DP wont kiss me

[PinkSparrow]

If I've gone down on him the same day.

Kissing is a big deal to me, and generally we are very affectionate with each other and kiss throughout the day often, not just around the time we are initiating/ having sex.

I enjoy going down on him, I want to do it, but knowing that he wont come near me for the rest of the day or kiss me during the remainder of our bedroom activities really puts me off doing it.

I understand that he doesn't want to taste himself on me, and I wouldn't mind if he'd rather wait till I've brushed my teeth and washed my face but after that I don't understand why I generally need to wait 24 hours.

We are very lighthearted about things and I've asked him what the "time limit" is but he didn't really answer me. We live together but by normal standards this is still quite a new relationship, I adore him and I find it difficult that we can't be as intimate if I do this for him but we both enjoy it so much I don't want to stop altogether. I do it less than I'd like to though just because I can't face the thought of going ages without being affectionate in other ways.

Is there a way of bringing this up with him without it seeming like I'm blackmailing him? Has anyone else been through this and been able to change their partner's mind or do I just have to suck it up (pardon the pun)?

I hate the "if he won't give you oral then you need to stop giving it to him" attitude. It would not be tolerated if it were the other way round and I agree that a tit for tat approach is not going to make for a happy sex life.

I'm glad someone else thought this, ikeameatballs. All this talk of making someone do something they don't want to do and giving ultimatums is vile. This is a communication issue, and without knowing why the man in question doesn't want to do something it's completely unacceptable to suggest that he should just be manipulated into doing it anyway.

ikea and frieda

That's exactly my thinking on the issue and probably why I have been a bit defensive. Just because he doesn't like something doesn't mean I should be giving ultimatums and trying to force his hand. The point in posting was to try and understand/ find a way of speaking to him about it without it seeming like I was trying to pressure him.

He is lovely and not at all selfish in nature. He can be a bit tactless sometimes but I know any hurt this has caused me isn't intentional. We haven't had a chance to talk yet but there's no way I'll be trying to blackmail him.

And Sandy that would be fine if the kissing "ban" didn't extend for the rest of the day. It's not just a case of an hour or two afterwards.

I must say kissing after oral has never been a problem for me. I have only ever met one woman who would not let me kiss her after I had been down on her. She would kiss me if she went down on me but not the other way. I did find this problematic because I just totally like to get lost in the moment. So it's a bit of a passion killer. I love passionate kissing, licking and nibbling. So Of course its fine, we all have our likes, dislikes and boundaries.I adopted the oral ban because I valued kissing over going down on her. She hated not getting oral but was not for compromising. It was just a case of sexual incompatibility. It wasn't a serious relationship and that was the end of that.

And Sandy that would be fine if the kissing "ban" didn't extend for the rest of the day.

I expect everything to be back to normal after sex. I (we), always brush our teeth/and or rinse out after oral, especially because I often kiss my DCs.

I don't not let him kiss me after he's gone down, but I'm not a fan of it.

I remember actually saying no to my first BF and he said 'but it's you/your juices'.

Of course in a serious relationship there is far more invested so obviously there needs to be more compromise because it's more than just sex. What about oral with a condom?