No rights because i'm not married

[SweetPea2017]

I've been with my (now ex Partner) for 11 years, he owns the house. Does anyone know what rights I have as we never married? he kept saying we would, he refused for me to pay towards mortgage and was abusive if I mentioned been added to property.

If you ex has a mortgage then he is in breach of the terms as he would have been told by his solicitor that anyone cohabiting with him and contributing to the household could obtain an equitable interest in the property. To exclude this they would have required you to sign a consent form and take independent legal advice as to what the implications were for you by signing. If you were not advised and you have contributed to the household (i.e. Not paid the mortgage but have paid other bills bought food paid insurance etc) then you may well have acquired an equitable interest in the property anyway. If you qualify for legal aid then ring the law society and ask for a list of solicitors in your local area that do legal aid and have a property law specialist.

Well, that's how I'm seeing it. I'm always a positive person, there's a reason why things happen. I just have to sort my depression out and kick it's butt.

I've managed it before without drugs, I can do it again. I've just got to focus on positive energy and all that stuff.

DP and I aren't married but we consider our joint mortgage as a form of marriage and hold joint tenancy, or whatever it is when one dies and the other gets the house.

Really should think about making a will. My grandad recently died, intestate and I've become the executor which has somewhat delayed our grieving process.

Excuses all over the place. Posts like this make me viscerally angry as it serves to further a misogynistic narrative that women are emotional and stupid. Being Asian has nothing to do with it. Plenty of Asian women, myself included are clued up on their rights and make their choices rationally. Also being depressed after leaving a marriage and losing residency of your children should be a big clue to yourself not to enter into another relationship without making damn sure of your rights and the consequences to your children upon breakdown of relationship.
I am completely against any reform in the laws to regulate or impose consequences on cohabitation.
I am sorry to say this but to do so would be to further infantilise and patronise women and encourage them to give up work in favour to staying home. There should be no security in cohabitation beyond minimal child support. People can get married if they want to. If he doesn't want to marry you, move on instead of having a child with him and moaning g when it doesn't work out.
This may be really cold to say but I think a lot of men have done some research before cohabiting, hence the numerous posts from women whose partners refuse to put their names on the deeds, mortgage etc. The men will allow women to pay for food, days out holidays but nothing that will give them equity in the house. Good for them and more fool the women who go along with it. If these men have down their research there5no reason why their female partners couldn't. So I subscribe to the theory that a lot of women out there(judging by the sheer volume of posts on the same issue) are looking to be kept by a man and believing in happily ever after with the man as breadwinner. If so, this mentality is shocking for women in a first world country with compulsory education for both sees and equality legislation protecting women's rights in the workplace.

The fact that he turned abusive whenever you mentioned being put on the deeds or having any equity should have been a big red flag yet you stayed 11 years. I have no words.

To the pp up thread who said that op may have equity if she had made contributions to household expenses, that is wrong. I believe you are referring to gaining equity through a constructive trust. If so, op would need to prove that her contributions were made in the believe that both of them had the common intention that she would obtain a beneficial interest in the property. The fact that he has shut her down and turned abusive each time she has brought up the issue shows clearly that he has zero intention to share the beneficial interest. I would seek legal advice but on this I am afraid op is on a hiding to nothing

No rights I'm afraid. My ex fiancé and I split after 7 years and I got nothing. In fact I had to pay him to keep every piece of furniture in the property we rented because he paid for it.

A family solicitor told me I had no leg to stand on, 'common law marriage' isn't a recognised status anymore unfortunately.

Life's a bitch, but look at I this way, it was the cheapest rent you had for 11 years.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

OP I've really never met a woman who didn't know that the rights of a married woman are different than an unmarried one.
I've also never met a parent that doesn't discuss this topic at length with their daughters.
Are you suggesting that over your 30+ years of life you have never heard this before, never wondered why parents push for a legal wedding?

You could piece something together as a buggers muddle

A what carol?

(Sorry, tangent, but I've never heard that)

It's not that complicated complicated, in fact, to establish cohabitation. The HMRC, DWP and local authorities are required to make judgements on cohabitation daily. I'm sure the family courts could manage.

Some women have the information kept from them, or are told something else by a partner and having trusted that information thought no need to double check.
It also highlights that not enough is being done to teach women what their rights are. It isn't 'more fool them for not knowing', it should be taught to women.
We still don't have true gender equality in the UK despite compulsory education and the equality in the work place regulations, the wage gap that we still have shows this.

