Crude talk

[transitpan]

I'm in a fairly new relationship of five months, we were saying our goodbyes this morning until we see each other again.

We haven't had sex this weekend as he had his family round.

On parting he said 'I can't wait until I see you next, so I can ruin you'

My face was and I asked if he'd got that phrase from one of his friends who sleeps around. He replied with 'no that's from my own repertoire'

Things were going ok until now, but that's creeped me out a little bit but I don't know why.

Is this is a reasonable thing to say, FYI I've only had one previous relationship which was very long term so I'm new to the dating scene.

Deep and crisp- I know! It's just so easy to get caught up in the romance though. It's only now seeing it all written down that I think what was I thinking. I wasn't obviously

That's where MN is so good for laying things out.

I would do it by text or email choosing my timing carefully so he could not come round.

And I'd be worried about the whole walking ahead of you on a night out thing too just as much to be honest....

It's easy to dismiss or excuse separate,random incidents. Completely different when you see them all written down,so don't beat yourself up over it .

He was Just trying to tell you how much he fancies you. Phrases have different associations for different people. If you like the rest of him, shrug it off

It is a disgusting comment. I would be furious.

Someone upthread seems to be confusing "ruin you" with "spoil you". Completely different. I don't understand why others think this is fine. Surely he is suggesting/'joking about' sexual violence??

His comment was threatening.

Since you tried to end it before: Have my blessing to dump him for real this time.

YY germaine he was suggesting sexual violence.
This type of language is common in violent porn.

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!! It's a term a few blokes I know use, not In a derogatory way, just to essentially say he's well up for a night of shagging!!!!
Perhaps if the nicest phraseology in the world but I can't believe people would leave a man for this unless it was coupled with other behaviour to suggest he's not a nice guy!?

Flumpy op did give examples of other behaviours that coupled with that comment are more than enough to leave a man for.

He's horrible, OP. Go with your instincts.

Ok perhaps you're both not compatible

If he does come to your house please don't let him in.

And some people on this thread need to get their feminism radars readjusted as I think they've lost a bit of accuracy.

@transitplan I think you need to lighten up.

Exactly Jenny.

Id find someone saying that to me very off putting i have only been in two very long relationships so maybe im just out of touch but it just sounds like something a teenage boy would say to his mates. It just sounds very disrespectful. As for the other stuff i think they are red flag moments. As others have said if he turns up at your house dont let him in.

@movingout erm noted thanks

Tell him to go ruin someone else, then block him. Job done.

Is he a member of The Imbetweeners cast ?

Staggering to read that any one thinks that's an ok thing to say to a woman. Christ that's depressing.

Leave him for that comment alone.

If someone said that to me they'd never see me again.

I would not be impressed with that remark.