Husband hiding debt?

[coffeecuppa]

I don't open my husband's post, and he doesn't open mine. The past few months he has been opening his bank statements, saying something like, "I keep telling them I don't need paper statements as I get it all emailed to me," then he rips it up and chucks it in the bin (sometimes straight into the main bin outside).

It happened again today. He was in a lot of debt when we met so I am always wary of him hiding money problems from me. Anyway he's gone out to the pub so I got the statement back out of the bin - it seems he's regularly £200+ into his overdraft (never told me this), is paying £100 for a credit card and £25 a month to Lowell Portfolio (a debt recovery agency I believe?).

My question is: Is £100 a month on a CC and £25 to a debt recovery agency anything to worry about? Do I give him the benefit of the doubt that he's handling things ok, even though he's not being honest?

I have posted about him in the past - we're having problems in general, so not sure if I'm looking for problems where there are none...? Though it seems a bit ridiculous that he's off out to the pub when he has no money, and he was trying to arrange a date night for us yesterday - I told him to cancel because we're saving our money for a family event later this month. Actually, come to think of it, he asked if I had any cash on me that he could take to the pub as he got his PIN wrong today and blocked his card...

Ah, gotcha.

Well, there's been a development. He has been messaging me today and figured out something was wrong. I told him I don't think we can get back to where we were - I first mentioned divorce in November, but we've been on the rocks since September. He is going to book a few days off work and is coming home. I didn't mention any of the stuff I found, I guess there's no need to now. I know, and that's enough. sigh

When splitting assets of a marriage, they are apportioned ONLY to the period of the marriage, ie. in your case 2.5 years. Anything prior to that, is not relevant.

Santander have a great Credit Card on offer - 0% interest for 41 months and NO transfer fee! Could you suggest you saw and advert for that, and thought it would be a great idea to amalgamate all debts on to one card, and suggest a time to sit down and talk about all of the finances.

Don't put your name on it though!

Alternatively - Trust Deed or IVA if it's really bad.....

www.trustdeedscotland.net/tds?gclid=CMv5sZLLvNECFaYy0wod9hIAtw

www.stepchange.org/Howwecanhelpyou/IVAIndividualvoluntaryarrangement.aspx

How easy would it be for you to get back in to work, OP?

Lowell Portfolio are a debt recovery company - they buy old, defaulted debts from other companies (phone, utilities, insurance, banks etc) so unfortunately whatever that debt is it is likely to still be on his credit file as a red default.

However, it's really important it isn't dismissed - just because the default is already there doesn't mean the debt is no longer repayable. That would be statute barred which would mean he would need to have not had any contact about that debt in six years. If the debt is not statute barred you absolutely can still be taken to court regarding it and you remain legally liable.

As a little ray of sunshine though, the simple fact that he is repaying debts (no matter how little) does demonstrate he's taking responsibility. I'd be far more concerned if he wasn't paying anyone anything. It seems to me more like he's embarrassed by the debt and doesn't want you to know even that he's paying back, possibly because of his past. I know you said he's coming home to talk about other issues and it may be that he admits to these debts. Focus on the fact that he has not asked you for money and he is repaying them. The best case scenario is that he's paying £100 towards the £1000 on CC you said he's already acknowledged.

Op he has got wind of the change in you so be prepared for even more devious behaviour but with the charm offensive first, as he won't want his game to be up yet. He has it cushy with you and he knows it.

He will want to rein you back in so be prepared for a sob story and a ''plausible'' story.

But actions speak louder than words and his actions of lying, spending your money on racking up debts and on himself tells you all you need to know.

Expect more bombshells op. Especially what he's been spending the money on.

Did it go ok, op?

Thanks for checking on me Sorrel. I've told him it's all over. I'm staying with my parents for a few days with DS to give him some space. We're going to try to split amicably without too much solicitor involvement. I absolutely do not want to create a situation of contempt, anger or hostility, for DS's sake. I didn't mention that I found evidence of the debt.

He's distraught. Absolutely gutted. Crying, can barely look at DS because he starts tearing up. I feel terrible, but I know it's the right thing to do for me.

Your situation is complicated and you need legal advice.

You are a SAHM and you husband has all the income.

Your child won't be finished her education for 20 years. How likely is it, in your opinion, her father will pay child suport for that long ?

So given this, a court may feel that you need more than 50% of the marital assets.

Please do not try to do this without a SHL.

I'm really sorry that you're going through this but I admire you for tackling it and being strong. Hope that you're coping this weekend.