Friends :(

[hotmessmom82]

I'm 34, I am a single mum to 2 boys, work, pretty much no family, have moved all over the country until I had my sons. I am not (too) weird, find it easy to maintain a relationship but for the life of me I cannot find decent friends!

I don't know if I am missing some vital ingredient but I seem to meet people who are just on the take or end up being rather fake.

Polyanna9

Glad to have made you laugh

Just trying to gauge numbers on the size of the room that is needed so all of the posters above can meet up and become friends

Well, I'm game if others are. Seriously.

Why not eh.

Another one here. I seem to attract the users. I'm so tired of 'trying' though, so I've decided if it's too hard then it's not meant to be. I'd rather be part of a group dedicated to making true friends.

Hi, I am in the same boat, I'm 43 single mum to two kids no family near by and feel very isolated. I am quite quiet but do like go to cinema, theatre, gigs etc and meeting up in small groups. I have missed adult interaction over the Christmas hols that I get at work. i would love a couple of true friends to meet up with. I've had a rough few years and had to keep it all in as got no one to share it with.

Was going to start a similar thread. Had a wide circle of friends prechildren but having moved country a couple of times, and had children find it very hard to go out with old friends or meet new ones. Xmas and nye brings it home. Number of cards and gifts or msgs really dwindled to almost zero and so sad that my cards etc are not reciprocated. Think Facebook etc has a lot to do with it. Feel like if I don't always make the effort, friends disappear.

The last time I got brave and invited some people I thought were friends over for my birthday 5/7 didn't come. Have largely given up now

i personally feel like the plague no one stays around for long my friendships die ,i have gotten to the point were i just dont care anymore. I just wish i knew how to get used to the isolation.At least i have my other half and daughter but its just feels hard when you dont have any woman in your life to speak with

I had a bit of a crap year with my local friends too. Made me feel really horrible for a fair few months. Things improved towards the end of the year but it made me realise I need to make more friends. It's hard

I'm a single mum nearly 40 & not had proper friends since university. I really miss close female friendships. I've tried for years to make friendships but I don't know! I'm shy maybe that's why. I'm funny & smart & loyal when you get to know me though
Where can we all meet up?

I had zero happy new year texts btw

I too lack friends.

I know lots of people, but have virtually no one to go out or do anything with.

Even those I consider my closest friends have better friends

I'd love more than anything for a group of friends to share my life with.

I have 3 young kids and a lovely partner but am a right Billy no mates so never go out

I'm Greater London way if there's a room big enough for us all

I literally have no clue.

I leave home typically 5.30am and am at work for 6.30/7.00 - no chance to even bump into someone on the bus as I drive to work. At work all day, then home to two teenagers, cooking dinner etc.

How and when am I supposed to make a friend that isn't one of DCs school friend's mum's (who also isn't a flaky two faced liar - ooops, sorry). And if I do, I'm so skint I can barely afford a flippin' night out anyway.

And I find these 'make a female friend' sites just a bit odd, I've been on them but I'm always like well you live here and I live there and at the end of every day I'm dashing home to get back for my children, when am I actually supposed to meet you, potential friend? Literally only leaves the weekends unless they literally lived no more than about 2 miles away.

The opportunities are almost zero.

Certainly Xmas with two teenagers up in their bedrooms was utterly, utterly boring.

2.5 years ago I found myself needing to switch friendship group due to stbxh cheating on me . I found a group called meet up it was the best thing that ever happened to me .A GROUP OF PEOPLE wanting to make friends going to do what ever .. I t was scary but so worth while .. made a real group of friends . gone oh holidays .. infact I posted a while ago about will the friendship bubble burst but no it hasn't. join anything and smile nd be brave xx

You're not alone. Me too and it makes me feel sad and like a failure sometimes. I have a lovely new (ish!) DP, two wonderful DDs and I am 6 months pregnant but hardly have any friends. I do know lots of people to say hello to and chat with when I bump into them and at work I get on with everybody.

I'm super independent due to a tricky childhood and I think I maybe just 'get on with life' rather than trying to share it with others if that makes sense.

Me too.

I'm a 40 year old nurse, married , 2 children ... Never been so friendless in my life. Honestly.

If anyone is in Notts I am friendless for the first time

I think joining a group with a common interest is probably the best way. I find small talk harder the older I get. As cookie said, Meetup is a great way of finding friends, that's if this group doesn't get commissioned😉

well reading these posts has definitely made me feel better and that I'm not just an odd one!

This thread is my home. Too knackered to post properly tonight, but definitely lurking

What is meetup ? An app, website?

me too
I am in mid 30s, no kids, after traumatic divorce I moved across the country, couple years on and I still find myself isolated.
If anyone is also friendless in London, I am open to make new friends over vanilla latte and a cake ;)

I'm joining too! I do have friends and a fairly good social life but this Christmas and new year has made it abundantly clear that I'm way down on most of their priority lists in terms of people to spend time with and that its me mainly making the effort to keep these friendships going.

I'm sick of it. I want kind, decent friends who enjoy a few glasses of wine and a natter every few weeks.

I'm East Anglia based if anyone wants a friend :waves:

I'm quite good at making friends. It's just they all seem to be in places like Dublin, Lisbon and equally distant places. I've seen more of I've seen more of the Dublin and Lisbon friends than the one just 5 minutes down the road in 2016. Can't afford to do quite so much of that in 2017 unless I land a massive payrise, mind you.

I think some of it is an age thing - once you get into your 30s, people are more settled in their social circles and partnerships. I know quite a few people locally, but I can't imagine going out on the lash with my next door neighbours, or talking over a tricky problem with them, unless it's about the roof or something. Same with people at my evening classes. But then, I also feel I haven't got time to find new people, and I suppose if it was really bothering me, rather than being a sort of background niggle, I would do more.

Ricekrispiesquare, are you in London too?

Simplecountrygirl - I want kind, decent friends who enjoy a few glasses of wine and a natter every few weeks - that is exactly what I want too! :)

paperandpaint I'm independent too having had difficult relationship post divorce, a divorce, contact issues following divorce etc - I wonder if we come off as 'we're fine we don't need you'?

I tried Meetup but it just wouldn't work for me - all the activities are in my main city, nowhere near the town I live in which is 10 miles outside of that city, so I'd have to drive to that city in the morning for work, then drive home, ignore the kids, then go back out at 7pm 10 miles back into that city to attend one of the events. It just doesn't work for me (but if you're v close to the locations where these things take place then you could be quids in).

I agree Ebearhug - I think too that people are settled and they actually don't need any new friends in their group . I think I kind of noticed this (and the lack of a significant partner in my life) is when I was at a school event recently. It seemed like the whole room knew each other! I'm ALWAYS on my own at these things and it gets so it kinda grinds you down a bit.