnant. Do you think he will stop or is this a symptom of something bigger?