Husband doesn't love me anymore

[Jasmine13]

So 2 weeks ago my husband of 6 years told me he didn't love me anymore and wanted to move out. We have a 4 year old to whom he is an amazing dad and who she absolutely adores. He said he has felt like this for a while but tried to carry on but now just doesn't feel like he can do it anymore. I fully accept that things haven't been 'right' for a while but had no idea things had gotten this bad. I love him with all of my heart and have asked him to give it another go and that I will change but he says he has made up his mind. We have only very recently bought our house so he is still living in the house.

I just wanted to know if anyone has been in this situation and what you did. I am praying he will have a change of heart. We have had some financial difficulties recently and also the stress of moving may have just all caught up with him. He says he hasn't met anybody else and I believe him. I have tried talking to him and he says he doesn't fancy me anymore.

I really don't know what to do.

He is in the frame of mind of thinking he is now going to do what he wants for once

Lies. I'm sorry OP he has a marriage and child. The above is bullshit. He HAS someone else.

Let me tell you this - and risk a flaming for it. I said all of this and similar to my ex. And you know what, I, yes ME, I had someone else. (in my defence I'd tried so hard and lived a sexless lie for over a decade)

I said all of the things hes trotted out to you and thought I'd quietly announce a new relationship in a few months time... and I'm sorry, he will too. Don't be taken or have him play the victim seeking 'me time'

You haven't been taking advantage of him by offering no financial help. You have been raising YOUR child and have also been trying to do some work at home, with little results I would guess. lol this bullshit about doing something for him for a change isn't so appropriate once you have a kid. If he wanted to fuck off travelling and record an album or whatever, he should have done it when he was single/not a father.

If you think he needs help, tell him and then leave him to get it or let's his family help him. My guess is he won't listen to you. There may be another woman, he may be depressed, he maybe having a crisis but whatever it is, distance yourself. Look after you and your child. That is the important thing and for gods sake stop blaming yourself.

I'm a bit confused, put me straight but how much does your DC father pay towards childcare whilst he works outside the home?

Time to play hard ball Jasmine. He shouldn't still be in the house unless he is committed on trying to rescue the marriage. As he clearly isn't, but is there just for convenience, then you need to tell him to leave. I know you're convinced there is no OW, but I was exactly in your position. Devoted dad, good husband, suddenly turns round and says didn't love me and wanted us to separate. I too though he was in a mid life crisis. But I was wrong. OW came out of the woodwork not long after we split. Tell him to leave, seek advice from a solicitor about the house situation. Look into any benefits you might be entitled to. You are making it way too easy for him at the moment. He's already made his decision and is just using you as a safe base whilst he plans his next move.

Livelove - op can't just tell him to leave, it's his house too unfortunately. Seek legal advice op to make sure you and your child get the security you need for you future. Be kind to yourself

Obviously lots of posters on here are prepared to go out and damn well find him another woman so that he can move out to her place and they can offer advice!
And of course there could be someone else - or perhaps there has been? Or perhaps he just found himself attracted to someone else and it's made him think about whether the marriage can last.
But maybe there have been problems in your marriage that you haven't wanted to look at? Financial stress brings untold woes, as does midlife regrets etc etc.
So - are you kind to one another? Are you friends. Do you share intimacy? Do you both feel appreciated? If he says he no longer loves you then things must have changed - or is there a reason why he no longer loving you has gone unnoticed?
If he's saying these things but hasn't moved out - it could be financial stress and mental health or the health of your relationship. I hope you get some answers OP. Good luck!

I would also bet money on there being an OW but only because I've seen it in action- until then I wouldn't have always believed it either. Alas I've now seen it time and time again.

But whatever the real reason he needs to sling his hook, OP. Pronto. Him living there means you can't start the process of moving on.

He definitely needs to go. Is he still getting the benefits of a partner? Clean home, cooked meal, family time? He needs to lose these things. If he's in 'a crisis' he'll realise all he's lost and come back and beg forgiveness and maybe, just maybe, you can recover from this. But while he's sitting there with your love, your child's love, your family home and its warmth all around him going "Well, this is a bit shit isn't it?", he's convincing himself he's right.

You ask for help by saying "I'm struggling a bit right now." You don't tell your spouse you don't love them anymore and the family home is to be sold. That's despicable.

He can fuck off and sit by himself in a Premier Inn, or a bedsit, or his own parent's house, and congratulate himself for finally achieving his dreams.