Sedentary husband started going out for walks?

[Ramonaramona73]

Just this... things are not great between us, he's off work. He NEVER goes anywhere ever but is off for a walk and when pressed, probably stopping at a pub. He's gone for walks in last couple of days after arguments. It couldn't be another woman as he has no free time but it feels wrong though somehow, also unfair as I don't get to do this with our small dd to look after. Am I paranoid?

I know many are saying that there is no evidence to suggest an affair but this is exactly what my ex did when he did have an OW! He suddenly started going on bike rides when he had previously not moved off the sofa. He would start arguments over nothing and use this as an excuse to go out on his 'bike rides' I called his bluff and told him that I'd come with him and bring the kids on one of these bike rides, his reaction told me all I needed to know! It may be entirely innocent but I would definitely remain vigilant OP. His behaviour sounds totally unacceptable regardless of the walks.

Apparently I treat him terribly and I'm always on at him / he works ft and I am a sham. I have done everything for D.C. Since birth including all nightfeeds because he had long commutes. I do all daily housework including laundry, bins etc and have a nice meal ready for him every night no matter how I feel. I contribute 2/3 of what he does financially ( I own a property I have rental income from) . I have given him a beautiful child. Apparently I have been terrible to him. He does not seem to be going snywahere though just torturing me, he Wont go to Counselling.

I don't think there is an OW but I do think he is going out of the house to steer clear of arguments....if you aren't getting on it will be worse being together during the Christmas break.

It's clear from.your post you don't really like him that much

Ok so if you're so bad why does he stay?

He's just a cocklodger. He likes having 2/3 of the bills paid and getting what he wants.

I know you have a small child but he has to go.

What are you hanging around for then ?

If you are financially independant honestly it's way easier being a single parent. Trust me.

He sounds like an asshole

I Meant I contribute 2/3 of what he does not that he only contributes a third. Me treating him terribly is me having the audacity to ask him to do too many things in the wrong tone on a daily basis, to want to talk about what we are doing on any day we have together, to want him to take care of his health, to want to get away from the computer and the tv for a while over the weekend. I am exhausted and I am still breastfeeding a 2,5 year old so watching me tone of voice all day long is stressful because often it's wrong. He has no hobbies except those ion a screen.je has no re friends And moved here as an adult. He had never once planned any outing or date together. Hes a big bloke and yet he talks to me in the angriest most hateful manner, waving his finger, tapping his head, repeating phrases like a lunatic. I do love this man, I am desperately sad about our relationship. I have v little support- elderly parents who cannot babysit and are not close by and a sibling in the USA who is v difficult and not any support to me. I am so sad for my son to end up with just me and I have always felt so lonely and isolated myself this is the last thing I wanted for him. If we divorce hecwill make it hard for me- he already acts like I'm not there whilst fawning over our D.C. To punish me.

Was this an arranged marriage? How did you end up with him?

No matter what he says or does you are better without him.

Please ask yourself why anyone would continue to love a man who talks to them "in the angriest, most hateful manner".
Either you, quite reasonably, love him less than you can admit to yourself or you have some codependency issues to address. You are worth so much more than this treatment. There are men out there who would respect you, as every human being deserves.

I don't think you are paranoid. Your gut feeling is telling you something feels wrong. Trust your instincts, they exist to protect you. And I wouldn't assume he doesn't have enough free time to have an OW. Affairs thrive on the thrill and secrecy of stolen hours and half hours at any time of the day or night.
He sounds awful and so typical of an abusive bully to select a partner with little family support. This is no way for you to live; physically intimidated and walking on eggshells, afraid you will say the 'wrong' thing without realising.

If you stay your DD will expect to be treated the same way as you in her adult relationships. It will be her template of what is normal.
If you end it, you will show her that she doesn't have to tolerate a relationship which lacks kindness and respect.
If you choose the latter, please phone Women's Aid 24/7 for advice on how to get out safely 0808 2000 247. Lines are quietest 7pm-7am.

Not sure if anyone else has mentioned this, but you'd be able to smell whether or not he'd been to the pub.

he is going to destroy me if I dont leave soon

It's time to start planning your exit now isn't it, when the alternative is that you end up destroyed?