New to this but I will try and explain in as short of a way I can.
I had been with my babies father for 2 years and our little one came along big shock but we got by, 1 year and a half after our baby was born I started back at work I was working long shifts and when I got home my other half was always going out so we where hardly seeing each other. I decided to leave. He continued to try and get me back but I was happy plodding along on my own. 6 months after we split he met a girl, who practically moved in with him before they were even together as she had just split from her bf and he had chucked her out! They where together for a few months and my other half told her to get her own house because he needed space she did this. In Feb last year me and my other half rekindled and it was like love at first sight again, this girl made me feel like I owed her something even though my other half had always said he only wanted his family back... I invited the girl up one night to explain that I was sorry for just appearing and taking back my family which she seemed understanding about. BUT I was wrong behind my back she was constantly messaging him sneaking up to the house when I was at work etc... it got to the point anytime we argued my other half took her to his own home for a fling! It broke my in 2 but I wasn't loosing my family again so I put it at the back of my head the girl then made up a fake facebook telling me he was cheating on me etc and tried to make out that I made the Facebook up myself and I was sending myself messages (I don't think anyone would be as sad to do so) we finally caught her out with doing that and she wasn't happy in the slightest so she called social work and made up this whole lie about how we miss treat our daughter etc... that was put to bed by the social work as they can see that we aren't perfect parents but we do the job that we need to in regards to bringing our little one up so then I found out a few months ago she had been messaging him while he was out drinking with friends he told her to leave him alone but I was so mad so I messaged the girl telling her to leave my family alone to which she replied she has her own man and doesn't want mine (another lie) I let it go but I'm now sitting here wondering what to do as my other half has went away for the weekend with a family member he called me last night and we where chatting away everything was fine I then heard a buzzing I asked what it was and he said it was my fne (it wasnt) he then said it was his and hung up straight away and then txt me saying it wasn't his fne it was the family members so in my head I kept thinking that's not adding up as he would've new straight away if it was the family members so I let it go and went to sleep with our little one. I got up today feeling sick and knew I had to ask questions! A friend of ours had the girl up lastnight and she left abruptly without saying why around the time my other half fne was buzzing so I messaged him asking of it was her! He replied yes it was she was trying to call him he said to leave him alone because it would just call arguments and she questioned how would I find out his reply was no one calls me at this time (us girls know everything) but after he said this he then started telling me he's sick of me and he thinks his time is done with me?? Was I wrong to question this? Is this way of saying he wants her after telling me for months she's "nobody" to him and he's happy with his family. I honestly don't know what to do and tbh my friends aren't much help . Does any one have any help as I feel so lost and isolated, he's due home tonight and I don't know if it's going to be an argument! I'm in the process of booking a holiday for his birthday as well so now I'm wondering was that a waste of money :( any advice would be great. Thanks for reading.
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What should I do :(
Mini1977 · 22/01/2017 16:18
Listen OP, the response here is unaniomous. I read your age and had to write something.
- You are NOT alone. You have a lovely daughter.
- Your rotten other half sounds like utter crap and it is actually him who has less chances of living a meaningful life now than you, considering he is 39 and doing all this dickheadry.
- Your biggest loss would be to raise a daughter who grows up thinking this is how normal men are. This crap will become her normal and that will be your fault.
- You have enough time to go on and start a life all over again. Getting a great degree, sorting your finances and generally becoming a lovely example for your daughter would take roughly 5-8years from now and you will be at your peak at the time.
- Your daughter is so young that nothing will look normal right now but you can date again later and have plenty time for that too.
I strongly suspect this guy knows his own limitations too so he is using you.
Turn the tables. Take control. fuck I sounds like Farage right now
I think previous responses have been harsh.
Of course you're going to want your DD to be comforted, but you've quickly learnt you ex doesn't share those values and finds it more important to hurt you by hurting his daughter than he does to be a good father.
Hopefully you've learnt very quickly about an aspect of him you've not understood before. It's human nature to try to think the best of people, billions of people have stayed in abusive relationships partly for this reason.
You're learning that you ex isn't the man you thought he was and that you need to disengage from him to best protect you and your daughter from him. 
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