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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

son isn't allowed in our town. would you move for him?

59 replies

matthews12 · 13/12/2016 12:57

my son is 17 and very troubled, i have done my best for him and my daughter (who is a dental assistant, so obviously a difference). he has no gcses, and was supposed to start attending college part time when he was 14 but sometimes just never went and i couldnt physically drag him there. he has recently been moved out of our town (due to a gbh charge, but cannot go into it) he is living in a hostel type thing under ss. all he does it hang out with his 'gang' every day and refusing any help with education and training etc.

would you move to be in the same town as him?

OP posts:

WellErrr · 13/12/2016 19:18

Yep, I'd try and make him join the army.

Christmassnake · 13/12/2016 19:23

You can't turn the clock back to when he was 12, no matter how much you want to...it's what you do from now that matters....have you a relative or friend in another town he could stay with ? Or could you all make a fresh start somewhere new,?

Christmassnake · 13/12/2016 19:25

He needs to get someGCSEs and ALevels....it can be done..it's free at college till age 24... I'd move somewhere new and enroll him at college he needs to be living at home.

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 13/12/2016 19:27

Mind - the army might not want him if he actually has a record of any type.

Sorry.

bummymummy77 · 13/12/2016 19:38

Goodness, my ds is only 3 but I'm pretty sure I'd 'care' about him still when he's 17 no matter what he did!

Don't know what I'd do in your shoes op but

Penhacked · 13/12/2016 19:39

I agree if you are serious about moving I'd be moving a fair old way away where he can make a fresh and anonymous start.

SirNiallDementia · 13/12/2016 19:49

You can't make him accept your help so I'd probably stay put but try to keep lines of communication open and meet him in a neutral location. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like he wants your support at the moment.

GriefLeavesItsMark · 13/12/2016 20:03

Is everybody missing that GBH with intent is a very serious crime, and can end in a long sentence. Especially likely if the young man refuses to engage.

Nicknameofawesome · 13/12/2016 20:37

As he is now the fact he is on his own will allow him to access help that would be harder if he was at home. These days there are schemes run to help teens and young adults like him. Shared houses that have a mentor in them to keep an eye on things. They have freedom but also have a safe living space as gangs and drugs are not welcome in the house.

Support him, love him, regularly meet him, help him access help. Those are likely the best things you can do right now. Don't move. It's not needed at this point.

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