No rights because i'm not married

[SweetPea2017]

I've been with my (now ex Partner) for 11 years, he owns the house. Does anyone know what rights I have as we never married? he kept saying we would, he refused for me to pay towards mortgage and was abusive if I mentioned been added to property.

I would advise that you look at an Occupation Order. Plus child support.

Not all Asians get married. Some of them have partners. Like you.

thisisstartingtoboreme sorry that made me snort. Anyway what does cultural background have to do with yr problem.

I think, If you contributed towards bills, maintenance, insurance etc. you may have an equitable interest in the property. However to enforce this you would likely have to go to court and pay legal/ court fees so would have to weigh up the benefits of this (and you would need evidence of course).

Also the solicitor advising your ex-partner had a duty to act in his best interests, unless you were present in which case you should have been told to seek your own advice.

I forgot to add that i know many muslims who had the religious ceremony and didnt go to the registrary office to have a civil ceremony. Upon divorce they are treated as though they were living together not married. Please correct me, i think the only weddings that are seen as legal in the UK are christian churches, registry offices and venues that have been approved for civil ceremonies.

yes, seriously. That's what happens when you watch to many Disney movies, meet the prince and live happily ever after. As I said before, coming from a controlling religious background, were I never had a boyfriend, which mean's I never experienced bad men/cheating men. I always saw fluffy cloud's. I've learn my lesson the hard way, and will never trust another man again. I eventually got the courage after 13 years of abuse from my ex-husband to divorce him. He was muslim, my current ex-partner is english. Take a girl, never teach her rights, teach her men are always right. You end up with a women who don't know much about there rights. I'm just glad I left.

It is a problem OP. Women who are not married to the father of their children have next to no rights. You will get child maintenance though - and you will be entitled to benefits.

The woman who wrote "Eve was Framed" talks about the inequalities of women in Law - and I forget her name and I haven't googled - but she has always argued vociferously that a simple change in UK law could protect women like you, and protect women and children from potential poverty, by a simple change in the law. A law that gives cohabiting unmarried women with women the same rights as married women. I agree with her - but it's never happened.

I'm in Scotland so the law is slightly different here.

My husband and I were not married when we bought our first home together 12 years ago, I was told by our lawyer that if we split up after 3 years and I could prove that I had contributed financially to the house, then 1/2 of it was mine should be part.

You're contradicting yourself all over the place here.

Anyway, it is common sense and easy enough to find out your rights, but it involves asking, not being spoon fed. Take responsibility for yourself fgs.

yes your correct. The law has changed now. And the muslims have adjusted to his. I don't think they were happy about it. But I personally think it's a good thing to be equal and not too much different from other religions. God is god, does it matter which religion.

*It's Baroness Helena Kennedy. Wonderful woman - arguing against inequalities in the Law - and works in law and knows what she's talking about.

Knowledge is power OP, go get yourself some power

Why the fuck do we need a change in the law? Marriage is cheap and easy if you want to, if not then don't. What would the co-habitation rules be?, number of nights slept over, what about breaks etc.
You could piece something together as a buggers muddle, but quite frankly get married if you care and leave someone who refused to marry you.

I would explain, caroldecker - but your aggressive tone leads me to direct you the fuck to Baroness Helena Kennedy's book.

I'd completely disagree with her proposed changes also, I think it's an utterly terrible idea.
Different strokes and all that though.

Thanks for this, i've had a free session with solicitor, they were not helpful (hence why they were free) they would only give me more info if I payed the £250 + vat. I've just contacted a mediator as my ex-partner is not an evil person. Were separating because our parenting is completely different. I'm laid back and fun. My partner has no emotional feelings other than anger. Which is effecting our son in a negative way. I'm all over the place because of my depression/panic attacks.

Thanks will have a look at her. Sound good.

I can't believe you don't have the same right's as been married person, he's been stringing me along for 11 years

You can't believe that you don't have the same legal protection as those who have signed legal contracts?

Lots of people disagree - it's not law yet. "Marriage" is sacrosanct. But if made law it could lift some of the poorest families out of poverty. Because it would give unmarried women living with partners (who are generally the ones who give up paid work to care for children) the same rights as married women.

The other thing that would work would be to achieve actual equality for women - where they are not the majority providers of childcare/are not generally the ones to give up paid work or go P/T to care for children. But that's not likely to happen any time soon either.

Sorry - not really the place on someone's personal thread - but YANBU op. I know several women in your position who believe "common-law wife" is a thing.

It's not - but it could be. And if it was - it could protect you, and women like you, from this.

I do think there should be more education about the rights (or lack of) of couples who split without having been married. However, I think this is also a case of "none so blind as those who will not see". Very often, the people who most need this information are the very ones who sail through life ignoring all the advice which is already available in the media, on the internet etc. Who is to say that they would pay any more attention if there was even more information available? You said yourself that you had an image of life being all fluffy clouds, probably even if this information had been presented to you, you wouldn't have thought it relevant to you.

I do also think that you need to have taken much more responsibility for your situation. If you have already been married for 13 years and with your partner for 11, you are not exactly a teenager! Surely going though a divorce showed you that life is not always perfect and should have given you the incentive to find out more about your rights before entering into another relationship?

Thanks, that's exactly what i'm doing, it's hard to do when my depression is all over the place. Also trying to keep my little boy happy with less worry. He's been having therapy at school to try and reduce the impact.

Point taken and agree, but when you suffer from depression, that is the last thing on your mind. Just trying to survive day to day was hard enough.

I do however disagree, after divorcing my ex-husband, had I of had the information about living with someone but not been married, I would of seen a solicitor. After I divorced my ex-husband (which I had 3 kids with) 2 of those children where older and wanted to stay with my ex-husband, the courts then told me my 5 year old would live with my ex to keep the family together. So after divorcing my ex- I was then fighting to have contact with my other 3 children. I was doing this while been depressed.. It took it's toll. And still my mind was on seeing my kids, not researching about my rights.

Why would I ever think a relationship would end.

Because you've been divorced before, but even if that didn't happen again, eventually, one of you would die.

It is common sense to find out what would happen if your partner died, and whether it makes a difference if you're married or not, whether there's a will or not, and that would have probably lead you to the differences between splitting up when you're married and living together. Even before the Internet, there were libraries, and in some towns, there still are.

But now you know there are differences, you'll find out what you can do to protect your son, and if you enter another relationship, you'll be better able to protect your interests then, so it's not all bad.

Thanks, will do.