Brave Babes - Barging through 2017 in style

[SweetLathyrus]

Hello, I'm SweetLathyrus (Sweet for short), and I've been hopping on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for three years now because, like some many of us, I struggle with alcohol.

The Bus is a supportive community at all stages in their relationship with alcohol and with lots of different goals - for some, it's abstinence, for others it's moderation, for others, it's just about getting a bit of control and perspective.

So, if you think you'd like to join us, don't be shy, flag us down and jump on board and share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with; sometimes there will be silliness, but there will always be help and support.

If you would like to know how the Bus first rattled into action, here is the first ever thread

And if you would like to know where we have been more recently, here is the most recent thread

mint thank you!
Love the name of the website too, just my thing in my new incarnation!

Sleep calls x

Made it back home without stopping at the shop so pleased to report it is a ginger beer I've just cracked open. Have to admit the decision was largely helped by an early morning GP appointment tomorrow otherwise think I might of caved So day 7 of no fucking sleep is done.

Apologies for not name checking as still haven't read back but will go shower and then have a read and catch up with you all properly later or tomorrow.

Oh god, I can't keep up! I have so much I want to say in response to every post, but I believe that 'thinking it' will make it so.... So please dream up the perfect answer to your own post and know that I sent that to you x

The camels remind me of one of my favourite jokes, so thank you for that - I am sure you all know it, so I'll not repeat it, unless you all ask very, very nicely....

But I really want to respond to one of guggenheim 's posts... guggs I was sad to see that part of the reason you'd not posted was because it was 'someone else's issue'. Well you know this thread is not facebook where we post annoying things just to get others to ask us what's going on, and we're not mumsnet AIBU where we demand other details in order to make a judgement. I would like to think that on this long running thread you could feel safe enough to say 'there's some shit going on that I can't tell you about' and that we would all gather around and hold you and support you and comfort you without needing to know any of the grizzly content - all we need to know is how it is making YOU feel. Because that's what we support - you, and your feelings.

elba

Tough to do, but you did it.

On the topic of 'anonymity' I want to share with spanna : one of my dc left their FE place - it just didn't suit them. It was at a time when my friends dcs were all off to do medicine or law. My dc was left out and isolated (and I was in a similar position amongst the mum's group).

But dc found something of their own passion, is happy and settled and thriving.

Oh go on then, I'll bite. What's the camel joke?

G'aaagh, just finished work and off to bed. I see there are 5 camels then Spanna, Am tempted to look up the difference between one and two hump camels but far too tired (though I know the difference between African and Asian elephants in some detail if anyone cares). Don't worry though, not proposing a bus elephant - well apart from me at the moment - not feeling thin yet either Ma.

Will look up the other Sue Monk Kidd book - didn't realise there was more than one. Read her on holiday last year and found myself crying in some parts which is unusual for me. Haven't read medieval whodunnits, ever, but used to like the Gothic Novels so a possibility...

Well done to all you AF babes. And tomorrow is another day (though sadly a Monday) if you had a wine or two this weekend.

I am quite boring on the AF drink front sadly. I like lime and soda a lot, am not a fan of alcohol free beers really, though I do like some of the AF ciders like Koppaberg. At the moment I am into diet ginger beer but as soon as I buy some DS drinks it so buying lots of diet tonic which he hates! Licorice and peppermint tea or coffee with cream are my other treats, and Options Hot Chocolate.

Anyway, I'm off to bed the arachnids down for the night in case they get cold in the sidecar (shoots baleful look at Ma) and go to sleep myself.

Night all and thanks for being here xxx

venus you are so kind and I very much trust you all, but it involved my ds. Nothing terrible has happened just run of the mill crap but it all meant a big re think of life and how we can help him. I couldn't trust myself because I was incandescent with rage at some of the very poor handling of the situation. It's a issue to do with Sen rather than anything awful. I did begin to drink again, not very much and it was one way of dealing with it all- I guess.

