Interfaith relationship - any experience to share?

[Pannnn]

In this case male (me) Catholic in a relationship with a Muslim woman. It is fairly early days and we talk A LOT about what is important to us. I know about the options of Muslim men and women being different re marriage, and what Islamic writings indicate. I'm also reading more about how these strictures are in fact much more 'moveable' in RL.

I'd be really interested in knowing of anyone's experiences and how things actually worked out for them.
thanks in advance.

No Polly I was asking you to not express your view on her faithfulness. That is not crucial. Nor even asked for.

There seems to be a communication prob. I have said in OP and a couple of times I am aware of the legality Islamically. That isn;t being asked for.

What I am looking for is actually experienced reactions and developments for people who have been married and/or in relationship cross faith. Something like GG's posts?
Not a restatement of information I have said I already know.
thank you.

It is crucial because if she doesn't practice her faith then it can work between you both

By being in a relationship with a non Muslim she is showing a lack of practice. Sex is only permissible in marriage in both your faiths - of course depending on whether you hold true to your faiths

Thank you Polly.

I'd ask you to not express your view on her 'faithfulness' to her faith

I do think it is important though, just as your own strength of religious belief is important. If you are both just in your respective religions because you were born into them, that is not so significant.

What does she think her family will say?

And what does she think she'll say in response?

"I am aware of the legality Islamically"

Nobody is talking about legality here. Is this an English language problem?

Is she a practicing Muslim or not? Does she follow the Quran at the very least? If "yes" to either question, then you have a problem unless you are willing to convert.

If she is not a practicing Muslim, then you don't have to worry about "interfaith" issues, either.

I am coming from a place of experience, by the way. Most of my family are Muslims, at least technically (non-practicing). The ones married to non-Muslims are not practicing Muslims. Yet couldn't care less, tbh.

That is the only way you will have a serious (and/or sexual) relationship with a "Muslim" woman without converting.

unicorn - she isn;t sure, thank you. She thinks I will have to meet her sisters first, and then her brothers. She thinks her sisters will be 'accepting' but still not happy once I meet them. The brothers not so sure. Her parents are both dead.

I would say the fact that you haven't met them and can't meet them... And when you finally do there's an order you will need to do it in, says it all really.

It's obvious her family will not approve of your relationship. Is she strong enough to disobey them and risk getting shunned from her community?

This is why I am asking unicorn. Asking for experiences of how things have gone ACTUALLY? Was there ostracising? Was there an eventual understanding? That sort of thing.
IF she chose to leave her faith totally, it will be a very dark day.

I do think it is important though, just as your own strength of religious belief is important. If you are both just in your respective religions because you were born into them, that is not so significant

Exactly!

Was there ostracising?

It depends on their faith. If they are not practicing, then they wouldn't care.

If she is ACTUALLY in a sexual relationship with you, then she has ALREADY "abandoned" her faith.

Is she a practicing Muslim or not? I don't know how many times different people will have to ask you this.

I was raised in a Christian church, practiced Wicca for twenty years and married a Jewish man. Being Jewish and raising Jewish children were very important to him. I have always been attracted to the Jewish faith, so converted before we married. I still raise my eyes to the moon to see what quarter it is in though ;)

Ha! SW. I presume the Wicca community were understanding.

Well as a catholic would you openly go against your religion? As that's what you're effectively asking of her, which is why other posters are making the very valid point that it all depends on how religious she actually is.

Only you know what her upbringing was like. How strict it was. Her relationship with her family members. What country they originate from. What branch of Islam they follow.

All of these factors will make a difference. And only you really know the answer. Surely she's given you her opinion on it all?

Catholics and Muslims can have a secular marriage, just like anyone else. They can also have sexual relations outside marriage (or within a secular marriage) without "abandoning their faith" as both faiths contain the idea of imperfect practise within them.

Well I'm not asking anything of her. And of course I know religiously observant she is. I could write all night about her.

When there is movement of people globally to other states and mix with other people of other religions, things happen. Sharp definitions become more blurred and attitudes change.
So my enquiry is of other people's experiences, developments and actual observations of how that has been played out recently. Not how devout or otherwise anyone is. Or isn't. The two are distinct.

Hello pannnn. I have seen several interfaith relationships between muslim women and non muslim men. Some have worked well others have ended very badly. A common trait in the ones that have worked is that one or both of the partners is not a strict adherent to their faith. So either the man has not been religious and so converted to Islam to get the approval of the womans family with or without the intention to practise the religion or the muslim woman has not been that practicing so was willing to ignore or challenge the disapproval from relatives, community etc.

The fact her parents are not alive does make it less likely you will face strong opposition. Are her family very religious? If not they may be easier to win over. What ethnic background is she if you dont mind me asking. I would say normally brothers are not that invested in their sisters lives so less likely to actively oppose it but it depends on where they are from. Some cultures like Turks even if all the men in the family are the most non practicing muslims you can find they will still work up the energy to give you some serious opposition.

Pannn, I spent many hours talking with our Rabbi to work out my feelings about worshiping one God. I still struggle with it to be honest. I am committed to being a Jew and work hard to provide a Jewish upbringing for our child.
My husband was the first ever in his family to marry a convert. His family never put pressure on me to convert but I never really felt part of celebrations until I converted. Converting to a wholly new religion takes great effort and commitment. I'm glad I did it but it was a long process.

Btw, all my witchy friends have remained as loving and supportive as ever.

And of course I know religiously observant she is

Clearly not very to be in a relationship with you

Thank you v much BM That is very helpful to look at. I have read of a couple of imams who will perform marriage ceremonies 'outside' of the directions given. There is a notion of 'allow it otherwise we will be reduced numerically' i.e adapt to circumstances.

Yes thanks again Polly.

So my enquiry is of other people's experiences, developments and actual observations of how that has been played out recently. Not how devout or otherwise anyone is.

Well my experiences do depend on this. It plays a major role. Hopefully someone will have the answer you're looking for