Please tell me I'm not the only one

[CowPatRoberts]

My partner and I have been together for 4 years. At first I was more than happy to take over planning things, organising the house and everything that entailed, but somewhere along the way I've realised that I may be a total and utter mug.

I'll put it clearly- other than the phone bill which every single month has included late fees, I organise everything. Rent, electricity, council tax, food shopping, household items, repairs, literally everything. He is supposed to contribute half but has never ever paid without being prompted. Food shop is planned and executed by me each week and I have yet to see a penny. When we have a lot of late nights (we work very long hours in the City) I organise Hello Fresh or similar. I lend him money which is paid back roughly 50% of the time.

The housework is a constant bone of contention, when it starts getting on top of me I suggest taking an equal share of rooms which we're individually responsible for. He finds reasons for not getting round to it and ultimately doesn't do it properly anyway, and this is not a case of high standards- were talking not washing pots properly so there's still food on them

Writing this out is embarrassing, even more so when I consider the dozen or so other times where I've reached the end of my patience and tried to talk to him about it. Each time I'm rewarded with a list of things which 'I haven't done', despite clearly spending 90 minutes every night cooking and cleaning while he sits playing video games.

It's not that I don't know what to do, I know he's utterly taking the piss I just have no idea of how to handle this. Other than breaking up with him! Does anyone else have experience of this bullshit?

[HerOtherHalf]

What's so wrong eith bresking up with him? OK, you've invested 4 years in this relationship but that time is gone, you can never get it back. Do you really want another 40 years of the ssme shit? Get out and make a better life gor yourself.

[Offmyheadat40]

I'm not having the financial issues you are. We are broke but that's not really the issue. The issue is feeling used. I feel like the person who facilitates everyone else's existence even the ex wife of my fiancee. In fact especially her. I'm not asked to do things I'm told when I'm doing them and generally bexcuse the ex wife is on her 6th boyfriend and is busy using them too. I'm told when I'm pick8ng the step kids up and when I'm taking them home. When I'm covering an inset day or when they are staying for two weeks because the kitchen floor is being done. I don't buy myself anything meanwhile she has her nails done once a week and her hair every two weeks on the money supplied for the kids. We can't even afford to have the heating on. My issue is that my boyfriend doesn't seem to have the backbone to stand up to her. She has offered to pay for his new driving licence and he can't see that it's just an investment so that he will owe that for the rest of our lives fetching and carrying things she hasn't got time to do. It's driving me nuts as I feel on my own. Other people tell you to leave etc give ultimatumsome but I do love my boyfriend. It's just getting very difficult to stay in that mode when you feel like saying sod off I had a life before you lot took over it. I know I'd be better off alone but we have a baby girl, well 2 and a half years old. I feel like we are getting nowhere fast. Mainly because I come last on this to do list. I may be jealous but honestly I lost my identity ages ago and don't seem to have the guts I used to have to tell people to get lost no matter what they thought of me. Now I have to care because all the batching goes on behind my back. I know this isn't exactly related to financial abuse but it is related to being expected to sort everyone else out and forget yourself

[Creampastry]

Whose house it is? Can you kick him out?