Two of our three children have quite recent diagnoses of ASD, they are both teenagers, the youngest is NT. Every christmas up until now, present giving has been centred on the children's gift. This year, our youngest showed me a list of gifts she was saving to buy for family and friends. It occurred to me that neither of the other two had any intention of buying her a present so I had a chat with DH and with the teens and instigated a present exchange system where everyone would buy a little gift for everyone in the family and receive one in return. The fact I had to sit down and spell it all out for everyone actually made me a little sad. All three children have bought little gifts for each other and for both us parents. I have most of my gifts bought and told DH what they were, he has now kicked off with a massive tantrum saying he had no idea we were buying separate gifts and can the gifts I bought be from us both. I have refused on the grounds that this is reciprocal gifting and a lesson in modelling this behaviour for the two boys who otherwise might not automatically learn how to give and receive. They do not always observe and learn social norms and customs, we have to teach them that gifting is not one way traffic - which it has been for them all along. Am I being unreasonable to insist he buys everyone a little gift too?
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is DH BU about christmas presents or am I?
46 replies
knitpicker · 22/12/2016 18:06
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