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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Inapropriate comments

43 replies

bananasmoothie · 20/02/2007 14:37

Right, this is the last one, I promise.

As I said in my last thread me and DP went out for a meal on saturday night. We decided to walk home but to do this we needed to walk through a VERY rough area...a road inparticular which is known for drug dealers, race riots, football riots etc...

As we're walking I'm trying to avoid making eye contact with the drunks and prostitutes etc! DP, not familiar with the area asks why I'm walking so fast, I tell him about the area.

He quickly works out that they are is full of asylum seekers and other 'non English' people and the english people that are then tend to be the football thugs and prostitutes.

Remember we had been drinking but were certainly not drunk.

He then says quietly "so I guess shouting out white supremecy stuff wouldn't be a good idea around here then?" he said it as a joke, I didn't find it funny and just replied "no".

He then starts saying "white is right" etc laughing trying to wind me up knowing that I was uncomfortable with the area.

Neither of us are racist, he didnt say it to offend anyone, he was trying to scare me basically as I was already on edge but am I right in thinking that this was an extremely irresponsible and stupid thing to do even if it was for a laugh or am I over-reacting?

I told him to shut up at the time and made it obvious I didn't find it funny and he apologised but was still laughing afterwards.

Sorry for the many threads on him today, It was just an odd weekend and I'm just piecing things together now...I'd like opinions on this thread without the other stuff influencing anyones feelings on it...

Thanks again off to pick the kids up now, I'll be back on later.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 20/02/2007 14:40

It is a stupid thing to do

It is also not funny

You say he is not racist, how does he know this slogan?

bananasmoothie · 20/02/2007 14:42

He watches alot of movies, football hooligans, skinheads etc...

The thing is what made it worse was that he said it just as we were approaching a 'non-white' man, Im sure he just doesnt think.

OP posts:
QueenEagle · 20/02/2007 14:42

He sounds like a twat, sorry. One you need to get rid of pretty quick too.

Otherwise, you will be still posting threads on his stupid, immature behaviour this time next year......and wondering why you didn't ditch him a year ago......

CountessDracula · 20/02/2007 14:43

I agree he sounds like an arse
bin him

Blu · 20/02/2007 14:43

It was obviously stupid. Not only stupid in terms of your safety, but rude and offensive to all the people who live there happily and trying to do thier best.

he is a prat, and you need to develop enough common sense to trust your own judgement. How could it not have been stupid? You really don't need us to tell you

itsmeNDP · 20/02/2007 14:44

[speechless]

I'm sorry, but I can only assume that you are a troll, at this point. I simply cannot for the life of me believe that someone would choose to stay in a relationship with a person like this. The only reasons people stay with wankers like your DP are that they have kids together, or that they are financially dependent on the loser partner. You are neither of these things. You seem to be a sensible, responsible person, otherwise, I don't get it. Really I don't

NurseyJo · 20/02/2007 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bananasmoothie · 20/02/2007 14:45

I can assure you I'm not a troll, I can see why you would think that though, I'm not sure I understand it myself it's all getting me down to be honest.

really must go now, ill be back on later x

OP posts:
Blu · 20/02/2007 14:46

Actually soince this idiotic man is apparantly protected from all the consequences of his own stupidity by either you or his Mum it might have been good for him to have got his head kicked in a bit so that he understood that deliberate stupidity does end in grief.

justbeme · 20/02/2007 14:46

Maybe it was the drink, does he realise how dangerous it was now that he can look back on the situation?

nogoes · 20/02/2007 14:49

He doesn't sound like a very nice person and he is very immature for his age. I don't know how old you are but he sounds like he would be better off with some scatty 18 year old who will simper up to him and laugh at his patheticness.

He is obviously beginning to really grate on you so I think it is time to move on.

littlemissbossy · 20/02/2007 14:49

As you said you've started other threads about him today, so how are posters not going to be influenced by what you've already stated?
He sounds immature and so does this thread TBH. Threads like this just wind people up.

Heavenis · 20/02/2007 14:51

I thought you had take away and larger this weekend ?

littlemissbossy · 20/02/2007 14:54

LOL heavenis - well spotted!!!

what's that I hear in the distance ....

Heavenis · 20/02/2007 14:55

I'm sure your not a troll,but I don't understand why you have started another thread on him.

People are saying the same on here as on your other thread.

He is immature , mummies boy.

Why are you still going out with him ?
Because of a holiday you have booked and paid money on.

Sorry I don't understand your relationship.

ohsmellyjelly · 20/02/2007 14:56

Message withdrawn

itsmeNDP · 20/02/2007 14:56

I don't understand what you want people to say ?

ScottishThistle · 20/02/2007 14:58

Sounds like a fabulous role model for your children!

What do you actually love about this boy?

HappyDaddy · 20/02/2007 15:05

Please let me slap him.

Panncake · 20/02/2007 15:16

Can I hold HD's coat whilst he slaps him??

Emskilou · 20/02/2007 15:22

Oh fgs there are how many threads on your dp's (or whatever he is) prickish behaviour/attitude to life. Surely the need to start these threads is giving you a fucking big clue as to what a plonker he is (to put it politley of course ) do yourself (and your dcs) a favour tell him to feck off and grow up. All of this after HD has given him a dry slap naturally.

HappyDaddy · 20/02/2007 15:28

Does a dry slap hurt more than a wet one? Can i whip him with a wet towel?

Gee72 · 20/02/2007 15:32

What. A. Tool.

Panncake · 20/02/2007 15:35

Bananasmoothie - you said oyu split up, but don't know why you are back together...

Well, THINK ABOUT IT!! Perhaps you are well-matched.

Carmenere · 20/02/2007 15:39

BananaSmoothie, lets talk about you. WhyTF have you put up with this behaviour for so long? The bloke(and he does not qualify as a dp)is a first class idiot who is looking for an easy ride and that is you. You absolutely cannot find him attractive, it would make my skin crawl to touch him. And why can't you tell him he's not going on the holiday?

You seem pleasant and articulate, two big qualifications for a partner much nicer than this immature child.