Thank you for your kindness, it's very much appreciated. X

Day 8 done. Wonderful to be back . Night babes x

Well. 7/8 days in and that's me. Had a really awful day here, horrible. DS has pretty much broken me with 8 hours of diatribe and violence. He's 11, and so angry. But it feels, now, much more copable with a vino, or two, or threee.

Well I had a large sherry on top of the wine, but I managed to throw away the final bit so consider that a success! (Would not have done it if you lot hadn't suggested it, so give yourselves a pat on the back!)

DH tried heroically to help, but he is not as good at alcohol intake as I am, and could only manage minuscule amounts 😀

Anyway, done now, and the rules say no more this week.

Hey babes, hope you are all tucked up and dreaming happy dreams, especially you elba, seems like the sleep fairy has been passing you by of late. Chit I am sorry to hear you had such a dreadful day with your ds, no wisdom I am afraid but a small offering of . Back in the game tomorrow maybe? Joey I hope hamster holds out, I love a little hamster friend . Guggs I know it has been done but a baby I was so surprised! Hats off to you, for all you have been through and for having a lovely squish baby . hope I quite like the idea of a bus elephant 🐘. Spanna if only we could always have the right words at the right time, and feel sure that they were the right words. I think the 'being there' bit surpasses all the words. Venus I join ma in wanting to hear the camel joke. . I am attempting a wave to all babes dubh, Margie, Lux, fox, chocolate, lunk, .mip, 42, if I have left anyone out I am sorry, there are so many babes, so many posts...but I would hate anyone to feel overlooked.

My day went a bit Pete Tong today, first ski of the day and my eldest fell and hurt his wrist - after a stretcher ride down the hill, trip to the nearest hospital and an X-ray, he now has a cast and the first broken bone of the Beaches family. Of course, on getting home I had an instant craving for wine, my default response to stress (and achievement/sadness/happiness/excitement/any feeling) I fought it off with tea and you lot . So thanks, day 8 done.

Beaches oh lovely that all must have been very scary - I'm sure DS will heal quickly So so so well done for not reaching for that first glass Babe - you done good, really good, that takes alot of willpower and now you're on Day 9 - Wooooo Hooooo

Venus Thank you x

Ma camel joke, you say, pray tell please......wouldn't worry about your toast munch, it's so much better for you than wine hope your clutter free bedroom is becoming the calm sanctuary for you, I need to get my shit together with a clear out

Elba Well Done I really hope that the sleep fairies joined you for the night - hopefully you'll have a good sleep and wake feeling refreshed and not hungover Why not take a lovely walk by the sea after your GP appointment?

Joey fingers crossed with the hamster x

Chit you are doing so well on the AF front especially with your DS, it's so tough You are his rock and he will take all his anger and frustration out on the one he loves and trusts the most. Hang in there Babe and keep posting x

Dub how you doing my darling? I hope works not been too bad and that terrorist is doing alright. Love and hugs x

Baby I miss you so much - please check in if you can. If you're reading, here's a squeeze for you xxxx

Sweet are you ok babe? please check in, we don't care if you've slipped into the sidecar - come and say hello - we've only just got you back, please don't disappear

Margie darling - I hope work isn't too frantic today - shoulders back, tits out and smile Show them who's boss and breathe You can walk this, no sweat x

Up early, had too much sleep, I think. Got to go back to main job today got a difficult dynamics situation can't stand one of the women I work with One of the team isn't in today (that one) and the other is leaving as she's not had enough support from the other I will just think of the money and lots of deep breathes. God I so don't want to work anymore, worked since I was 14 and 50 this year, feel like I've done my bit!!!!!!!! Some people say they'd get bored if they didn't work, Hell not Me, I would have plenty to do

Have a good day y'all x

Morning all,
crikey the tread has moved quickly overnight and this morning.
Venus I have enjoyed reading your lovely posts. Really well done Elba hope you managed some sleep last night.
Chit sounds like you had a very tough day are all I can offer.
Beaches Ouch, a broken wrist. I broke mine years ago - very painful, it never really healed properly and causes me occasional pain some 30 odd years later, possibly because I never really followed up on treatment
Joey Hope the hamster is ok, they are comical, cute little things and well done for ditching the sherry, ODAAT.
Gugg well done on day 8 especially with all you have going on.

