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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH kissed someone else...

72 replies

Lolly86 · 06/01/2017 18:19

Just found out my DH has kissed someone else at work. He only told me as they've been threatening to tell me. Feel.completley blindside. We've had a lot.of problems with his depression causing major issues in our relationship but I've stuck by him. Now feel a complete mug. Don't know what to do. We've been together 8 years married for 4 and have a 3 year old DD....
So number right now

OP posts:
Patriciathestripper1 · 06/01/2017 20:10

Are you the type that gives second chances? Could you get past it?
If not kick the cheating bastard out the door.
It will give you time to think.
Feel for you op Flowers

Original poster
Lolly86 · 06/01/2017 20:16

I've sent him to his dad's to.givw me space. I asked him.to tell.me everything then he admitted to the sex. I'm so hurt and angry and sad

OP posts:
Therealloislane · 06/01/2017 20:20

You poor love x

peppatax · 06/01/2017 20:21

Take as much space as you need - if he's sorry he'll wait. Hopefully his Dad will give him shit OP Flowers

TheTantrumCometh · 06/01/2017 20:30

I'm so sorry. At least he didn't drag it out any longer. Not that it makes it any better Flowers

dontpokethebear · 06/01/2017 20:35

Oh dear. At least he didn't drag it out minimising etc.

ThePinkOcelot · 06/01/2017 20:36

So sorry OP. What a shock for you. Have you got someone you can call to be with you?

ohfourfoxache · 06/01/2017 20:41

Oh Lolly Sad

I'm glad he's gone to his dad's, it sounds like you could do with some space.

Joysmum · 06/01/2017 20:48

Do you have somebody in real life that you can call to come and be with you for support?

Thattimeofyearagain · 06/01/2017 20:50

Flowers. Hot sweet tea for shock, then call someone in rl for support. Were here if you need us .Brew

Original poster
Lolly86 · 06/01/2017 20:57

Thank you everyone. I've spoken to my mum and I'm just trying to take it all in

OP posts:
Joysmum · 06/01/2017 20:58

It's a lot to take in in one go. Sad

Hermonie2016 · 06/01/2017 21:02

So do you suspect his moodiness was whilst the affair happened?

I'm so sorry but it's likely to be an affair and the OW is angry as he lied to her (as well as you).

I think of you have tolerated his behaviour and supported him it's pretty awful to find the cause was his guilt over OW.

You will be in shock so treat it as that.

Original poster
Lolly86 · 06/01/2017 21:05

His depression has been going on for years we've had a particular bad patch the last few months but there's no excuse

OP posts:
Shayelle · 06/01/2017 21:05

Flowers for you xx

Livelovebehappy · 06/01/2017 21:10

Why do some men behave like arseholes? At least you now have time to process the information if he's gone to his dads, and you can decide what you want to do. He only told you as he was pushed into it, so presumably it would have carried on otherwise. There are lots of people on here though OP who have gone through similar and will be able to handhold if you need advice.

ExpatTrailingSpouse · 06/01/2017 21:41

i'm very sorry OP.

please don't forget to have STD checks at the dr if you've dtd with him since this happened.

ohfourfoxache · 06/01/2017 21:44

You're right, it is no excuse. Depression doesn't excuse anyone from being a cunt

PollytheDolly · 07/01/2017 00:03

Oh my god.

Just...HUGS

winkywinkola · 07/01/2017 00:14

You had a particularly bad patch because that was when he was being unfaithful.

It's not you. It is totally his failing. Totally his.

ohfourfoxache · 07/01/2017 10:53

Did you manage to get any sleep Lolly?

Original poster
Lolly86 · 07/01/2017 11:27

I slept a little on night shifts this weekend. Can't belive this has happened tbh

OP posts:
Skang · 07/01/2017 11:36

I'm so sorry this has happened.

Sometimes men use 'depression' as a cover for their acting distant and other shifty behaviour and withdrawal from family life. The depression is quite possibly all nonsense.

ohfourfoxache · 07/01/2017 11:45

Have you got anyone with you sweetheart?

Original poster
Lolly86 · 07/01/2017 11:48

He definitely had depression that's been going on for years even before I met him still no excuse. I'm alone with my 3 year old DD but I'm OK just trying to work things through in my head

OP posts: