DH saying I am a neurotic control freak but I feel I'm the only one who is taking care of everything

[TheSlumpingbauble]

We are abroad in DH's home country and DD (3yo) has terrible cystitis. She is suffering, feverish, not sleeping and refusing to drink and in pain. DH doesn't seem to be able to acknowledge how much she is suffering and just thinks she is playing up when she cries. I dosed DD up on nurofen last night and made it clear we needed to get to a doctor / pharmacist today.

I woke up this morning to find DH gone. I got the DC up, I had promised poor crying DD I would do something to resolve her pain today, but his leaving without telling me means I am stuck in the rental with the DC til he comes back. I also cannot speak the local language so would find it hard to get the right help for DD. I am also exhausted from lack of sleep comforting DD all night.

DH comes back after two hours. He has been to a pharmacy to get some throat sweets for himself because he has a sore throat, he then went for breakfast by himself.

I go ballistic. DH accuses me of being a control freak nazi and ordering him around. Saying why am I always getting at him? Why don't I give him a break for once? We'll go to the pharmacy later for DD.

This is just one of many daily instances like this where he completely forgets mine and the DC's needs in situations, then when I bring him up on it he accuses me of being a neurotic control freak.

What is this? And how can I communicate to him what's happening? He doesn't seem to understand. Or am I being a neurotic control freak?

You aren't deluded at all. Start saving up for your running away fund/booting him out fund.

Seriously, why don't you just go home?
You and your dc are not having a good time.

Slump - he doesn't WANT to listen. Classic projection and mind games. I bet this isn't the only incident. Keep posting. Keep reading.

My ex left me in pain for hours in Egypt. I'll never forgive him.

If he had done this for ds, I'd have been put away for murder.

If it's somewhere like Egypt, ALL pharmacies have staff that speak English.

That said, it sounds like your little one needs more medical attention and should be seen by a doctor asap.

Poor lamb. I get rotten cystitis that requires antibiotics and its miserable. Either he just doesnt get how painful it is or he is an arsehole. Sorry.

You're not a control freak you're caring for your child. He is a selfish cock.

Agree with PP - you and the DC are not safe as he has such a cavalier attitude to your welfare.

i would go home. And rethink whether I wanted to stay in a relationship with such an abusive arsehole.

Very much hoping you are in a country where you can freely access a pharmacy yourself OP and could leave with the children if you wished. Not that I'm saying you should, I'd get home safely too, but that you could.

My jaw dropped to the floor when I read your OP this morning! You were definitely not being neurotic or a control freak. I can't believe he actually went TO THE PHARMACY, where he knew your poor daughter really needed something, and didn't get it!

I'm glad you got her to the doctor and I really hope she feels better soon.

Yes your DH is a horrible man. Awful.

You however have choices. You can choose to stay or to go. I know it might seem extreme but you need to make that choice.

Why wouldn't a parent put your child's needs first? A child whose clearly in pain. It's very odd he can't aknowledge the situation and can only see his own needs.

You and your DD are beneath him as you are mear females.