So many people here, I am rooting for you all if I haven't mentioned you.

I had a pretty good sleep but appear to have my first winter cold, feeing pretty rough which could be helpful in staying on the right path this week. Colds tend to floor me, rarely get mild sniffles.

I hope you all have a good day and I'll catch up later. Is this really day 9?

Right
We didn't split up, we cried and said we didn't want to split up. Treading water really.
Am continuing try Jan with 4 AF days this week.
Thank goodness for this bus and you lot.
Sorry not much of a post, am on way to work for redundancy meeting. Sigh. sending supportive vibes to all, so good to be in this with you all
Loving the spider side car...

Morning all
Sorry not been about but have been feeling lousy cos of a bug.
Anyway I went out on Friday night and I drank........fairly moderately .....but nevertheless.
Why? because I was with a group who I know fairly well and usually have a great time with but this time when I wasn't drinking I was BORED !!!
I felt the night stretch before me and I started to panic because I just couldn't find my usual connection with them.
Anyway been doing a lot of thinking since then and beginning to think that it was the wine which was the glue holding us together😥
I think more than anything that doing .....or trying to do DJ will hopefully reset my drinking habits .
I may however have to reassess some friendships.
Sorry not to NC but still feeling a bit lousy .
Hope you all have a good day

Jumping on. Last year was very hard for a number of reasons, two could be considered major life events. Not only did I start drinking more but the effect alcohol had on me significantly changed too and I had a few blackout situations. Nothing unsafe, was at home with no dramas but not nice not remembering how you got to bed.

I have started using Selincro to reduce which I used previously with some success. However I never really followed that journey to the end so am trying again. It has a remarkable effect on me and after 2 weeks I have only had 2 drinks all weekend. Didnt really want them but you need to drink for Selincro to work.

However had a big row with my teenager yesterday and felt very stressed. Really felt like a drink to calm down. Considered having one without the Selincro. The effects of alcohol are actually heightened if you do that. I wonder if the first round is what changed the affect alcohol has on me now, ie made it more powerful as I have more receptors from the selincro. If so a dangerous game to play.

However I didnt took some time out and decided to take a selincro and then had one drink an hour later. For me it allows me to drink without it having the effect of needing more as it removes the buzz, and I am a binger not an everyday drinker though it was becoming more and more frequent.

I really want to sort myself out so would be good to have some where to come if I feel like I did yesterday. I know selincro will work for me and I am extremely lucky in that respect as it takes a very long time with some people. I just have to keep taking it every single time I drink. It works so well I can imagine stopping all together at some point as it removes my cravings and makes alcohol slightly replusive. However I am obviously self medicating with alcohol so need to find healthier ways to deal with the stress and issues in my life or I will go back to square one. Good luck with all your journeys too.

Welcome bejiggery you have come to the right place.

Morning all. No sleep faries last night sadly, which is frustrating as last time I got this far the sleep was amazing. Probably managed three hours at a push. But have come back from GP with a little supply of zopiclone- not a long term solution, they are very addictive, but fine to take occasionally to catch up.

spanna hope you are feeling better today. Things sound tough for your DD at the moment My best friend dropped out of college at a similar age, and struggled for a while. She went on to do a variety of weird and interesting jobs, travel, sort her head out a bit and eventually went back to study in her 20s. She ended up with a glamorous PR job and married a city banker! I was the one that pushed through the traditional a level, university route and really regret not taking some time out when I needed it.

sweet how are you doing?

venus thank you xx

joey hope the hamster is ok. I used to keep hamsters as the only pet I could have in my flat but was so sad when the last one died I haven't got another. They are sweet little animals.

42 that all sounds so stressful. Your doing brilliantly to keep up your af days with everything going on.

beaches sounds like a stressful day, hope your DS is ok. Well done for not caving last night!

lux hope your not feeling too grotty.

