Sister cut me out of her life over baby shower

[Quarksoundslikequack]

So me and my sister haven't had the best relationship over the past 26 years, however after the end of a relationship with my ex.....she somewhat rescued me....the last month or so we've been getting on absolutely amazingly, making plans together the lot!

However, she messaged today because she wanted to see who was arranging my baby shower then which I replied to say she could if she wanted too...she was genuinely excited...then I mentioned not doing it due to my sister in law being there too and they don't get on.

However trying to make sure things didn't kick off, they did!

She's gone mad, told me how she no longer wants to be a part of my life or any of our families lives, solely because ive chosen my sister in law over her??!! I didn't, I just said I'd prefer not to have one simply so there weren't issues and she's gone mad.

Being rejected by my ex hit me hard.....being rejected by my sister too is all the more harder.

She is an attention seeking drama queen, making it all about her. Obviously hating the attention you are getting, she decides to piss on your chips.
To be honest, I think if the baby shower had gone ahead, with her in charge she'd have been expecting your eternal gratitude for ever more.
Don't pander to her.
Her relationship with your SIL is hers to manage.
As is yours with SIL, you sound as you get on well with her,

Just remember, this has been entirely her decision.

She cuts people out on a whim-sneaks back in when they are vulnerable & the person she doesn't like is off the scene-horribly manipulative.

I was doing great without her in my life, I didn't feel the need to have her around & then she got in contact whilst I was practically having a breakdown....I let her in because I needed her, then she does this.

She won't calm down & see she's in the wrong, she will talk about it with her husband & anyone who will listen & as soon as someone agrees with her, they'd have justified her behaviour.

It's the way she works.

Sounds to me like her love and support come with 'conditions'...and not the reasonable ones either.

I'm NC with a narc sibling, but on the odd occasion we're in the same room i manage to keep it civil for others sake....not my sib though, she still has to pout/sulk/huff n puff/make sly digs and create an atmosphere, basically her feelings matter more than anything else.
That's why she's a narc....and i'm NC.

Your sib sounds very similar

" as soon as someone agrees with her, they'd have justified her behaviour."

Except they are probably only making "uhuh" noises to shut her up!

"I was doing great without her in my life,"-and you will do again.

I just feel like I'm losing people....I wouldn't ever have even considered apologising before however right now I feel so horribly low with everything that's gone on that this has tipped me over the edge

Your sister has serious problems. Why does she feel entitled to dictate things like this? Has she always got her own way or something?

Enough of her nonsense. Leave her be and enjoy your pregnancy.

Quark this is not your fault sweetheart

Have you had a look at the stately homes threads? Might be helpful, she sounds toxic

I'm sorry but your sister sounds like a nightmare . Why didn't she like your SIL & your wife ?. Does she have a history of taking offence at people ? Does your sister have many friends ?

"I just feel like I'm losing people."

Well tbh, some people just aren't worth the effort it takes to keep hold of them.

She sounds like she's the black sheep of the family. The family scape goat who's reacted quite emotionally to something she felt was quite loaded.

Can't you invite everyone?

Dear heaven, the woman's totally awful! Controlling, manipulative narcissistic cunt.

Be very grateful that she's decided to cut herself out of your life - saves you the hassle later. Please please reassure me that she at least has no children...

But while I understand that you feel like the loss of your sister again, so soon after the loss of your partner feels devastating, grieve them both together and Let Them Go. They don't love you enough to be nice to you, to be there for you, and to care enough about you NOT to put you through this sort of shit. So let them both go, and stay with the nice people, the grown ups, who DO actually care about you and will help you out, not subject you to High Drama because their will has been flouted "feelings have been hurt".