Does anyone live in a house owned by their partner?

[RobinSnood]

Just wondering how you feel about it?

My partner bought our house outright for cash. I believe he is committed to me, and he involves me in all decisions etc (also in the decision of which house to buy), but somehow I don't feel committed to him/our home. I want him to let me buy a small proportion of it (would be about 7%, maximum) but he thinks I'm being silly. Am I?

The legal situation depends on which country OP lives in.
I moved into DH's house but I also kept my own property.
In your situation, if it's impossible to move and buy a new house together (and I can see how the disparity in finances make that difficult) then I would either take out a loan or mortgage and invest in your DP's house (with all the relevant legal paperwork). Or buy a small property elsewhere.
Your situation would make me very uncomfortable. And although I can see how investing a small amount into his property could give you a feeling of ownership, I am not sure it is a sound financial decision. The value of your investment is completely dependent on the choices he makes.

One thing I always say to younger women (I am 45 single mother and financially independant) is it doesn't matter what the current situation is. You need to plan for a future which could mean a different outcome.

Invest that money in your own property. Rent it out and then you have your own investment and future secured.

Thanks all. I'm increasingly liking the idea of getting a mortgage to buy him out of 25% of our current home. It would make financial sense for him too (I think??) as it would free up cash which he could invest at a higher rate than I'd be paying on the mortgage (unless I am missing something when looking at mortgage rates which I may well be)

Yes, me, and I'm not happy about it. I'm going back to work and as soon as I can afford it, I'll be buying a property and renting it out (quite cheap where we live).

What happens to you if the shit hits the fam in your relationship. No one expects their dp to cheat but what if he did? Think of you and look out for protecting your interests whilst investing your life with him is all I'd say.

DH owns house outright, I pay towards bills. I rent out the house I lived in before (no mortgage).

I think of it as home but it's his house, I pay some upkeep bills but the big ones he pays.

In your position the £500 is really like rent and paying towards something tangible may make you feel better.

Something to think about is wills. We got wills drawn up so that a portion of the house came to me and a portion to his grown up kids and I can buy them out. I wanted the security of knowing I wasn't going to be chucked out if he died first and his will had left the house solely to the kids. In your case if there's no will there's no security.

Dh owned his house when I met him and I was fine with that.
However when I had dd my sil who us a financial advisor pointed our that as we weren't married at the time and dd was a minor that should something happen to Dh his parents would legally be next of kin and ownership of the house would be very complicated.
Dh was horrified and the deeds and remaining mortgage were changed to reflect our situation and we had wills drawn up.

I own my house (no mortgage).
When DH (then DP) moved in we agreed he would transfer £500pm to me - this covered a number of things, increased council tax, share of bills, reduction in CTC for me. We saw this as living costs rather than property costs - he had been paying over £1k rent, plus bills food etc, for several months previously.

We have completely separate finances. I've continued to pay all household bills, DH pays for Sky which I didn't previously have, we each pay our own mobiles, car insurance etc. Food shopping is probably fairly equal, if we go together DH almost always pays. I pay for almost everything for my children as I don't see them as DH's responsibility. Holidays are split pretty evenly.

This was 4 years ago and we married this year, but the financial arrangements have continued as they were.

Tbh I have no idea what he feels about this as we haven't discussed it since he moved in. I don't think it's an issue for him, but he is financially secure and has other assets (his previous home which is rented out etc) which maybe makes a difference?

The house is legally mine, he hasn't acquired a share in it through marriage.
He has however acquired through marriage an interest in all of my assets in the event of a divorce.
If I were to die intestate he would be entitled to (I think) the first £250k of assets and half of the remainder (with the other half being shared equally between my children). This isn't what will happen - I've made a will.

I'm in the same position as you OP, in that I live in my partners mortgaged property. However, I have my own separate property, mortgaged and owned by me, and also have enough kept aside for a deposit on a new place, should I ever need to move out. We are not married yet, and the intention is for me to go on the deeds once I've sold my own property. But the key is to be happy with the current situation at any given time and him being dismissive of you Is not a good sign. Perhaps he just thinks you're not going to break up, so is trying to be reassuring??! If you are paying less than you would on rent, you are still benefiting. If not, you need to revise the amount you contribute. What would you do if you had a baby, would he still expect you to contribute to the same level? I'd sit down, have a chat and explore all options until you are both happier.

My dp owned his flat for ten years before I moved in, I've now lived here three years paying 300 a month towards bills, council tax etc. It's a tricky one, sometimes I resent the fact I'm essentially a lodger with no tenancy agreement but then I like the freedom of having no ties if it goes wrong! No marriage on the cards for me so I'm increasingly questioning the whole relationship!

As someone else said it depends which I country you are in even if you do get married later on. In some countries even if you get married you would have no claim on the property because it was bought before you were married.

Instead of tying to buy into the property you are already living in buy something else and rent it out and keep it completely separate. Taking out a mortgage in the property you live in doesn't make any sense.

I'd buy your own place and rent it out, it does make total sense as you will be gradually building up equity, could move there if you broke up and if you stay together forever or end up living in someone elses home once mortgage paid off you will have an income. But somewhere you would potentially want to live ideally but if not just buy the most
profitable rent-wise. I live in my DHs house and I own a house I rent out. I think if you are not married and even if you were it's always good to have your own place. If you have children they might live there one day. I don't think you should get a stake in his as it would be potentially cost and stressful getting him to give your share back to you if you broke up.