Sorry, so many people and I know I haven't mentioned you all but I've read all your posts and am cheering you on. Lots of you nearly at 10 days which is amazing.

Off to see extremely hot physio in a bit, back feels a bit better so hope he's pleased with me. Today's a bit of a difficult day (significant date) so trying to keep busy. Might struggle tonight- a bit of me is already using the date as an excuse to drink.

So you lot are to blame for my dream about Elephants last night!!
🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘
I had an OK night. No cold sweats. I'm feeling pretty ok at work too. And POSSIBLY TMI COMING UP
It's the first time in quite a while I've had solid poo. Normally I get horrible dia after the wine.
I'm off to the gym after work.
I saw AF Koppaberg mentioned up thread. How did I forget that! I'll be picking some up on the way home.

Hello Bejiggery you really are in the right place for support, advice and laughs, welcome.

*Elba^ sorry to hear the sleep fairies gave you a swerve last night, hopefully you'll find it easier soon.

Elephants eh Mint to add the camels and spiders, quite the zoo bus we have going on, might have to swap to an ark.
Glad you had a decent night, you're not the only one with changed, er, bathroom habits, I no longer have marmite wee (you'll be thrilled to know!)

Throat has started hurting, bit snotty, last time I had a severe cold I ended up following that with flu, which morphed into bronchitis and finally pneumonia, I don't recall much other than finding myself on a hospital bed having an ECG, so any slight sniffle now worries me a little. I will dose up and keep resting and hopefully it will pass quickly.

In luxury woman news you will be delighted to know todays treat was new definitely non 'mum' pants from the sale rail, very slinky and pretty, I will be a glamorous, together and sorted type before long

Bold fail for Elba

LuxuryWoman2017
OH please do take care of yourself. That's how my Mother ended up in CCU.
I bought a leopard print coat in my lunch hour. £10. 😆

Hello All.

Sorry, still here but spent most of the weekend, either coughing or sleeping - so still sober, but not feeling the benefit.

Hope your list of authors could be mine (and can I make you a little bit jealous and tell you that Helen Dunmore was one of my MA tutors - the year she won the first Orange Prize for A Spell of Winter, a really lovely woman). As well as the trevor Noah bio, I'm also reading the third Locke Lamora book Ma, you recommended The Lies of Locke Lamora to me and I got hooked!

I did a bit of 'lix-ing' this morning and got my roots done and SIX INCHES cut of the length of my hair. New Year, New Hair .

I will be back in a bit - dog wants walking and DS wants feeding.

I will be careful Mint slightest hint of a wheeze or pain in my chest and I'll see the doctor.
Your coat sounds fabulous!

Sweet feel any better? Hope your cough has improved, nothing like a good haircut to make one feel heaps better is there?

I am drinking a lot of Cranberry juice at the mo, it's sour enough to appeal and loads of Vit C. Can't stop eating but one thing at a time.

My mind keeps getting ahead of me, I may have some good news soon (at last )and of course we usually celebrate good news with fizz, I need to find another treat 'Good news, let get a manicure!' 'We won the lottery, let's have a facial!) hmm doesn't have the same ring as 'Champagne all round' or 'the drinks are on me'

Hope everybody is having a good day so far, I am looking forward to my bed.

Lux, I think I've turned a corner with the cough, I hope so anyway.

I was getting fed up with the fight I have every morning to do something with my hair (V. Thick, curly and down to the middle of my back) I think these should be things we do for ourselves anyway - for a celebration you need something that gets the adrenaline going . "Good news, lets go carting" "New job, lets go on a roller coater" " Big Inheritance, lets white water rafting"!

I'm still stuffing my face, trying to fill the hole that wine has left - jelly beans (very much like Ma's rainbow dribble hamster), crisps, pizza, cream crackers, anything I can find. My drinks tonight have been teapots super fruit tea and fentimans rose lemonade, I'm still feeling twitchy, but I know it will pass in half an hour or so.