Cheating?

[IWantToWinTheLottery]

I have another post on here and some of the responses have raised more questions surrounding this matter so I thought Id leave another post to get others opinions, just because I'm interested to see what others views on this matter are.
Obviously having sex/sexual contact outside of a monogamous relationship is cheating and since being on mn I've learned about ea but what other actions would you class as cheating /being unfaithful. What do you class as the difference between simply cheating or unacceptable behaviour. For example would you have a problem with you dh/dp watching porn, what the difference between that and cam girls (is it the interactive aspect that then takes it to a different level) Would you be happy with your partner visiting strip clubs/lap dancers, or would it only become unacceptable /cheating if they then paid for a private dance.
Is it that seeking sexual arousal from elsewhere (even if the actual act of sex doesn't occur)is the problem, would this be a deal breaker?

Well yeah that's what strip clubs are for...

Each to their own

I have no interest in men who behave like this. I think they have no respect for women at all.

What do you think about the women who work there? Genuinely curious.

I make no judgement about them. I save that for the punters.

Like any fucker I'm not saying your opinion in wrong, my thread wasn't posted to judge or criticise posters opinions but how can you say that your husband having his sexual needs met anywhere else is cheating but then say it's OK for him to go to strip clubs.
So paying to watch a woman take her clothes off, open her legs and perform in an extremely sexual manner isn't providing him with a sexual service?

I never understand the whole attitude of 'its sexual we were just going for a laugh' '.....then go to a fucking comedy club not a strip bar.

Because A, he wouldn't be involved with that, he would be at the bar doing shots. B, he isn't actually touching anyone and C it's completely one sided even if it were. Strippers are not at all interested in the man, just the money. That's why I don't have a problem. I know what goes on and I'm fine with it. As an ex stripper, I would be a massive hypocrite if I wasn't.

Fear also said she was fine with porn, so I would see this as being consistent. There's no physical contact, it's a visual display.

In fact I don't even know if most men in strip clubs even have a wank, presumably not unless they buy a private dance? Would be kinda weird having a whole table of blokes surreptitiously tugging one out under the table...

Watching porn would not bother me in the slightest. I might even accept a strip club if i was fully aware it was going to happen.
Sexting, web camming etc would not be acceptable at all to me as they are secretive and have more involvement emotionally.

Well not really a hypocrite,I used to do things in my past I wouldn't do now I'm in a relationship, doesn't mean I'm a hypocrite just means my opinion of appropriate behaviour has changed now I'm no longer single.
See my problem would be you don't need to go to a strip bar to drink shots, you do need to go to a strip bar to pay women to take their clothes off.
Why is it OK just because it's one sided, we are talking about our dp's and what sexual stimulation they may be getting not the strippers.
So your limits stop at no touching? Genuine question. He can watch a naked woman, he can look at her between the legs, he can be inches from her breasts, he can be sexually aroused by this real life person smack bang in front of him (that he has paid to watch/see) but as long as there's no touching it's fine?
I admire you're boundaries, like I said I'm not criticising I'm just not sure I could ever feel the same.

My bf knows that I don't imagine (or want) any control regarding his sexual activity. My only asks are that he be available to me when I need his time/attention/support, and that he doesn't rub my nose in any liaisons he may have (i.e., if he wants to see other ladies, don't take them out with mutual friends, don't stand me up or change plans in favour of another lady, etc).

I suppose it boils down to, I require that he demonstrate at all times that I'm his favourite by quite a long way. Which he does. He happens to be a monogamous person by nature, but if he ended up one day meeting a lady that he liked, either she would fit into/around our relationship (in which case it would continue), or she wouldn't (in which case, one of us would, presumably, bow out). Simple really.

I typically don't get along well with men who use sex workers, commercial pornography, etc., so it's a moot point really on that level. If my bf were to use that sort of thing, it wouldn't be my business, but it might change my view of him enough that I lose interest in the relationship - maybe not immediately, but there'd be a drip drip effect imo.

It's all down to how comfortable you are. I trust him entirely and although he's looking at another woman I know he's coming home to me. I also don't make him cover his eye when someone gets their tits out in tv. He was also absolutely fine with me licking cream off a male stripper at a hen party.

My line personally? If dh went on a lads trip to Amsterdam that would be it. And he'd feel the same vice versa.

I don't really understand why you have started another thread about this.

Your DP is a sharer of porn videos on his mobile phone, has "laddy" mates and you are clear that he is going to Amsterdam for the sex worker aspect rather than to see the many other attractions that the city has to offer.

Either this is acceptable to you or it isn't? What other users would accept can't possibly be relevant. You obviously aren't cool with it or you wouldn't have posted about it once, let alone twice.

FWIW I agree with AnyFucker

Your DP sounds like a creep.

Cover his eyes lol... Imaging.....Quick babes there's a titty on TV, close your eyes.
I don't have a problem with porn I've watched it in relationships and alone. Together and apart, for me I think that it's the real life woman where my boundaries lie. Paying for someone else to make them feel how I make them feel, having that exciting sexy moment with someone other than me in real life. May make me a crazy woman buts that's definitely a deal breaker.
The stamp, horses for courses and all that, you must be the most unjealous person ever. Just out of interest does your view work both ways, do you sleep with others and are you aware if he has actually had other partners, we're you able to keep your views on the matter without even getting a little bit angry.

Sophiestew you sound very angry, I'm sorry about that my initial post was asking whether I was being unreasonable. As this post explains, it has raised questions for me on others opinions and clarified boundaries I thought I would like to discuss further.
My dp is not a sleaze and doesn't share porn online, maybe you should infact share your points accurately prior to posting insults.
My dp may be visiting Amsterdam and that may involve strip clubs, as does many of other people's trips to Amsterdam, doesn't necessarily make them all sleaze. I'm not sure why you bothered to post on this thread if it bores you so much, I on the other hand have found others views on the subject in general pretty interesting, however should you not agree feel free to go post on another thread.

Porn wouldn't be an issue, neither would a strip club. I don't even think a lap dance would bother me too much (may be).
Cam girls and sexting other women would be a problem. I think the potential for emotional attachment would be more upsetting to me.

Do you women who are OK with their partners punting simply ignore the immorality of it ?

To be honest, I think I would expect my husband to end up in a strip club on a stag do to Amsterdam.

OP this is the second thread you have started about this issue, and on both, you have ended up projecting your anger about your sleazy boyfriend onto other posters, who clearly wouldn't give a fuck about it.

On your first thread you clearly state that your boyfriend regularly receives porn videos on his phone so don't tell stupid lies about it.

Most of us have higher standards than you do, but nobody here is going to actually be "angry" about whether your boyfriend fucks a sex worker on holiday, and the comments to Fear the Living were just juvenile.

You can keep starting new threads about this, and getting the arse when posters point out that your boyfriend is a turd, but it won't change the fact that he doesn't appear to give a shiny shit what you think. I would have thought that was more important than what internet strangers think.

^^ she has a point, op

I don't think it is immoral. Or I wouldn't have become, and enjoyed being a stripper.

Are you deliberately misunderstanding me, Fear?

I think my stance is quite clear.

I was just answering your question?

You think men paying women for sexual services is a moral act ?

Yes. I'm providing a service, they're paying for it. Same if I was a male stripper and women were paying for me for a dance. I don't suppose you've ever been to a strip club? It's really not what the media and tv make it out to be.