Hi Robin, I live in my DH's property (he owned it outright before we got together.) I bought a flat of my own after we were together a few years and now rent it out. It's my security so that if we ever did split, I'd walk away and would have my own place to go to. I pay him hundreds of pounds a month towards bills, food, council tax etc. And I'm sure as his wife of 5 years and mother to his children I would have a claim on the property but I don't need one because I have my own place. We will move eventually and will get a mortgage together but I'm secure enough that it's not pressing yet. If you could no a buy to let with your savings as deposit, that's a good investment and gets you on the property ladder if things didn't work out? Works for me but it's whatever you are comfortable with.

I live in my partners house. I had my own which I rented out but recently sold. I don't pay rent or mortgage share but I pay half bills and half of any repair costs etc. We have done schussed marriage but he doesn't really want to get married. We are looking at possibly buying a new house together next year.

Can I just check that I understand , op?

You live in his house and pay him £500 a month. So say that's £100 toward bills and £400 rent. It depends on rents in your areas and how much you usually pay for a shared bedroom. Where I live you would only pay £600 for a whole flat , so a lot less for a shared room.

However you have no tenancy agreement and if he decided he could put you out without any notice . Are all the utility bills in his name as well ? Do you pay any part of the mortgage directly or just give him cash or pay into his account ? Does he declare this income on his tax return ? Do you pay council tax ?

So you have no rights to anything - he owns the property and all the furniture . If you fall out, You are out on your ear with a few suitcases.

He , on the other hand , will own a house which you have contributed to , yet you have nothing. Not even a reference from a previous landlord to help you get another tenancy .

And despite all this, he thinks you are " silly" to be concerned . Is that right ?

I wouldn't give up a % of my asset to my boyfriend. It's my house, and I shall keep it that way.
I am no more or less committed to a relationship for having a exit route.
Why would he want the added hassle of buying you out if you split, when he didn't need your investment in the first place?

Your logic doesn't make sense. You say that you could buy him out a portion and he invest that money in something with a better return. Why don't you take your money you'd use for ty mortgage and invest that for a better return? If you think property is the best return, then why would he give it up for you?

If you need a share in his house for financial security and because you're contributing to it - fine.
If you need it to make you feel he's more committed, I think you're barking up the wrong tree, sorry.

I live with my DP in his house. He bought a few years before we got together and is mortgage free. We both put £750 a month into a joint account to cover all the bills + food shopping, petrol and any activities we both do (hobbies, meals out, weekends away etc). I get a great deal as I'm paying out less than half what I was renting a smaller place, so have saved a wedge of cash.

I don't feel any need to buy him out of part of the house, but if I wanted money invested in property I'd put my money toward somewhere smaller (that I'd happily live in) and let it out. As it is I have my money invested in a way that makes better returns than property right now, so I'm happy to stay out of the market. Owning part of his house would only make a difference if we split, and all it would do is make the whole process more unpleasant. It would also potentially tie up all my cash for a while making it harder to move out.

We do plan to marry in the next few years and at some point after that move house, so will probably change the agreement then and both pay toward the new house. I'd also insist on a change should we have kids and one of us take a career/monetary hit in the process, to ensure that things were still fair.

Kr1stina has it.

No way would I do this OP.

I realise it must be lovely living in a £700k house but you basically gave no rights and are paying his mortgage.

Buy your own place or get married.

Have no rights, not gave

We have discussed the possibility of me taking out a mortgage on 25% of the property so that is a start at least .

Those advocating marriage as a solution: my understanding is that it would make very little difference to our financial situation. He earned the vast majority of his money prior to meeting me and no longer works (he's disabled). We don't have children but if we did it's unlikely I'd be a sahp for very long at all. From what I've read, in the event of a divorce I could delay him selling the house but would have no actual claim on its value. Am I wrong about this?

Ellisandra it is really helpful to hear your take on the situation. Thanks.

I owned my home outright having bought it after inheriting from my grans estate. Dh lived me knowing that and had no problem. He had a considerable amount of debt when we met and he wanted to get it sorted out before we made any big moves re the house.

When we got married we decided we wanted to make major alterations to the house and being a sahm that was going to be difficult for me alone to borrow the money. We did a transfer and I signed half the deed to him. No money changed hands. We got a mortgage, borrowed less than half the value of the house and he pays the repayments.

£35k in savings is a great amount of deposit for a rental in some areas of the north of England. Can you donsomething like that?

Or a holiday home?

Robin, I should emphasise that I love my fiancé very much! He's going to move in with me, and as a result he'll be about £1000 a month better off! (he'll not pay a share of my bills and he'll keep his house rental income, because I earn a lot more than him)
So it's not about love or meanness... it's just that I'm a practical person (and also have been through divorce!) who just would NOT have the complication of a shared property in case of a split.

We are going to have a pre-nup too, both happy with that. (we actually have similar assets now, but mine are more likely to increase)

There is no easy answer to what a split would mean for you, post marriage.
As he's disabled now and can't work and you mention he bought this very expensive house for cash, I'm guessing it may have been from accident Insurance. In that case, I'm sure a solicitor would argue very successfully for him keeping the house, as it's not simply a marital asset but the replacement for his remaining lifetime earnings.

If I were the DP I would be a bit worried someone taking out a mortgage for 25% or whatever of a home I owned outright. In effect, selling part of home I already own and dont need to sell.

He would be going from owning something outright to having a bank/building society owning part of it and being sure that the OP would pay the mortgage over the next 25 years. What happens if there is a breakup? The OP would be under no obligation to sell it back and could sell it. That would open up a minefield. Or perhaps the OP cannot afford to make the payments. Would the DP have enough money to by out the loan on the property - again the bank would not be under obligation to sell the load/settle the loan with him.

If the OP needs to feel more committed and is seeking it via some kind of joint thing perhaps joint investments elsewhere.

If DP cannot earn much in future then he is actually risking his future home security by agreeing to this. I am not sure I would ask that of a disabled person if I am honest.