The legal consequences of being married are so serious, that they should only be actively and willingly entered into.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

It costs about £100 to get legally married in a registry office, you can't even get a solicitor to get their pen out of their pocket for that, yet too many people claim they can't afford to marry!?

The myth of "common-law marriage" is damaging to women who get strung along by the "we'll get married when we can afford it/we don't need to get married" being said by feckless men.

Aside from splitting up, people also die unexpectedly and you should be prepared for that too.

You have my sympathies My ex declared himself bankrupt and no one told me, despite us being 'jointly and severally liable'. Joyous.

Hello, I'm sorry for your situation.
U need to get legal advice now regarding the house. If you have nowhere to live then you are homeless and the council has a responsibility to house you. You will be a priority as you have a child. You may end up in a hostel for about 8 months but it will be worth it to have your own home.

Good luck op. Forget about the loser and concentrate on yourself and your son. X

While it may be so that there may not be gender equality in substance, both sexes have access to education and thus should have equal ability to browse the Internet, read up etc. It is indeed "more fool them" if women make life decisions based simply on trust. Would you buy a car on trust of the the person selling it? Would you buy a house on trust that of someone who told you they had title or the house is valued at a certain rate? No you would not you would do some checks or ask for some form of proof or legal assurance.
Why is it that so often in these types of posts the male partners are always clued up on their rights and have arranged affairs so as to neatly ensure the women have none? The men seem to have done their homework why not women?
In the case of the OP it would seem that her circumstances are ripe for her to take control of her life. From her own posts she has been sheltered and not educated about her rights, spent 13 years of unhappy marriage with a man she claims is abusive and lost residency of her children and is desperately trying to see them you would think finding herself trapped in such a situation would be.motivation to take control and not enter another relationship of dependence and abuse for another 11 years and this time without the legal protection of marriage.

Take a girl, never teach her rights, teach her men are always right. You end up with a women who don't know much about there rights. I'm just glad I left

Islam expects every Muslim to study and learn every day of their life. Why did you not follow that dictat?

Freeurmind, why should women specifically be taught what their rights are and when should they be taught this? In school? And if so, in the name of equality should the boys have seperate lessons on what their rights are as well? If women are taught to protect themselves then should there be lessons to teach boys how to protect themselves against losing any share of equity in property they own when they allow women to move it? The law is out there and it is up to individuals to educate themselves. People who have something to lose will always try to educate themselves to prevent loss. Men who own their property seem to know how to ensure their live in partners are boxed into a corner in terms of rights. I do think a lot of women are short sighted(maybe overly romatic) and see the gains in moving in with a man and having children as security. They have the fairy tale family life and they think that having children means they will be entitled to something or some security. The economically stronger party (often men) see themselves as having something to lose and take steps to protect themselves. Economically weaker party (often women) see advantage and rush in and lose out in the long term when things go south.

I was searching for car insurance last night and there was a 'common law' drop down option which I was surprised to see. Normally it's just 'living with partner'.
OP...how is your financial situation?Are you working?
Also,I would reconsider medication for your depression as things are unstable and stressful at the moment.

Surely during your divorce you would have been made aware of what your married rights were? Didn't that make you consider what rights you wouldn't have being unmarried?

I'm sympathetic to a point, but it's not as if you didn't already have a relationship history to draw life lessons from.

School teaches you how to learn, not what to learn. Getting yourself educated on important decisions in life should be a fundamental part of being an adult.

Information is available now like never before so it's out there if you do the legwork, regardless of whether your partner wants you to know or not. Women should be encouraged to go and find out, not spoon fed information.

Getting married is more than just having a big party
I'm shocked that there are women who are unaware of the legal consequences of not being married
Especially after having children

Totally agree, more education is needed. It has nothing to do with common sense

Oh dear

Hard to understand how an obviously articulate poster, with access to the net, couldn't have researched at least the basics for herself ...

I agree with what nceccoli has said. We are making out women to be stupid and we are infantilising them. A grown woman who has children and has been through a divorce should be more than capable of understanding that marriage comes with rights that cohabiting doesn't.

And there is no-one who warns you about this

It's common knowledge. Everyone knows it.

I got married at just 20 in 1987 and knew my marriage gave me rights and protection that living together wouldn't have
I knew all that despite there being no internet back then
I guess marriage is just seen as being old fashioned now to some people

Take a girl, never teach her rights, teach her men are always right. You end up with a women who don't know much about there rights. I'm just glad I left

Sorry but this sounds a bit pathetic! Are you saying that you only know things have have been explicitly 'taught' to you?!