Hi everyone, I'm new here and just need some advice and or kind words to keep my spirits up, this will be long so here goes!
I've been with my husband for 18 years married for 11, we have 4 children together I was 16 when we met. Currently I have been sleeping on the sofa for the last 4 nights and he hasn't spoken a word to me. This all started on Monday when he checked his bank account (he has his own) and saw that on Saturday he asked me to withdraw £100 for him but I took £120 and didn't tell him, I obviously shouldn't have took the extra £20 but I needed it and he doesn't actually give me any money on a weekly or monthly basis. We have had countless arguments about him giving me money towards the household but he always has an excuse why he shouldn't ie: he pays the car payment and insurance which I use, he buys clothes for the kids etc it's not that he's tight he just refuses to give money to me, I buy all the shopping, electric, gas, give the kids money for school and pay the rent.
After he found out about the £20 he rang me and said if I ever go near his bank card again he was going to break my ribs and he then blocked my number from his phone! A lot of you will probably be appalled at hearing that but I suppose I'm used to his threats and it doesn't affect me as much anymore it's become kind of "normal", I am also not allowed to drive his car anymore even to bring the kids to school so im walking and the older are taking the bus. Please don't get me wrong I know I'm in an abusive relationship with an extremely controlling man but I feel like I'm so deep into the relationship I have no possibility of getting out. He has never hit me but the mental stuff Is ongoing but I feel as though it doesn't effect me as badly as it used to because I don't rise to it anymore, when he said I wasn't to use the car I never said a word because I think he enjoys it more when he knows it hurts me so I just got on with it as though it doesn't affect me, today he must have unblocked my number to text me to say I can use the car to pick our youngest up from school as it was raining but I wouldn't let him get the better of me so I didn't and I walked anyway. This isn't the first time he's pulled this with the car, I feel like I'm the only person living with a man like this he is just so grumpy and moody most of the time I actually can't stand him about 70% of the time, I am very resilient and he'll never get me down so much that I'm depressed or anything I just wish he would lighten up and enjoy life instead of being so negative and controlling all the time. I wish I had the courage to leave him I really do but I know Im not there yet, I have never told anyone what way he behaves because I'm so embarrassed that I have allowed him to do this, I think he is just so miserable and unhappy inside himself that he wants everyone else to be like him. I guess my question is, has anyone else went through this and came out the other side happier either alone or together?