Warning about posting in the Relationships Topic on Mumsnet

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

Don't do it if you don't want your personal stories lifted and splashed all over the Mail Online.

The DM used to restrict themselves to copying and pasting mainly made up (Penis Beaker), lighthearted or neutral threads.

But now they are quite happy to publish deeply personal and very identifying threads too from people posting at crisis point.

I do actually foresee Mumsnet's inability to prevent this being the end of the website tbh. Or MN as we know and love it, anyway.

I know we've had a zillion threads about this already, but I just want to remind people again:

Don't post on Mumsnet if you don't want your thread to be reproduced in the Mail Online.

Oh of course it's a feminist issue.

They don't do it to 4chan, do they?

livia - the whole justification that the press make for publishing all sorts of stuff is that it's in the 'public interest'. A functional fourth estate that can hold power to account, let people know what is going on, and defend free speech have theoretically been key parts of a liberal democracy since at least the late C18, if not earlier.

It's a feminist issue because this is supposed to be a space where women can come together and offer one another guidance and mutual support and that is inherently a feminist space. Destroying it in this way is an anti-feminist move.

I think we should go for the journalists as a collective, using social media.

(I mean that we, as a collective, should go for the journalists as individuals, using social media.)

I'd also suggest a boycott of the DM by criticising those who comment on or post DM content, and demanding that these threads are deleted by Mumsnet in retaliation for their intrusion here. They should be absolutely persona non grata on these forums, like the Sun in Liverpool.

this is supposed to be a space where women can come together and offer one another guidance and mutual support and that is inherently a feminist space.

Only in the sense that it is mostly for equality between men and women.
And men can come too and we can all offer one another guidance and mutual support.
Or we'll look like a feminine version of 4chan.

The desire to further equality between men and women IS the definition of feminism. And depressingly we are a long way off it still.

You are clutching at straws there - Plenty of people on here do not identify as feminist (as demonstrated by the responses to the 'are you a feminist' type threads. ) And the fact that FWR exists (and is a place where some posters are scared of posting) implies that some of the members aren't feminist.

Actually, snooping in 4chan, it's highly entertaining. Apparently they have some women there too. Or men who wear make up.Shhh

Never mind, back to the thread topic.

The desire to further equality between men and women IS the definition of feminism.
Yes...

And depressingly we are a long way off it still.
So? You don't have to show your vagina to post here, so it's not a women's only place. Certainly not a female safe place.

No, I'm not clutching at straws, merely defining feminism more broadly than you do, as the belief that women have the right to vote, to wear trousers if they want to, to earn an equal wage to men for doing an equal job, to participate in public life, to have sexual control over their own bodies and not to be the victim of domestic violence, amongst other things. Most of those rights are less than 100 years old and were hard-won by feminist campaigners. I'm guessing that the vast majority of women on this forum would support such ideas, even if they don't self-identify as feminist.

Bloody hell is 4chan still around then?

lweji - I'm absolutely not trying to restrict posting on the site to women alone. I don't know where you get that idea from. It is, however, in a highly practical sense, a female-dominated forum.

But, to get back to the actual issue: what about a DM boycott?

And I'm disagreeing with this:
"this is supposed to be a space where women can come together and offer one another guidance and mutual support and that is inherently a feminist space."

Yes, we can still come together and offer guidance. We can do that in lots of places. It's not exclusive of MN.
I don't think the DM lifting threads off here is a feminist issue. And I do identify as feminist.

*what about a DM boycott?

I think you're late for that. :)

Unless you are proposing that MN deletes any references to the DM. I don't think that's reasonable and it wouldn't prevent the DM from lifting any threads.
Or any other newspaper.

I said that Mumsnet was "A feminist space" not "THE ONLY FEMINIST SPACE IN THE UNIVERSE"!!

Yes, that's exactly what I'm suggesting - that we resolutely and absolutely ignore the DM, and close down any threads that refer to DM content, e.g. by posting endless pictures of kittens. (It would be even better if it could be site policy just to delete them).

It won't stop the DM lifting threads, but it will make our anger at their actions palpable and would be an effective way of denying them a little bit of internet traffic. It might even broaden out beyond the site to become a wider thing, which is exactly what our public sphere needs really.

Have some chamomile tea. :)

I do think you're making a storm in a tea cup.

I don't agree it's a feminist issue. They can lift any thread. Men are here as well. They aren't necessarily putting down women, or the OPs from the threads, as such.

My point is that they are changing the nature of a virtual space that really should - in all decency (note: this is a moral argument) be protected precisely because it's a place where women can support one another. I do think women come onto the Relationships board with all kinds of issues that are often gendered (be that abortion, rape, husband cheating, whatever) and a need to discuss these with other women, in ways that they might not be able to in real life. They are also often in an extremely vulnerable state, in which publicity can have very negative practical effects on their lives let alone their emotional state. It's unethical, pure and simple.

There are very few threads on this site, in statistical terms, that are started by men, so the exposure that they are dealing in is, in a very practical sense, more likely to target women.

If they have right to lift things because they are in the public domain, then I don't see why we don't have the right to use the public domain back at them, by boycotting DM threads and by going for the journalists personally.

For anyone who really wants privacy, then MN is not a safe place. Relationships is fully googleble, it shows up on Active, etc.

People who prefer to stay low should really use OTBT, or, for private advice on more detailed issues, PM pps who they think can help. Or use a more private forum.

MN users already frown on the DM and most pps avoid putting links or clicking on links.
If pps want to derail DM related threads, go ahead. I don't agree.

Of course it's not a private place - I don't think anyone is under the illusion it is. What I'm saying is that the additional publicity that is provided by running a thread through the world's largest news website changes the nature of the space here. Placing a thread under a pseudonym on a public site is NOT the same thing as seeking worldwide publicity for it. This is just common sense.

And yes, I think derailing could work!

(I am also making the point, which is getting repeatedly sidelined, that this is unethical behaviour. It may be something we practically have to put up with, but that doesn't mean we have to agree with it and it definitely doesn't mean we can't hit back).

That's fine - it will achieve fuck all but go for it!

Agree strongly with ShovetheHolly.

The implications of this behaviour may be significant one day in a business sense to MNHQ (when posters simply stop turning to this site) which may see more action than any moral argument.

There will always be people to replace those who leave - I think people have a slightly inflated sense of their own importance in something like this.

It won't necessarily be the same site but then things move on and there are always threads about things not being the same etc etc

I think people have a slightly inflated sense of their own importance in something like this.

Indeed they do, LiviaDrusillaAugusta, indeed they do.